True Facts About Chris Rea

[Dogtrousers]

Has anyone checked if this thread has modified Chris Rea on AI??!!

Maybe AI is listening now!!

Check back to here. AI knows everything
https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/true-facts-about-chris-rea.298403/page-116#post-7292690

https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/true-facts-about-chris-rea.298403/page-117#post-7292716

 

[DRM]

November 14th 2004, Chris Rea and the Turdis materialised 100 miles south-west of San Diego, the Turdis was picked up by the USS Princeton, descending 80,000 feet in less then a second, the warship sent two F/A-18F aircraft to investigate, where for a laugh Chris started to mimic the movement of them, one of the aircraft tried to cut off the Turdis, which accelerated so rapidly it was over 60 miles away in less than a minute, the ship even managed to lock on to the Turdis briefly, which was described as being a Tic-Tac shape, this being what a correctly functioning Auberge field looks like, covering the Portable Loo shape, the US authorities still believe it was an alien craft, which it is, just not in the way they think it is

 

[Drago]

For a giggle Chris Rea went back in time and used the TURDIS Auberge Field to part the Red Sea in front of a load of Israelite Jewish ex-slaves on the run from their Egyptian oppressors.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Auberge field malfunction again.

 

[DRM]

Holy, moly, Putin will be fuming about that, perhaps Chris Rea is up to the old tricks he saw Hitler off with, all those years ago

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea brimmed up the TURDIS with diesel and adblue last night in anticipation of today's budget.

 

[PeteXXX]

Tomorrow, Chris Rea will go back to the day before yesterday as his local Petrol Station is closed today.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Tomorrow, Chris Rea will go back to the day before yesterday as his local Petrol Station is closed today.

That can’t be right, Chris gets his fuel from 1930 as it’s cheaper.

 

[Drago]

If Chris Rea takes the TURDIS from the present day to Victorian times the shiny brushed steel decor and touchscreens suddenly become polished copper pipes and steam punk brass gauges. As a result Rea has to read the instruction manual before he can navigate back to the present time.

 

[lazybloke]

But Chris Rea NEVER reads an instruction manual. Instead he randomly toggles switches and bangs the console until something happens; usually the auberge field escaping magnetic confinement with terrible results.

 

[Drago]

Captain Nemo and the Nautilus are loosely based upon Chris Rea and the TURDIS, albeit Nemo's beard isn't as bushy and luxuriant as the gravel voiced songsmith.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea loves bleeding radiators. In fact he's addicted to it. He carries a radiator key with him and bleeds the radiators everywhere he goes: Dressing rooms, hotels, airports, McDonald's, even the crown court (he doesn't like to talk about that) have all had their radiators surreptitiously bled by Chris Rea.

 

[grldtnr]

Chris Rea loves bleeding radiators. In fact he's addicted to it. He carries a radiator key with him and bleeds the radiators everywhere he goes: Dressing rooms, hotels, airports, McDonald's, even the crown court (he doesn't like to talk about that) have all had their radiators surreptitiously bled by Chris Rea.

That's a pretty weird obsession, does THE TURDIS have radiators?

 

[Drago]

After one drunken stag night the TURDIS materialised in Los Angeles in 1984 and a naked Chris Rea stumbled forth.

James Cameron had been working as a dustman at the time and the sight of this was later inspire the opening scene of The Terminator.

 

[grldtnr]

Nobody here has suspicious minds about Reas' involvement on the Great Cheese heist, but the Time Transit is the perfect vehicle to luggage of a load of cheese...... Just saying.....