Uncle Drago's agony column

[tyred]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I feel I have been held back in life because all my friends treat me as if I am thick.

I think what is wrong is that they don't understand the intelligent insights I can apply to situations and are actually jealous of my superior intellect.

How can I make them respect me more?

Yours faithfully,
Trigger,
c/o The Nag's Head, Peckham

 

[Drago]

Dear Thicko,

Stop being a dilbert, you dense pile of blubber. If your brains were gluenyou couldn't keep a postage stamp on your head. Stop wasting my time numbnuts.

Love,

Auntie Drago.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I have an ironing dilemma. I used to take around 15 to 20 minutes to iron a shirt, doing every required crease and ironing over unwanted creases meticulously. It now takes I'd say 10 minutes at the most, as I can't be bothered to do my shirts to perfection like I used to do. Uncle @Drago, do I need therapy to resolve this dilemma? 🤔

 

[Drago]

Dear Acrid,

You don't need therapy. What you need is to simply iron the collar and the V shaped bit at the front that will be on display.

 

[Cycleops]

No, what you want is drip dry non iron shirt.

 

[Drago]

No, what you want is drip dry non iron shirt.

That'd be like asking the poor fellow to wear trainers.

 

[Oldhippy]

Or if it needs ironing don't buy it.

 

[Drago]

Alternatively, donate your soiled shirts to the charity shop on Friday, and buy them back freshly laundered and ironed on Minday for 50p.

 

[Cycleops]

Or if it needs ironing don't buy it.

Turning Accy into a hippy is a forlorn hope.

 

[Drago]

Turning Accy into a hippy is a forlorn hope.

He'd me more of a Jason King style dandy.

 

[Dec66]

He'd me more of a Jason King style dandy.

Really?

 

[Drago]

Well, a kind of tweed clad Jason King. More a Jason Queen, perhaps?

 

[Hover Fly]

Really?

View attachment 719785

Cruelty to a budgie.

 

[stephec]

He'd me more of a Jason King style dandy.

Far too modern for a man who looks like he's stepped straight off the set of Downton Abbey.

 

[Dec66]

Cruelty to a budgie.

I consider myself to be a pretty fearless sort of chap, these days... But I wish I had the brass neck (and, indeed, the racing snake physique) to be able to go out dressed like that.