True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

Chris is a leading light in a shady organisation, LALA., Whose chief aim is to rid the world of Liquorice Allsorts, especially those hard black ones.
The League Against Liquorice Allsorts seek to eradicate Liquorice Allsorts, by the simple aim of eating them, so if that bag has misteriously disappeared ,you can guess it was Chris or name sake Christopher Biggins, other prime foodstuffs such as famously Tinned pineapple chunks, and Forseights Pease pudding is on the danger list.
But it may be thankless quest with Liquorice Allsorts

 

[craigwend]

Chris has got a new Tesla, this has led / unleaded to yet another rewrite of his ChrisReaMas Eve classic song...


Charging Ohms for Christmas...

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is saving for a new CyberTURDIS, stainless steel bodywork and bulletproof glass.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea is saving for a new CyberTURDIS, stainless steel bodywork and bulletproof glass.

By the way he is carrying on, he will need the protection, but surely Kevlar would be better against shrapnel

 

[DRM]

Stonehenge was erected by ancient Britons as a temple inspired by sightings of Chris Rea's time craft. Each stone is a rough-hewn representation of the TURDIS.

Not only that, but for centuries mankind has wondered what the Stonehenge stones actually did/represented, Chris Rea knows exactly what they are for, as he had the ancient people line the stones up so that it lines him up perfectly for the Teesport Time Travel Megabase, by sight from the Turdis' porthole

 

[lazybloke]

High priest of the Cult of Chris Rea, you should know there is no wrong thread to post true facts( fibs !) about the omnipotent Beardy Weirdy ,lord and not exactly saviour.
Seeing as he is omnipotent, he is every where, every time.,all the time!

All the times.

Get it right!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Charging Ohms for Christmas...

Chris Rea came up with the phrase “Resistance is futile…” , now used by the Borg in Star Trek

 

[Drago]

The toupee worn by William Shatner in the original Star Trek series was woven from Chris Rea's beard hair.

Mr Scot's famous phrase "she cannae take no more" refers to the hairdresser that made the wigs and the panniers full of beard pubes on her Moulton.

 

[lazybloke]

It doesn't matter how many times I play "Driving home for Christmas"; my children are now too mature to believe in Chris Rea.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's moustache has anti-bacterial properties. The makes of dental have tried several time to have Rea assassinated and thus bury the secret forever.

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea can stand on a piece of Lego without swearing.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea regularly dresses up as Osama Bin Laden in order to assist new Navy SEALs with their training.

 

[grldtnr]

Curious , I just entered Chris Rea into Chat GPT, all seems pretty tame to fervered claims.
He according to Chat GPT ,invented the electric guitar, played on the moon, is proficient on the Sitar, holds the world record for longest Guitar solo ever.
I think we on the Forum are far more expert at slandering the anti hero

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was the original inventor of GPT and has secretly added hard-coded rules that prevent it from repeating foolish untrue stories about him.

 

[Moon bunny]

Whatever happened to Benny Santini? Is the account of Chris Rea’s efforts to buy a replica of the 1974 Italian Road Champion’s jersey he foolishly washed at too high a temperature.