Dear Uncle Drago,
I don't feel people in this town take me seriously. They clearly do not realise my importance which I would have thought would be obvious. I am, after all the bank manager and also the Captain of the local Home Guards so you can see my obvious importance to the town.
I feel Wilson, my chief clerk as well as my sergeant looks down his nose at me just because he went to some posh school. He has got away with never really doing anything in his life apart from drift through it, whereas I have had to start at the bottom and work my way to the top. It was bloody hard I can you tell and I don't feel Wilson respects my efforts. Every time I have a fantastic new idea on how to operate more efficiently, all the can add is "Do you think that's wise?" in a rather sarcastic manner. Doesn't he recognise my superior intellect? I also have to put up with what he calls his nephew but we all know it's really his son and he is a rather stupid boy with even less sense than Wilson.
There is also this pessimistic, dour, grumpy old Scotsman called Frazer who always seems to try his best to undermine me and find fault in everything I do. He just spreads misery and pessimism. He is also gossip-monger and a miser and refuses all of my attempts to advise him how to manage his finances. I know he has a huge box of gold coins but he refuses to deposit them into my bank. Can you image such cheek?
Hodges, the greengrocer also mocks me and makes fun of me as he obviously doesn't know his station in life. He thinks he's more important than me just because he is an ARP warden. Such impertinence.
I am also inconvenienced by a silly old fool of a Corporal called Jones who must be at least 97 and seems to have left his brain in the Sudan many years ago. He over-reacts to everything and spreads panic and likes to stick bayonets in things. I am also irritated by all his endless tales about how brilliant General Kitchener was. Doesn't the silly old fool realise I am a better leader than Kitchener ever was?
One of my other platoon members seems to be out to lunch most of the time and is forever falling asleep on duty or constantly looking for a toilet when he should be doing something.
The Vicar sometimes has the audacity to object to how I use the Church when I drill my troops and some damned fool of a verger is always there licking the Vicar's boots. Don't they realise I have powers invested in me by the King to command the use of his hall at my convenience to carry out my duties in defence of the Realm. Hitler better not try anything when I'm around.
How do you feel I can make the people of this town take me seriously and recognise my obvious importance and intelligence?
Yours Faithfully,
Capt. George Mainwaring,
c/o Swallows Bank,
Warmington-on-sea.
