True Facts About Chris Rea

[grldtnr]

There's some street artist in Reading who's taping bananas to infrastructure on the streets, Chris doesn't want to copy the idea, but he started to nail Tomatoes to fences, , he is looking at other veg, courgettes ,carrots, , he might do the same with Herrings ,lamb chops , and steaks.
The added benefit is feeding the poor of the Tyne Tees area

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is immortal and can only be killed by the chopping off of his head.

 

[Dogtrousers]

There's some street artist in Reading who's taping bananas to infrastructure on the streets, Chris doesn't want to copy the idea, but he started to nail Tomatoes to fences, , he is looking at other veg, courgettes ,carrots, , he might do the same with Herrings ,lamb chops , and steaks.
The added benefit is feeding the poor of the Tyne Tees area

He's been criticised for nailing parsnips out of reach of the poor starving Teesside urchins.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea gave his mate Charles Dickens the inspiration for the character of Fagin, in the story of Oliver Twist,as he regularly goes back to Victorian London to collect the ill gotten gains from his gangs of feral street urchins,who pickpocket on his behalf, he brings a lot of the gold jewelry & pocket watches to antiques stores in the Accrington area, where pocket Watches seem to be particularly in vogue.

 

[Drago]

Chaim Topol played the part of Chris Rea in Fiddler on the Roof.

 

[DRM]

Chaim Topol played the part of Chris Rea in Fiddler on the Roof.

In the original script, Chris Rea got caught short, so it was very nearly "Piddler on the roof" luckily the Turdis was available to spare everyones blushes

 

[Drago]

Gary Glitter was originally signed to star in 'Fiddler' on the Roof, but his dislike of heights meant he couldn't continue filming. Thus, Chris Rea was signed to do the roof dancing scene.

 

[grldtnr]

In other 'movie' work, Chris was down to play Tony Manero, in 'Saturday night fever,' but no way was he going to get his knadgers into those tight white trousers, a prerequisite to singing those high notes, even if he had those good Italian stallion looks.
He tried hard , but he was a broken man ,he can only sing in his gravely tones.
Still his not done so bad.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's beard was the inspiration for the face-hugger in the Alien film franchise.

 

[lazybloke]

An alarming consequence of being exposed to auberge radiation is that molecules will slip into a parallel universe.

It's why Chris Rea was employed on the Baywatch wardrobe team; he had to use his wormhole-powered steam iron on Pamela's swimming costumes., with the result that they got smaller in every successive scene.

Time dilation was a secondary effect. To this day it looks like Pamela is moving in slow motion, even when she runs.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was the stuntman in the famous Tommy Lee and Pammy Anderson home video. The whoopee stick seen in the video actually belongs to Rea.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Losing out to Topol in his bid to star in Fiddler on the Roof inspired Chris Rea to create his own rival brand of smokers' tooth polish.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris did try for a career as a skater with the ' Holiday on ice' troupe, but a nasty slip on Skates ,whilst performing the splits, emasculated him, so in order to preserve his other 'Albert Hall' , he had to give up his ice dancing career.
Even now he shudders when offered a raspberry ripple ice cream !

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was due to appear in the original Shake N Vac advert, but got his beard caught in the vacuum cleaner during filming.

In addition, his gravelly rendition of the Shake N Vac song sounded enough like Lou Reed's Perfect Day that the producers were worried about having to pay royalties each time the ad aired.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea had high hopes that his appearance as "Alien No. 3" in the Smash adverts would invigorate his lacklustre acting career, but it was not to be.