True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

There is now a limited edition Guinness flavoured Chris Rea.

 

[Dogtrousers]

A mint condition Chris Rea action figure, in its original box, fetched £9.50 on eBay recently.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was all set to play the part of Chris Reawalker in Star Wars.

However, Rea refuse to shave his beard and early shots showed it very difficult for the audience to tell Reawalker and Chewbacc apart as a result.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea recently visited Haworth, West Yorkshire, in 1846, his shenanigans whilst there led to him being the inspiration for Heathcliff in Emily Bronte’s novel Wuthering Heights, he also took Bramwell Brontë to the pub, where he introduced him to the delights of laudanum, before leaving for home

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea played the werewolf in American Werewolf in London. Due to his luxuriant beard he required no make up or costume beyond a pair of fake fangs.

 

[Dogtrousers]

David Attenborough never met a gorilla in the jungle. It was all faked using a plastic gorilla that came free in a cereal box lodged in Chris Rea's beard, plus a bit of green-screen trickery.

 

[grldtnr]

David Attenborough never met a gorilla in the jungle. It was all faked using a plastic gorilla that came free in a cereal box lodged in Chris Rea's beard, plus a bit of green-screen trickery.

Oh ! That is a massive disappointment to me, I so wanted to believe Gorillas are really the gentle giants I always to believed them to be.
Your now telling me that scene was fake trickery, it was Chris with an extreme comb over of his lustrous beard all along.....
Another muth busted , I could take that Santa is a fake but not that cuddly scene on the slopes of Kilimanjaro

 

[Drago]

Geoff Capes was in fact Chris Rea, his limbs stretched and muscles swollen by long term exposure to Auberge Radiation.

 

[Moon bunny]

Chris Rea came into being when Miss. Penny Salter, teaching a class of infants, had them making pipe-cleaner people, which was an error of judgement during a lightning storm. There was a flash of lightning and the pipe-cleaner man young Peter Tyson had made came to life and ran off towards the cotton districts of Lancashire, where he ate cotton waste until he was the size of a real man,.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Chris Rea works in my local chippy, he makes a lovely crispy batter.

 

[stephec]

No ship has disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle for over 50 years, exactly the same length of time that turdis hasn't flown over that area.

Coincidence or not, you decide?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea tours the UK in a narrow boat. He claims it lets him get the best nights sleep ever without groupies finding him.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is the only man alive that knows Colonel Saunders' secret recipe.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Chris Rea isnthenomky man alive that knows Colonel Saunders' secret recipe.

Chris Rea created his own language, which only he and Drago fully understand.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea uses the TURDIS to cheat at Wordle.