True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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grldtnr
Über Member
Chris Rea has encouraged panic buying , for people to stock up with essentials,
This is due to him travelling around in his Porta potty, Auberge field botty burps has caused adverse weather for the next few days, when in reality , one single snow flake which soon melted caused this latest advice to panic buy, when the deep 'Snowdrifts' reported are actually Dandruff from Chris ,he doesn't , won't use Head & shoulders dandruff shampoo.
This is due to him travelling around in his Porta potty, Auberge field botty burps has caused adverse weather for the next few days, when in reality , one single snow flake which soon melted caused this latest advice to panic buy, when the deep 'Snowdrifts' reported are actually Dandruff from Chris ,he doesn't , won't use Head & shoulders dandruff shampoo.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea, ever the tightwad, runs the TURDIS on budget Chinese Wang Tang Woosung tyres. This explains the wayward handling as it travels through time.
grldtnr
Über Member
....and there's me thinking his just too much of a tightwad to pump air into his tyres, but he might have a point, have you seen the charges they make to do that?
grldtnr
Über Member
A false reality is belief that Chris Rea has a time travel machine , whilst Chris Rea is a figment of Dragos alternate reality line, Drago is real ,Chris Rea is like Santa Claus , Unreal!
Which leaves Lazybloke in a bit of a bind as he is the high Priest of the Cult of Rea....
Which leaves Lazybloke in a bit of a bind as he is the high Priest of the Cult of Rea....
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The diesel additive, urea, was named after its inventer, Chris Rea?
Often the TURDIS would materialise in time and anyone spotting Chris nipping out for a piss would be likely to say, "you Rea?"
That the phrase "you Rea?", latterly shortened to urea, became associated with wee wee.
Often the TURDIS would materialise in time and anyone spotting Chris nipping out for a piss would be likely to say, "you Rea?"
That the phrase "you Rea?", latterly shortened to urea, became associated with wee wee.
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
I can go back to pastafarianism at the drop of a colander
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea was pretty upset to see strong the resemblance between his own life story and that of the latest Wallace and Gromit film.
He has been making inflammatory speeches to huge rallies of his garden gnomes and it's feared that things could get ugly.
He has been making inflammatory speeches to huge rallies of his garden gnomes and it's feared that things could get ugly.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
You need tyres for the Turdis to travel through time? 😲
grldtnr
Über Member
Naturally of course, Michelin 'pilots ' in this case, but hey you know Chris is a tightwad, Wang Tang WooSong are definitely inferior.... I wouldn't put them on my wheel barrow.
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
And good ones. The Time Lords are quick to pocked the road tax but never do a thing about the potholes.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Wormholes surely?
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea recently went back to around 120,000 years ago, in the Time Transit, where he met & made friends with Ugg the Neanderthal & his family, he decided to bring Ugg & family back to modern day Middlesbrough, where they live in a luxury glamping pod at the bottom of Chris Rea's garden, as well as providing them with housing, he taught them all English, which they speak with a strong Teesside accent, and got the 3 Neanderthal kids into a local school, Mrs Ugg a job in the local Aldi, Whilst Ugg maintains the garden, and works part time on the doors in Middlesbrough on Friday & Saturday nights.
