True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea is saving for a new CyberTURDIS, stainless steel bodywork and bulletproof glass.

By the way he is carrying on, he will need the protection, but surely Kevlar would be better against shrapnel

 

[DRM]

Stonehenge was erected by ancient Britons as a temple inspired by sightings of Chris Rea's time craft. Each stone is a rough-hewn representation of the TURDIS.

Not only that, but for centuries mankind has wondered what the Stonehenge stones actually did/represented, Chris Rea knows exactly what they are for, as he had the ancient people line the stones up so that it lines him up perfectly for the Teesport Time Travel Megabase, by sight from the Turdis' porthole

 

[lazybloke]

High priest of the Cult of Chris Rea, you should know there is no wrong thread to post true facts( fibs !) about the omnipotent Beardy Weirdy ,lord and not exactly saviour.
Seeing as he is omnipotent, he is every where, every time.,all the time!

All the times.

Get it right!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Charging Ohms for Christmas...

Chris Rea came up with the phrase “Resistance is futile…” , now used by the Borg in Star Trek

 

[Drago]

The toupee worn by William Shatner in the original Star Trek series was woven from Chris Rea's beard hair.

Mr Scot's famous phrase "she cannae take no more" refers to the hairdresser that made the wigs and the panniers full of beard pubes on her Moulton.

 

[lazybloke]

It doesn't matter how many times I play "Driving home for Christmas"; my children are now too mature to believe in Chris Rea.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's moustache has anti-bacterial properties. The makes of dental have tried several time to have Rea assassinated and thus bury the secret forever.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea can stand on a piece of Lego without swearing.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea regularly dresses up as Osama Bin Laden in order to assist new Navy SEALs with their training.

 

[grldtnr]

Curious , I just entered Chris Rea into Chat GPT, all seems pretty tame to fervered claims.
He according to Chat GPT ,invented the electric guitar, played on the moon, is proficient on the Sitar, holds the world record for longest Guitar solo ever.
I think we on the Forum are far more expert at slandering the anti hero

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was the original inventor of GPT and has secretly added hard-coded rules that prevent it from repeating foolish untrue stories about him.

 

[Moon bunny]

Whatever happened to Benny Santini? Is the account of Chris Rea’s efforts to buy a replica of the 1974 Italian Road Champion’s jersey he foolishly washed at too high a temperature.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was the original inventor of GPT and has secretly added hard-coded rules that prevent it from repeating foolish untrue stories about him.

Yet Chris Rea's attempts to purchase Google have failed, and it irks him tht searching Google for Chris Rea fact brings up all ort of information he's been trying to keep hidden.

 

[DRM]

In his latest geographical cock up, Chris Rea & The Turdis materialised at a Container Port in Istanbul, instead of the Teesport Time Travel Megabase, the auberge field blast dislodged containers on The Anmah making them tip to one side causing the ship to roll over on it's side, luckily 15 crew on board escaped without injury, but one was taken to hospital. Chris made a hasty retreat before he got caught by the Turkish authorities.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/ckgnzg5e9y3o

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's TURDIS does not fit in in the Panama Canal.