True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Hitler used to have a luxuriant full beard, but during one visit by Chris Rea a close pass from the TURDIS caused serious burns to Hitlers face as the Auberge Field swept over him, leaving the future despot with only a small tuft on his top lip.

Charlie Chaplin was thus outed as a huge Hitler fan when he copied the Fuhrer's new style.

 

[lazybloke]

"Elvis, you've used all the bog roll!"

 

[Drago]

Surely the great man himself must be aware of this thread by now?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is really a publicity shy Portugese woman called Isabella. The whole "gravelly-voiced blues musician from Middlesborough" business is an elaborate lie.

 

[grldtnr]

Surely the great man himself must be aware of this thread by now?

Well ,you would have thought so, perhaps he doesn't do social media

 

[Drago]

Well ,you would have thought so, perhaps he doesn't do social media

The Auberge Field messes up mobile reception.

 

[DRM]

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/09/07/europe/ukraine-thermite-dragon-drones-intl-hnk-ml/index.html
There has been speculation of a Dragon Drone, wreaking havoc over Russian armoured vehicles and front lines, whilst Ukraine are happy to claim this is true, there is video evidence of the Turdis leaving Ukraine after unscheduled visits due to a faulty GPS, you can clearly see how even a small backfire of the Auberge field is so destructive

 

[stephec]

Surely the great man himself must be aware of this thread by now?

Anyone who's become a member of here in the last few weeks is now under suspicion.

Thanks to the turdis though the real Chris Rea went back twelve years and started up this forum, come on shaun, the game's up.

 

[lazybloke]

This year, Chris Rea will be appearing in "I'm a celebrity".

Thanks to the Turdis he's already watched all the programmes and will have an unfair advantage in all the bushtucker shows.
This will lead to an amusing and improbable chain of events: accusations of the show being fixed, scandal in the press, Ant or Dec having a punch-up with Rea live on air, and Mr Tumble winning the next TV Presenter award.

 

[Drago]

For a joke Chris Rea absolutely refuse to go back in time and stop Noel Edmonds from being famous.

 

[lazybloke]

For a joke Chris Rea absolutely refuse to go back in time and stop Noel Edmonds from being famous.

It was Chris Rea who played Mr Blobby.
Here's an early prototype.

 

[grldtnr]

2 pages short of 101, we're nearly there!
We can lock it up and throw away the key, with or without our Cult leader ,the beared one!

 

[grldtnr]

Between Feb 28th and April 19 th,1993, Chris was at the Waco siege, but not being a Davidon branch sect member, he saw sense in creating his own cult, knowing the authorities were about to end the siege, he gathered up what ever weapons and other illicit substances , loaded the TURDIS and got the feck out of there.
Ever since Redcar has been a hotbed of illegal rhubarb & custard scented vapes, Using forced rhubarb grown in the West Yorkshire rhubarb triangle, he was going to market it as dairylea cheese triangles, but had to settle for 'laughing cow ' instead, Kraft dairy foods were going to get heavy, and threated to burn him out,
That's when he flipped the switch in the TURDIS, and then the Waco compound spontaneously erupted in flames

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's visit to the Sumatra area in 1883 did not end well. Desperate for a wee he landed on Krakatoa, where he pointed Percy.

Upon leaving Rea discovered the TURDIS was stuck on some rocks and had to turn the Auberge Field to maximum to achieve lift off, with predictably explosive results.

Once things had died down Rea nipped back and moved Krakatoa to a new location West of Java, just to annoy film director Bernard Kowalski.

 

[stephec]

2 pages short of 101, we're nearly there!
We can lock it up and throw away the key, with or without our Cult leader ,the beared one!

No way, in fact -

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest thread.'