True Facts About Chris Rea

[rogerzilla]

Chris Rea wears the same brand of string-backed driving gloves as Alan Partridge.

 

[DRM]

In other scientific news, it has today been revealed that Professor Chris Rea's work on cyborgs has been shown to be 100% successful after his lifetimes work won this years Tour De France effortlessly, his creation Tadej Pogacar has been declared the finished object, his previous attempt, Chris Froome was said to be 90% there but had a strange gait/position on the bike when cycling, that has been corrected in the latest model

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has a secret love child with Kamala Harris.

 

[Wixsteman]

Chris Rea doesn’t have a junk drawer

 

[Fergs]

Chris Rea always carries a small bottle of water from the river Tees with him. He’s a superstitious man and refuses to go on stage, even for a sound check, unless it’s been sprinkled with the water first.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea is currently racing the Trans Continental Race and hoping for a podium finish.

 

[Fergs]

Chris Rea frequently sprains his ankles by slipping on a wet stage

 

[Dogtrousers]

As a young man, Chris Rea dabbled in grave robbing. With judicious use of electricity from an Ever Ready battery he managed to bring a random assemblage of body parts to life. However, like his hero Victor Frankenstein, he ultimately regretted his actions and found that his creation, which he called "Sting" caused no end of trouble.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea designed the Boeing Starliner.

 

[Gwylan]

Chris Rea designed the Boeing Starliner.

Using only log tables and his protractor from o level maths.
It was all done in imaginary numbers

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea always stoops in public to hide his full height of 16 feet 9 inches; he is the front end of the human centipede 😧

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was considered for a part on EastEnders. The third Mitchell brother, Cedric, was to be a dandy walking round the square dressed like Peter Wyngarde and carrying out a campaign of violence against inappropriately parked cars. Rea made the final round of auditions but the part was ultimately awarded to a well spoken chap from Accrington.

 

[DRM]

In other breaking news a decades long legal wrangle has drawn to a close, we can exclusively reveal that Chris Rea has successfully taken Land Rover to court and eventually won the case after the theft of one of his tag lines, he was a guest a motivational speaker at the Solihull factories Xmas staff dinner in the late 70’s where he had told staff that “you only have one life, live it” this was stolen by upper management who claimed in court that they thought it up, and used it to sell vehicles, and on after market stickers, however Chris’ argument that he thought of the phrase after looking back on everything he achieved in life, the final true evidence of his deeds have at last been uncovered by a group of bicycle enthusiasts on the interweb, whose relentless searches and tireless recording of Chris Reas busy life, led Judge Robert Rinder to decide that a terrible misjustice had occurred, and that Mr Rea should be compensated, he therefore ordered that sum of money owed was so great that they might as well give Mr Rea the keys to the factory, as of August 1st all vehicles will be either Land Rea’s or Rea Rovers, with production eventually moving to Billingham, and a new engine and transmission plant at nearby Stokesley, there’s already discussion of a new luxury V8 Discoverea that will compete with the AMG Mercedes G-Wagen.

 

[teeonethousand]

In other breaking news a decades long legal wrangle has drawn to a close, we can exclusively reveal that Chris Rea has successfully taken Land Rover to court and eventually won the case after the theft of one of his tag lines, he was a guest a motivational speaker at the Solihull factories Xmas staff dinner in the late 70’s where he had told staff that “you only have one life, live it” this was stolen by upper management who claimed in court that they thought it up, and used it to sell vehicles, and on after market stickers, however Chris’ argument that he thought of the phrase after looking back on everything he achieved in life, the final true evidence of his deeds have at last been uncovered by a group of bicycle enthusiasts on the interweb, whose relentless searches and tireless recording of Chris Reas busy life, led Judge Robert Rinder to decide that a terrible misjustice had occurred, and that Mr Rea should be compensated, he therefore ordered that sum of money owed was so great that they might as well give Mr Rea the keys to the factory, as of August 1st all vehicles will be either Land Rea’s or Rea Rovers, with production eventually moving to Billingham, and a new engine and transmission plant at nearby Stokesley, there’s already discussion of a new luxury V8 Discoverea that will compete with the AMG Mercedes G-Wagen.

That’s when Chris Rea wrote the song Four Wheel Driving Home For Christmas.

 

[rogerzilla]

When touring, Chris Rea is dogged by a gang of shrieking middle-aged groupies calling themselves the Middlesbrough Milfs.