True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
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Dogtrousers
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In the 1980s Terry Venables and Chris Rea invented a football board game. You rolled a special set of dice and it came up with random refereeing decisions like "goal" or "offside" that drove the game forward. In later years Chris Rea used his programming wizardry to transfer the Venables and Rea random ref to computer, and the underlying VAR random algorithm was purchased by the FA.
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Drago
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Chris Rea, or Die-er-Rea, was the tag team partner of Big Daddy during the glory days of World of Sport wrestling.
Pinno718
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This ^ is true, I think you should have an agony uncle thread for disillusioned cash in the attic/place in the sun/bargain hunt/homes under the hammer addicts who miss out because the SS will take over... Where am I going with this?! Please let me loose on the MAGA in NCA&P, please...
Now be honest, you've made that up, haven't you? Tell the truth or a kitten does - horribly!
Now I recall an earlier post claiming he was going to referee this Sunday's League Cup final game at Wembley and initially I was sceptical but checked it out and that one is correct.
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Drago
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Chris Rea binned off GRINDR after the first attempt when it sent him on a date with Richard Madeley.
Pinno718
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Chris Rea put the ea in the beach. Whilst he was on it.
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Drago
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The feud continues. Chris Rea fills out every application form he can find in Richard Madeley's name.
The floppy haired daytime tv guru still doesn't understand why he's had a box of security uniforms, a JCB, and a lorry full of blow up sex dolls delivered to his house. That said, he kept one of the dolls for when Judy is out the house.
The floppy haired daytime tv guru still doesn't understand why he's had a box of security uniforms, a JCB, and a lorry full of blow up sex dolls delivered to his house. That said, he kept one of the dolls for when Judy is out the house.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea started an online petition demanding that Dick Dastardly be allowed to win Wacky Races just once.
A reasonable demand, you might think. But he spoiled it though, by adding "... and Peter Perfect must die".
A reasonable demand, you might think. But he spoiled it though, by adding "... and Peter Perfect must die".
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Drago
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The feud between Chris Rea and Richard Madeley dates back several years to an appearance on This Morning by the gravel voiced warbler.
Philip Schofield immediately made a pass at Rea, much to the dismay of the floppy haired fool who was hosting the show. Despite politely declining Schofields advances, Rea was never forgiven and the incident triggered a blood feud that continues to this day.
Schofield, meanwhile, has a new career modelling cardigans for the new Trump MAGA range of women's wear.
Philip Schofield immediately made a pass at Rea, much to the dismay of the floppy haired fool who was hosting the show. Despite politely declining Schofields advances, Rea was never forgiven and the incident triggered a blood feud that continues to this day.
Schofield, meanwhile, has a new career modelling cardigans for the new Trump MAGA range of women's wear.
Pinno718
Senior Member
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- Way out West
Chris Rea put the ea into Cleat Eastwood.
Who's this Cleat Eastwood you ask? Cleat is a lost soul. A man quite capable of seducing Judy just for kicks and looking at the expression on the floppy haired bloke's face whilst he does it. But Cleat would never do that. Not ever. Not because he has high moral standards but because he is deeply in love with Claire Balding. But the cruellest of things happened. He had both his legs metaphorically chopped off when Claire married another woman.
Last I heard, he was flipping Halal burgers in a Kibbutz.
Who's this Cleat Eastwood you ask? Cleat is a lost soul. A man quite capable of seducing Judy just for kicks and looking at the expression on the floppy haired bloke's face whilst he does it. But Cleat would never do that. Not ever. Not because he has high moral standards but because he is deeply in love with Claire Balding. But the cruellest of things happened. He had both his legs metaphorically chopped off when Claire married another woman.
Last I heard, he was flipping Halal burgers in a Kibbutz.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Have you wondered why Sting has been so quiet lately? He's been hard at work in his genetic engineering lab. Using cells that he gathered by going through the bins at dead of night he is planning to reveal his a hideous Rea/Madely chimaera. Behold - Rhys Readley!
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Drago
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Chris Rea was recently fined by the gendarmes because he had old style GB number plates on the TURDIS, and not the new and fully complaint UK ones.
He would have escaped the fine, but he got a bit shirty and asked why they weren't so quick to hassle German motorists in 1940.
He would have escaped the fine, but he got a bit shirty and asked why they weren't so quick to hassle German motorists in 1940.
