True Facts About Chris Rea

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classic33

Leg End Member
Beating a certain river-named website
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Beating Wikipedia now. Top of the list!
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Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea was very diligent in his studies, as he never expected any success in his music career. He has a PhD in highway engineering and has a tattoo of the Gravelly Hill Interchange on one of his buttocks and another of the Swindon Magic Roundabout on his right arm.
 

lazybloke

Considering a new username
Location
Leafy Surrey
Chris Rea was very diligent in his studies, as he never expected any success in his music career. He has a PhD in highway engineering and has a tattoo of the Gravelly Hill Interchange on one of his buttocks and another of the Swindon Magic Roundabout on his right arm.

His 3rd nipple is actually a tattoo diagram of the proposed Holland Park roundabout cycle infrastructure.

I applaud his support of active travel, but i can't work out what his 4th and 5th nipples are representing.
 
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Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Billy Joel complained to trading standards after he bought a faulty time machine from Chris Rea and the leaking Auberge field caused Uptown Girl to inexplicably get to number 1.

Rea countered this by using his new time machine, a vintage Die Glocke model purchased from a used car dealer in Poland, to go back in time and not sell the old time machine to Joel.
 

lazybloke

Considering a new username
Location
Leafy Surrey
Chris Rea was the inspiration for the song We Didn't Start The Fire, after he let slip to Billy Joel about his Time Machine and all the historical things he'd been able to witness whilst waiting to film their bit on Top Of The Pops, he later took Billy out for a quick time tour to prove he wasn't fibbing

London 1666? Rome 64?
 

DRM

Guru
Location
West Yorks
In his latest Time Machine Faux Pas, Chris Rea went back to Kansas in 1898, where a young Buster Keaton was playing outside, however the arrival of the Time Machine caused young Buster to suffer 3 accidents, he was concussed when a brick he threw was bounced off a nearby tree cutting his forehead, then the Cyclone caused by the arrival of the Turdis sucked Buster out of an upstairs window, then the Turdis distracted Buster who was messing about with a clothes wringer causing him to crush his finger, which had to be amputated, after this Chris felt so guilty about what he had done to his favourite silent movie star, he travelled to 1938 to apologise to a now adult Buster Keaton, however he created permanent animosity between themselves after being overheard asking a film studio worker Do you know where Kit Kat Keaton is?
 
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Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
A young Chris Rea played PC Steve 'Spunky' Simmons in Z Cars, the bravest young copper in Merseyside.

Indeed, it was Rea that took Brian Blessed under his wing and Imbued within him a love of beards.
 

Dogtrousers

Kilometre nibbler
A young Chris Rea played PC Steve 'Spunky' Simmons in Z Cars, the bravest young copper in Merseyside.

Indeed, it was Rea that took Brian Blessed under his wing and Imbued within him a love of beards.

Blessed has returned the favour over the years by pulling strings, and having words with casting directors to help Rea's acting career through some difficult times. Most notable was Rea's performance as "Fifth Hawkman" in Flash Gordon.
 
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