Uncle Drago's agony column

[Edwardoka]

Shangri-la ?

Isn't that an irate Telletubbie ?

No you're thinking of Po-faced
Shangri-la is the opening lyrics to the song Mr Jones by Counting Crows

 

[raleighnut]

Those tunnelling Lancastrians travelling east will no doubt run into ancient Tibetans travelling from the underground city of Shangri-la.

Nah they'd use the ancient 'tripe smuggling' tunnels dug centuries ago so that 'rich' Yorkshiremen could obtain the delicacy free of the taxes imposed at the Lancastrian borders.

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago

I can't stop making up problems and writing in to Agony Aunts/Uncles about them.

what should I do?

Yours Anguished,
Amersham.

 

[Drago]

Dear Anquished,

Have you tried rubbing red wine on the stain? Or should that be white?

 

[classic33]

Dear Anquished,

Have you tried rubbing red wine on the stain? Or should that be white?

On the problems?

 

[Edwardoka]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I noticed in another column within your newspaper someone discussing chain wear and replacing cassettes.
Which got me thinking - why don't they make chains and cassettes from the same stuff they make chainrings from?

Yours in anticipation,

Ferris Ockside
Raleigh, North Carolina

 

[Drago]

Dear Ferrous,

Bike manufacturers manufacture chajnrings from depleted uranium, andmeceything else from dairylea for a very good reason - they want to empty your wallet at every possible opportunity.

 

[classic33]

Dear Ferrous,

Bike manufacturers manufacture chajnrings from depleted uranium, andmeceything else from dairylea for a very good reason - they want to empty your wallet at every possible opportunity.

Why is a lubricant used in dairylea?

 

[Drago]

Why is a lubricant used in dairylea?

That dates back to then196ps, when manufacturers tried to develop a space age cross between KY and a cheesy snack.

 

[Edwardoka]

Why is a lubricant used in dairylea?

I've recently watched a Jimmy Carr gig and as such, the most obvious answer is extremely offensive

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I HAVE embarked on an illicit affair with my boss Simone at work. She is married and though he say she loves me I think she is just kidding on. She won’t meet me outside the office, our few snatched moments together take place in the stationary cupboard where it’s a quick knee trembler then back to our desks. My friends say she is just using me.

Do I throw it all away by having a brief fling with some stupid young girl at work?

Pete, Porsche Driver, Portsmouth

 

[Drago]

Dear Pete,

Hell yes!!!

Uncle Drago.

 

[Dave7]

Dear Uncle Drago.
I always sleep heavily all night.
Recently, when I awake in the morning, I find that my dangly bits are very sore......bright red and feel like they are on fire.
It was the same this morning but while nursing them I noticed Mrs D sniggering while walking out of the bedroom holding a tub of butter and a pot of chilli powder.
Should I be worried ?
What should I do ?

 

[Drago]

Dear Dave,

Stop using your love lolly to stir the curry sauce when its your turn to make dinner.

 

[Dave7]

Dear Dave,

Stop using your love lolly to stir the curry sauce when its your turn to make dinner.

Please explain.... what is this "love lolly" you speak of ?
Also.....should I dare ask Mrs D why she has the butter & chilli powder. She is a very strong woman.