True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

In addition to his native Middlesborough dialect, Chris Rea can speak five languages fluently. Unfortunately no one else understands them.

 

[Wixsteman]

Chris Rea was once stuck up a creek without a paddle, as he never had a boat either he wasn’t that bothered

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea will be replacing Elvis for the next series of Wheeler Dealers.

 

[rogerzilla]

Chris Rea wears the same brand of string-backed driving gloves as Alan Partridge.

 

[DRM]

In other scientific news, it has today been revealed that Professor Chris Rea's work on cyborgs has been shown to be 100% successful after his lifetimes work won this years Tour De France effortlessly, his creation Tadej Pogacar has been declared the finished object, his previous attempt, Chris Froome was said to be 90% there but had a strange gait/position on the bike when cycling, that has been corrected in the latest model

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has a secret love child with Kamala Harris.

 

[Wixsteman]

Chris Rea doesn’t have a junk drawer

 

[Fergs]

Chris Rea always carries a small bottle of water from the river Tees with him. He’s a superstitious man and refuses to go on stage, even for a sound check, unless it’s been sprinkled with the water first.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea is currently racing the Trans Continental Race and hoping for a podium finish.

 

[Fergs]

Chris Rea frequently sprains his ankles by slipping on a wet stage

 

[Dogtrousers]

As a young man, Chris Rea dabbled in grave robbing. With judicious use of electricity from an Ever Ready battery he managed to bring a random assemblage of body parts to life. However, like his hero Victor Frankenstein, he ultimately regretted his actions and found that his creation, which he called "Sting" caused no end of trouble.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea designed the Boeing Starliner.

 

[Gwylan]

Chris Rea designed the Boeing Starliner.

Using only log tables and his protractor from o level maths.
It was all done in imaginary numbers

 

[lazybloke]

Chris Rea always stoops in public to hide his full height of 16 feet 9 inches; he is the front end of the human centipede 😧

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was considered for a part on EastEnders. The third Mitchell brother, Cedric, was to be a dandy walking round the square dressed like Peter Wyngarde and carrying out a campaign of violence against inappropriately parked cars. Rea made the final round of auditions but the part was ultimately awarded to a well spoken chap from Accrington.