True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea founded Wikipedia as a resource tomre-write the bits or history he had inadvertently messed up with his time machine.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was very diligent in his studies, as he never expected any success in his music career. He has a PhD in highway engineering and has a tattoo of the Gravelly Hill Interchange on one of his buttocks and another of the Swindon Magic Roundabout on his right arm.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was very diligent in his studies, as he never expected any success in his music career. He has a PhD in highway engineering and has a tattoo of the Gravelly Hill Interchange on one of his buttocks and another of the Swindon Magic Roundabout on his right arm.

His 3rd nipple is actually a tattoo diagram of the proposed Holland Park roundabout cycle infrastructure.

I applaud his support of active travel, but i can't work out what his 4th and 5th nipples are representing.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's nickname at school was "Scaramanga" due to his superfluous third nipple.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea was the inspiration for the song We Didn't Start The Fire, after he let slip to Billy Joel about his Time Machine and all the historical things he'd been able to witness whilst waiting to film their bit on Top Of The Pops, he later took Billy out for a quick time tour to prove he wasn't fibbing

 

[Drago]

Billy Joel complained to trading standards after he bought a faulty time machine from Chris Rea and the leaking Auberge field caused Uptown Girl to inexplicably get to number 1.

Rea countered this by using his new time machine, a vintage Die Glocke model purchased from a used car dealer in Poland, to go back in time and not sell the old time machine to Joel.

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea was the inspiration for the song We Didn't Start The Fire, after he let slip to Billy Joel about his Time Machine and all the historical things he'd been able to witness whilst waiting to film their bit on Top Of The Pops, he later took Billy out for a quick time tour to prove he wasn't fibbing

London 1666? Rome 64?

 

[DRM]

London 1666? Rome 64?

Mr Rea Has witnessed it all!

 

[lazybloke]

"Witnessed".

 

[DRM]

In his latest Time Machine Faux Pas, Chris Rea went back to Kansas in 1898, where a young Buster Keaton was playing outside, however the arrival of the Time Machine caused young Buster to suffer 3 accidents, he was concussed when a brick he threw was bounced off a nearby tree cutting his forehead, then the Cyclone caused by the arrival of the Turdis sucked Buster out of an upstairs window, then the Turdis distracted Buster who was messing about with a clothes wringer causing him to crush his finger, which had to be amputated, after this Chris felt so guilty about what he had done to his favourite silent movie star, he travelled to 1938 to apologise to a now adult Buster Keaton, however he created permanent animosity between themselves after being overheard asking a film studio worker Do you know where Kit Kat Keaton is?

 

[Drago]

A young Chris Rea played PC Steve 'Spunky' Simmons in Z Cars, the bravest young copper in Merseyside.

Indeed, it was Rea that took Brian Blessed under his wing and Imbued within him a love of beards.

 

[Dogtrousers]

A young Chris Rea played PC Steve 'Spunky' Simmons in Z Cars, the bravest young copper in Merseyside.

Indeed, it was Rea that took Brian Blessed under his wing and Imbued within him a love of beards.

Blessed has returned the favour over the years by pulling strings, and having words with casting directors to help Rea's acting career through some difficult times. Most notable was Rea's performance as "Fifth Hawkman" in Flash Gordon.

 

[Drago]

During the filming of Flash Gordon it became apparent that Sam Jone's heavy Portuguese accent wasn't going to work on film, so Chris Rea was called in to dub all of Jone's dialogue.

As mentioned above, Blessed and Rea remained good friends throughout and BB was devastated with the news that Rea's dog, Gordon, had been hit by a hawkman jet bike during filming and was mortally wounded. The dog was rushed to the vets for emergency surgery and when the word got back to the set that the op had been successful BB overheard the crew talking and asked of them, "Gordon's alive?" The director loved the spontaneity of this and kept it in the final cut of the film.

 

[Drago]

When Google AI was asked about Chris Rea...

There seems to be some confusion or misinformation linking Chris Rea to Die Glocke. It's possible that there might be a misunderstanding or a false rumor circulating online.

 

[Dogtrousers]

When Google AI was asked about Chris Rea...

There seems to be some confusion or misinformation linking Chris Rea to Die Glocke. It's possible that there might be a misunderstanding or a false rumor circulating online.

That's ridiculous. Die Glocke is a foolish conspiracy theory that Chris Rea would never get involved with. Even on a Sunday afternoon, with nothing better to do, Chris wouldn't dignify it with a quick spin in his time machine to disprove or verify it.