True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Chris Rea, in a previous life, appeared in 'Crossroads' as Benny's long lost brother.

It's a little known fact that Benny's hat was knitted with hair recovered from Chris Rea's beard comb.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea dreads the arrival of spring, as warmer weather brings his piles out and the only way he can get relief is by walking backwards.

He could carve himself a butt plug of Root Ginger, for it's medicinal qualities, but we all know how strange Chris with matters of Sado- masochism.
It might make him wince a bit.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea did used to root Ginger, but one day Christian Horner came home early and caught them at it and Rea had to make a hasty escape sans trousers in the TURDIS.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea called Ian Botham a "gargantuan pie-eating nobhead" when he heard that he had lost out to Botham in his bid to appear in the Revitive adverts.

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/czdlgm2dq74o
Chris Rea has appeared over Hawaii in the Turdis, he went to see Elvis filming Blue Hawaii in 1961, as he was hoping to appear as an extra in a few scenes, however his return to the Teeesport Time Travel Megabase went wrong and the Turdis appeared over modern day Hawaii, where a huge Auberge field explosion caused the weather disruption described above, the Pineapple Express will be the second disaster he’s inflicted on California, as his recent appearance there, along with an Auberge field explosion set fire to a forest, hopefully the rain will damp down the fires

 

[Grant Fondo]

Chris Rea and Phil Collins haven't spoken since 1975 due to the fact Phil's brother, Lewis replaced Chris during rehersals for The Cuckoo Waltz.

 

[Drago]

Lewis Collins once mistook Chri Rea for a terrorist, prompting the famous TV hard man to leap across the bonnet of his Capri and karate chop Rea in the throat. This is how Rea cam by his distinctive gravelly tones.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea called Ian Botham a "gargantuan pie-eating nobhead" when he heard that he had lost out to Botham in his bid to appear in the Revitive adverts.

He might be right, he will only find out when he meets Ian .

 

[grldtnr]

Chris tried ' buttering ' his crumpets with ' I can't believe it's not butter'
He didn't think so either, that's believe it's not butter.
' I prefer Stork SB ' he said as bunged another pr of crumpets into the Auberge field powered toaster, and topped them with cheese & marmite

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris tried ' buttering ' his crumpets with ' I can't believe it's not butter'
He didn't think so either, that's believe it's not butter.
' I prefer Stork SB ' he said as bunged another pr of crumpets into the Auberge field powered toaster, and topped them with cheese & marmite

That was when he penned the song "Fool if you think it's Clover" wasn't it?

 

[grldtnr]

That was when he penned the song "Fool if you thnk it's Clove4

That was when he penned the song "Fool if you think it's Clover" wasn't it?

Yes that's true,and still does ,after all these years!
He has run-through the whole gamut of fake dairy spreads, which is why they have those foil tops on the packs, so that you can't see his foot prints in the packs, but he still thinks Stork SB , is the best
He even got Leslie Crowthers tacit approval to say Ye to Stork SB!

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has penned a new theme song on behalf of the Port of Liverpool tourist board.

Fool if You Think it's Dover was well received by board's directors.

 

[DRM]

Chris tried ' buttering ' his crumpets with ' I can't believe it's not butter'
He didn't think so either, that's believe it's not butter.
' I prefer Stork SB ' he said as bunged another pr of crumpets into the Auberge field powered toaster, and topped them with cheese & marmite

View: https://youtu.be/E9pW6PwEayQ?si=nOBA6CIqsI2jOo7r

Chris Rea hated "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" so much, he commissioned a lady to choreograph a dance routine in a pile of the stuff, to show his complete disdain for the vile product

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea's beard is always aligned with rising sun on the day of the vernal equinox.

 

[lazybloke]

View: https://youtu.be/E9pW6PwEayQ?si=nOBA6CIqsI2jOo7r

Chris Rea hated "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" so much, he commissioned a lady to choreograph a dance routine in a pile of the stuff, to show his complete disdain for the vile product

Erm....

Strangely compelling, but i'm not sure i want to see any more of your bookmarks.