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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Despite having publicly claimed to do so on many occasions, Chris Rea has never actually worked as an economist.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Billingham, possibly. Savages there, since the 'glory' days of ICI.
OP
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea bought basic model 3 series and removed the boot lid badge so no one would know how tight he is.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Having seen Stephen Hawking's invitation to a time travellers' party in 2009, Chris Rea decided to spoil clever-clogs Hawking's joke by turning up. Unfortunately due to a typo he ended up in Cambridge in the year 920 and there wasn't much there. Just a few Danes and Anglo Saxons milling about.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Sting a fellow north eastern lad, not wanting to be left out, copied the Turdis and called it the Tardis. He put Police on the door in recognition of his early music years.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Poor old Stehen Hawking was wheelchair bound, bot not because of illness as often stated. No, Chris Rea had left the TURDIS parked with the cloaking device on and a drunk Hawking tripped over it and fell badly.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
He was also the voice of Count Von Count, in the audition film he can be heard having Count Von Count saying "1 tasty parmo, 2 tasty parmo's. 3 tasty parmo's" etc, many Americans were perplexed as to what he was talking about, and even more confused when the Count was seen eating them
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea was in the dressing room before a concert recently when he was approached someone who looked like dirty rumpled tramp who had somehow evaded security. Annoyed that he was being bothered by the masses, he reached into his pocket and got out his favourite pen - one of those four-colour Bics - to sign an autograph. He was surprised to see that the tramp had done the same, and what's more had the same kind of pen.
It turned out there was a full length mirror in his dressing room.
It turned out there was a full length mirror in his dressing room.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The government, aware that Chri Rea has failed to top the charts, caused mayhem with the timeline, and put Stphen Hawking in a wheelchair, are punishing him with a peerage.
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Blasphemy!
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Reminds me of a story from the 70's when this fella I knew (I won't call him a mate cos he was a nasty piece of work called 'Dominic'*) worked as a driver/minder for Rick Gretch..............He was down at 'Ricks' house and this guy wearing an old coat with sick down all one side was slumped in the corner of the room Dominic said "do you want me to chuck him out" to which Rick replied " That's Eric Clapton" (back in the 'Blind Faith days)
* BTW I knew this was true cos both of em drank in my local and 'Dom' was a fully patched 'Hells Angel' and a complete and utter twat.
Could be worse, he might have plastered Msport badges all over his 114i.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Earth only has seasons thanks to Chris Rea. While on furlough during covid he decided to skimp on TURDIS servicing.
This came back to bite him when he to apply extra power to gain altiude during bad weather and there was a huge backfire of the Auberge Flux Transistor, an explosion so violent it knocked Earth's axis 23° from vertical and thus gave the planet seasons and solstices.
This came back to bite him when he to apply extra power to gain altiude during bad weather and there was a huge backfire of the Auberge Flux Transistor, an explosion so violent it knocked Earth's axis 23° from vertical and thus gave the planet seasons and solstices.
