Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea isn't really all powerful. He's just a bloke hiding behind a curtain
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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grldtnr
Über Member
It has been noted up thread about Chris Rea playing the part of Maria the twist being Maria is transgender sex change .
Chris does have some concerns about having to wear a pr of comedy prosthetic breasts, shaving his lustrous beard, and the necessary operation to remove his most treasured 'little' Willie, but he is well into his 80's , and the little fella isn't quite up to it these days.
Drago is down to play Rolf the telegram me boy, , he does so enjoy the dressing up in lederhosen.
Chris does have some concerns about having to wear a pr of comedy prosthetic breasts, shaving his lustrous beard, and the necessary operation to remove his most treasured 'little' Willie, but he is well into his 80's , and the little fella isn't quite up to it these days.
Drago is down to play Rolf the telegram me boy, , he does so enjoy the dressing up in lederhosen.
grldtnr
Über Member
Thats an untruth the 'Rea' is a powerful omnipotent one, his power and influence extend far and wide, much further than the binary star systems of Alpha Centuri 5 and far beyond.
Middlesbrough is not the centre of the universe, it's not even a fly turd on the soles of humanity, the power of Rea is infinitesimal.......the Rea doesn't even need a TURDIS to knock about , it's omnipotent , it's everywhere
.
( As long as that Orange Manbaby from the USA doesn't slap a tariff on the bearded omnipotent one)
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
It’s a gender-neutral rewrite, breaking the societal norms of female nuns and male naval officers-Rene Zellwegger is playing Captain Von Trappe- with the children of various races.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
True story, on a walking tour of Salzburg, the guide pointed out the view/direction the Von Trapps fled in, and then announced it led straight to Germany!!
Anyway back on track, Chris Rea is, with the backing of Hollywood, and in true Hollywood fashion doing a full remake of The Sound of Music, but set in an alternative time, where the Nazi's invaded Britain, and the story is moved to Middlesbrough, The Von Rea's employ a Nun as a nanny from the Sisters of The Order of The Greasy Parmo Convent, in central Middlesbrough, being musical the nun, Maria, fits in well, allowing the Von Rea Family to win a talent contest at Middlesbrough F.C's Riverside Stadium, they make their escape, whilst Chris' mate Paul Rodgers & his band, Bad Company are onstage, his other good mate, Roy "Chubby" Brown acts as a lookout, Chris Rea is working tirelessly to rewrite the songs,, and has written in the Time Transit for the families escape to the Freestate of North Yorkshire, via the Transporter Bridge, and sanctuary at Whitby Abbey, where they enjoy Fish & Chips to takeaway, with scraps and a pickled egg, from the Magpie Chippy.
The Film is set for nationwide release in autumn 2026.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is hoping Middlesbrough Council planning department give permission for an extension to the TURDIS as he is hoping to bring back a wooly mammoth.
grldtnr
Über Member
Can't wait ! Hopefully the Sarfend Odeon will still be running the seniors Tuesday cheapo matinée, ...... can't be doing paying full bob ,for what may be a crap movie.
I mean no reference to the Luxuriant beardy weirdly one, ....but every acting gig his had have been dross . perhaps this one will be different.
I don't hold much hope.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
When questioned by the council as to where he intended to keep the mammoth during the day, he said it would be tethered on the local grass verges, where it would quite happily eat all the overgrown grass, thereby saving the cost of mowing the grass for the council, Chris did say that if it pooped on the dual pedestrian/cycle path that pedestrians & cyclists would have to treat it as a roundabout, and give way to the right, the public would also be able to take some away, so that their garden plants would benefit too, Chris also hopes to take it to the beach in summer where it will give rides up and down the beach, whilst the attached ghetto blaster will have “On The Beach” playing on a loop, and that it will pull Santa’s sleigh around the local estates at Christmas, while the ghetto blaster plays “Driving Home For Xmas” Chris hopes that the donations and charging for rides will mean his new pet will be very economical to look after, pet plan have called in actuaries to work out the cost of the beasts pet insurance
lazybloke
Today i follow the flying spaghetti monster
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Happy birthday Chris Rea!
lazybloke
Today i follow the flying spaghetti monster
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Not to be outdone by Colossal Bioscience, Chris Rea fired up the time circuits and popped back 40,000 years to retrieve some wooly mammoths, with the idea using genetic engineering to breed a tiny version to keep as pets. Their little fluffy faces and tusks would be so much cuter than boring pet mice.
Arriving back in modern day Middlesbrough to unload the mammoths into a breeding enclosure (his garden shed), disaster struck: both mammoths bolted at the sight of a real mouse.
They were last seen rampaging through Billingham.
A 74 year old man is helping police with their enquiries.
Arriving back in modern day Middlesbrough to unload the mammoths into a breeding enclosure (his garden shed), disaster struck: both mammoths bolted at the sight of a real mouse.
They were last seen rampaging through Billingham.
A 74 year old man is helping police with their enquiries.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Happy 488th Birthday to the great beardmeister.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea has converted his beard to solar power
