Uncle Drago's agony column

[Drago]

My Grandad went to fight in WWII by mistake. He was a bit hard of hearing, and he thought his friends had said, "we're off to give the nun a good licking."

 

[classic33]

Dear Mr T

Never having written anything like this before, but I really need your advice on what may be a crucial decision.

I feel that my wife may be cheating on me. Looking back, all the signs were there. I just missed them for what they were. Simple things like phonecalls, which if I answered the caller hung up, her going out with the girls a lot of late. When I ask her who they are, she just says "they're the girls from work, you won't know them". I always stay awake until she comes home, often hoping to see her taxi outside. But she always walks down the street, never from outside the house.

I have never approached my wife with my fears, deep down I think I don't want to know the truth. But last night when she went out again, I parked my BMW R1150 GS outside the garage. This gave me the chance of seeing the full length of the street. Hopefully seeing her as she walked home.

It was whilst crouched down behind the bike, waiting, that I noticed that the valve covers on the engine seemed to be leaking. Is this something I can sort out myself, or should I take it to a main dealer?

Yours
Harvey Davidson

 

[classic33]

Dear Mr T
I’m deeply in love with this girl that I met at a party. The only problem is that she’s the daughter of my dad’s enemy! I really love her and don’t want to lose her, but I know our parents would be really angry about it.

What should I do?
Yours Truly
R. Montague


Light through yonder window breaks, I am undone...

 

[Drago]

Montague? The crazy fool folding mountain bike guy? Fool.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Dear Mariella,

My wife has told me that weetabix means weetabix , but I want shredded wheat.

What does it all mean?

M. May

 

[classic33]

Dear Mariella,

My wife has told me that weetabix means weetabix , but I want shredded wheat.

What does it all mean?

M. May

Your wife has simply got you mixed up with someone else. Does the lodger eat weetabix?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Dear Mariella,

Someone called Classic33 is trying to take over your agony column. Please do something about them. It's agony seeing the replies.

Yours

Westfield psychiatric department.

 

[Lullabelle]

I found two pairs of non-matching socks in my sock drawer.

 

[Lullabelle]

As far as odd socks are concerned, it is all the rage to wear odd socks nowadays. My grandsons often wear odd socks. You might even be given respect and have street cred bestowed upon you for doing so.

In Norway we saw a lot of people with their socks pulled up outside their trousers-mostly Americans-maybe this also a trend

 

[welsh dragon]

In Norway we saw a lot of people with their socks pulled up outside their trousers-mostly Americans-maybe this also a trend

Typical Americans. They have to be different.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Typical Americans. They have to be different.

That hurts, if I have my walking boots one & going for a decent walk I always have my socks on the outside of my trousers, but comparing me with Americans that's just cruel.

 

[welsh dragon]

That hurts, if I have my walking boots one & going for a decent walk I always have my socks on the outside of my trousers, but comparing me with Americans that's just cruel.

My sincere apologies. . Under those circumstances wearing socks like that is acceptable and can even be seen as fashionable .

 

[tyred]

Dear Drago,

Back in 1977 I had reason to go to the little boys room and the when I was finished and tried to come out again the door knob broke and it took me some time to break the door so I could get out.

When I did get out I discovered that there was a slow news day and that the newspapers had made up some sort of story about me dying just to boost their sales. Understandably I felt embarrassed by this so kept a low profile for a bit and it had the had advantage of stopping me being hounded by my fans.

Of course I had cut myself off from my old life and record royalties so took a job in a fish and chip shop for a time to pay the bills. Now I am sick of coming home with my hair my jump suit reeking of chip fat every evening so I would really like to start playing gigs again and reclaim my title of the King of Rock n' Roll although I think with the arthritis I may have to tone down the dancing nowadays. I also think I'd make a good judge on X-Factor.

I was wondering if you could give me some advice on the best way to come back from the dead and to resurrect my music career.

Yours faithfully,
Mr. E. Presley Esq.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

fashionable .

Fashionable, Fashionable, there you go again throwing insults about

 

[welsh dragon]

Fashionable, Fashionable, there you go again throwing insults about

I take it all back In that case.