True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

Ant and Dec are actually clones of Chris Rea created in a makeshift Tyneside laboratory by Professor Jimmy Nail. Obviously this was early experimental work and mistakes were made. A mix up with baboon DNA caused one of them to have a baboon's bottom in place of a forehead.

 

[Drago]

Famous beard wearer, Fidel Castro, modeled his look on his hero, Chris Rea.

Castro later went on to found Castrol.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea can walk up walls and across ceilings just like a spider, but like spiders he cannot get out of a bath on his own.
Why or how is unknown, but it inspired the song by Lionel Ritchie ,Dancing on the Ceiling !

 

[Drago]

The film, The Fly, is based on an unfortunate incident that occur when Chris Rea gave Jeff Goldlum a lift in the TURDIS.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea’s Turdis developed a new fault last week, accidentally appearing over the Baltic Sea instead of the Teesport Time Travel Megabase, the Auberge field concentrated itself into a laser like beam, which just happened to cut a fibre optic cable between Finland and Germany, causing a huge internet outage, in both countries, many Germans were utterly furious that they couldn’t order Bratwurst mit Fries from Iss Einfach (Just Eat) luckily Chris got out of their sharpish and told Middlesbrough Live that Putin was responsible

 

[grldtnr]

Just an aside ,have we still 'broken ' t' interweb with this thread?
If we have , I blame Chris Rea.

 

[Drago]

Just an aside ,have we still 'broken ' t' interweb with this thread?

Yep, we're consistently first in the search after Reapedia.

 

[lazybloke]

The film, The Fly, is based on an unfortunate incident that occur when Chris Rea gave Jeff Goldlum a lift in the TURDIS.

Another hint of Chris Rea's influence is the remake that appeared 28 years earlier.

 

[grldtnr]

We are at 138 page count Accy Cellist Dress thread, ( which he nicked of someone else, by the by) is 152 pages.
Let's hope Chris Rea foils Accy's plan for Cordings clobber to fill every cupboard and drawer space before that Dandy starts buying his spring collection.
I've written before how Chris intercepts all Accys' Cordings' clobber wears it to muck out the pigs, then neatly re-packs it and whizzes to Accrington to leave it behind his dustbin, like in the finest Evri courier style,
So far Accy hadn't twigged this little time travel wrinkle of Reas' but you won't find Chris cleaning sty's in His own a camel hair coat.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea is innocent.

 

[TheDoctor]

Chris Rea is inna tent

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea is innocent.

Chris Rea will be innocent when he goes back in time and arranges an alibi

 

[craigwend]

In the late 1970's Chris Rea drew up the first plans for The Large Hardon Collider, however the highly (at the time) influential Mary Whitehouse objected and history took a different turn...

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea is innocent.

Innocent of what?
I put it to you ,m'lud, he is guilty of nefarious crimes of this Shire ,several border towns, and that little bit stuck out in the North Sea called the Faroe Islands, he may plead innocent and blame it all on Simon's Cat, but he is as guilty as the road to Hell.....
.

 

[Drago]

Paul Whitehouse was emasculated during a collision with Chris Rea who has enjoying a drunken ride home in a supermarket trolley.

Rea, ever the gentleman, paid for a few nips and tucks and Paul came Mary Whitehouse. However, Whitehouse remained bitter and as he could no longer enjoy a bit of a legover became determined no one else should be able to watch and smut on TV.