Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Unfortunately Chris Rea crossed his own timeline at Buncefield causing quantum enturdment, triggering a different reason for the explosion.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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classic33
Leg End Member
Illaveago
Guru
- Location
- Chippenham,Wiltshire.
Chris Rea was once in Shakespeare's "As You Like it" but sadly not many people liked it !
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea founded Wikipedia as a resource tomre-write the bits or history he had inadvertently messed up with his time machine.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea was very diligent in his studies, as he never expected any success in his music career. He has a PhD in highway engineering and has a tattoo of the Gravelly Hill Interchange on one of his buttocks and another of the Swindon Magic Roundabout on his right arm.
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
His 3rd nipple is actually a tattoo diagram of the proposed Holland Park roundabout cycle infrastructure.
I applaud his support of active travel, but i can't work out what his 4th and 5th nipples are representing.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's nickname at school was "Scaramanga" due to his superfluous third nipple.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea was the inspiration for the song We Didn't Start The Fire, after he let slip to Billy Joel about his Time Machine and all the historical things he'd been able to witness whilst waiting to film their bit on Top Of The Pops, he later took Billy out for a quick time tour to prove he wasn't fibbing
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Billy Joel complained to trading standards after he bought a faulty time machine from Chris Rea and the leaking Auberge field caused Uptown Girl to inexplicably get to number 1.
Rea countered this by using his new time machine, a vintage Die Glocke model purchased from a used car dealer in Poland, to go back in time and not sell the old time machine to Joel.
Rea countered this by using his new time machine, a vintage Die Glocke model purchased from a used car dealer in Poland, to go back in time and not sell the old time machine to Joel.
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Mr Rea Has witnessed it all!
lazybloke
Priest of the cult of Chris Rea
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
"Witnessed".
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
In his latest Time Machine Faux Pas, Chris Rea went back to Kansas in 1898, where a young Buster Keaton was playing outside, however the arrival of the Time Machine caused young Buster to suffer 3 accidents, he was concussed when a brick he threw was bounced off a nearby tree cutting his forehead, then the Cyclone caused by the arrival of the Turdis sucked Buster out of an upstairs window, then the Turdis distracted Buster who was messing about with a clothes wringer causing him to crush his finger, which had to be amputated, after this Chris felt so guilty about what he had done to his favourite silent movie star, he travelled to 1938 to apologise to a now adult Buster Keaton, however he created permanent animosity between themselves after being overheard asking a film studio worker Do you know where Kit Kat Keaton is?
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
A young Chris Rea played PC Steve 'Spunky' Simmons in Z Cars, the bravest young copper in Merseyside.
Indeed, it was Rea that took Brian Blessed under his wing and Imbued within him a love of beards.
Indeed, it was Rea that took Brian Blessed under his wing and Imbued within him a love of beards.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Blessed has returned the favour over the years by pulling strings, and having words with casting directors to help Rea's acting career through some difficult times. Most notable was Rea's performance as "Fifth Hawkman" in Flash Gordon.
