True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
He has since gone back on his Newcastle Brown Ale tariffs since he found out it's now brewed in Tadcaster, North Yorkshire, he still believes Middlesbrough is in North Yorkshire, as it was pre 1974, and making it so is part of his MMBA plans, (Make Middlesbrough Brilliant Again)
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea is missing following a collision between the TURDIS and a Blackhawk helicopter that was racing to deliver 200 gallons of diet coke and a bevy of porn actress to the White House.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
It's a little known fact that Chris Rea provided the inspiration for Peter Gabriels first solo hit, Solsbury Hill, after leaving Genesis, Peter was at a loose end, so Chris Rea took him to see his home city of Bath during Roman times, as they explored Aqua Sulis, they decided a trip to the Roman Baths was in order, however due to a misunderstanding involving a Centurion, 2 Roman ladies, and a sponge on a stick, they had to do a runner, Chris set the controls for modern day Bath, but Peter Gabriel wasn't in The Turdis, and had to hide on top of Solsbury Hill that overlooks Bath, luckily Chris Rea went back to Roman Bath to rescue Peter Gabriel in the Turdis, which as we know is built out of a PlasLavs Eagle Mk2 loo, the rest is history, the lyrics describe Peter Gabriel's rescue perfectly.
Lyrics
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
I had to listen, had no choice
I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart going "Boom-boom-boom"
"Son, " he said
"Grab your things, I've come to take you home"
Hey, back home
To keep in silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Though my life was in a rut
'Til I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going "Boom-boom-boom"
"Hey, " he said
"Grab your things, I've come to take you home"
Hey, back home
When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I wanna be
And liberty, she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going "Boom-boom-boom"
"Hey, " I said
"You can keep my things, they've come to take me home"
View: https://youtu.be/_OO2PuGz-H8?si=D9je4sB-ulrFr69T
Lyrics
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
I had to listen, had no choice
I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart going "Boom-boom-boom"
"Son, " he said
"Grab your things, I've come to take you home"
Hey, back home
To keep in silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Though my life was in a rut
'Til I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going "Boom-boom-boom"
"Hey, " he said
"Grab your things, I've come to take you home"
Hey, back home
When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I wanna be
And liberty, she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me
Today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going "Boom-boom-boom"
"Hey, " I said
"You can keep my things, they've come to take me home"
View: https://youtu.be/_OO2PuGz-H8?si=D9je4sB-ulrFr69T
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Peter Gabriel leases his beard from Chris Rea on a PCP plan.
£2000 Up front, £500 a months over 3 years, and an option to walk away or buy the beard for a final balloon payment of £50,000.
There are serious mileage and damage penalties, and Gabriel has to pay for all trimming, combing and conditioner.
£2000 Up front, £500 a months over 3 years, and an option to walk away or buy the beard for a final balloon payment of £50,000.
There are serious mileage and damage penalties, and Gabriel has to pay for all trimming, combing and conditioner.
Last edited:
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Madonna has Chris Rea's face tattooed on her arse
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OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Vikings fitted horns upon their helmets to prevent Chris Rea landing on their head and stealing stealing beards.
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris Rea has been found living with Cleopatra, who was enchanted by his accent and strange ways. He is hoping to get the Turdis fixed soon. At least this is what experts explain the recently unearthed hieroglyphs say.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea has Madonna's arse tattooed on his face. He kind of regrets this now, and covers it up with his beard.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Gerry Adams has a sideline working as a Chris Rea impersonator, so he does.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea knits his own underwear.
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
