True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

Chris Rea came second in a Chris Rea impersonator contest at Butlins in Minehead, on a stars of the seventies weekender

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea came second in a Chris Rea impersonator contest at Butlins in Minehead, on a stars of the seventies weekender

It was won by Chris de Burgh, who had turned up under the impression that he was headlining. They were both pretty depressed and went on a bit of a bender. One of the Chrises was sick all over the other one's coat, but nobody can remember which.

 

[grldtnr]

It was won by Chris de Burgh, who had turned up under the impression that he was headlining. They were both pretty depressed and went on a bit of a bender. One of the Chrises was sick all over the other one's coat, but nobody can remember which.

Hence why the de Burgh Chris sang about the lady in red, seeing the Rear Chris in his Redcoat Chris the Rea, thought the De Burgh had got him mixed up as a lady,and was trying it on, partly Rea's fault as he was wearing a huge pair comedy breasts at the time.
Being from Argentina the De Burgh one , figured she/ he was a tango dance partner, even if the beard didn't disuade him, a boot in the knadgers put an end to that idea

 

[grldtnr]

There's some street artist in Reading who's taping bananas to infrastructure on the streets, Chris doesn't want to copy the idea, but he started to nail Tomatoes to fences, , he is looking at other veg, courgettes ,carrots, , he might do the same with Herrings ,lamb chops , and steaks.
The added benefit is feeding the poor of the Tyne Tees area

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is immortal and can only be killed by the chopping off of his head.

 

[Dogtrousers]

There's some street artist in Reading who's taping bananas to infrastructure on the streets, Chris doesn't want to copy the idea, but he started to nail Tomatoes to fences, , he is looking at other veg, courgettes ,carrots, , he might do the same with Herrings ,lamb chops , and steaks.
The added benefit is feeding the poor of the Tyne Tees area

He's been criticised for nailing parsnips out of reach of the poor starving Teesside urchins.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea gave his mate Charles Dickens the inspiration for the character of Fagin, in the story of Oliver Twist,as he regularly goes back to Victorian London to collect the ill gotten gains from his gangs of feral street urchins,who pickpocket on his behalf, he brings a lot of the gold jewelry & pocket watches to antiques stores in the Accrington area, where pocket Watches seem to be particularly in vogue.

 

[Drago]

Chaim Topol played the part of Chris Rea in Fiddler on the Roof.

 

[DRM]

Chaim Topol played the part of Chris Rea in Fiddler on the Roof.

In the original script, Chris Rea got caught short, so it was very nearly "Piddler on the roof" luckily the Turdis was available to spare everyones blushes

 

[Drago]

Gary Glitter was originally signed to star in 'Fiddler' on the Roof, but his dislike of heights meant he couldn't continue filming. Thus, Chris Rea was signed to do the roof dancing scene.

 

[grldtnr]

In other 'movie' work, Chris was down to play Tony Manero, in 'Saturday night fever,' but no way was he going to get his knadgers into those tight white trousers, a prerequisite to singing those high notes, even if he had those good Italian stallion looks.
He tried hard , but he was a broken man ,he can only sing in his gravely tones.
Still his not done so bad.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's beard was the inspiration for the face-hugger in the Alien film franchise.

 

[lazybloke]

An alarming consequence of being exposed to auberge radiation is that molecules will slip into a parallel universe.

It's why Chris Rea was employed on the Baywatch wardrobe team; he had to use his wormhole-powered steam iron on Pamela's swimming costumes., with the result that they got smaller in every successive scene.

Time dilation was a secondary effect. To this day it looks like Pamela is moving in slow motion, even when she runs.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was the stuntman in the famous Tommy Lee and Pammy Anderson home video. The whoopee stick seen in the video actually belongs to Rea.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Losing out to Topol in his bid to star in Fiddler on the Roof inspired Chris Rea to create his own rival brand of smokers' tooth polish.