True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

Klingon proverb says revenge is a dish best served cold.

But all meals are served cold in Chris Rea's hose since stray Auberge emissions from the TURDIS ruined his microwave.

 

[DRM]

Another glitch on the Turdis time controls sent Chris Rea back 4 million years ago, he went for a walk to see what interesting things he could find, he didn’t think there was a need to lock the Turdis up, and a group of Australopithecus got in to the Turdis and hid, Chris thought that it was boring at the location so decided to come home, this is when the visitors made their presence known, so quick as a flash he diverted to the forests of the USA, and kicked them out, of course the Australopithecus bred and are now mistaken for Bigfoot, some of them intend to vote for Donald Trump too!

 

[Dogtrousers]

For years Chris Rea thought he had discovered String Theory. It was only when he discussed it with Stephen Hawking that he found out that macrame was already a thing.

Actually I think you'll find that Chris Rea came up with Sting theory

 

[grldtnr]

Actually I think you'll find that Chris Rea came up with Sting theory

Nah, that was Gordon Sumner.....

 

[fritz katzenjammer]

Chris Rea is Canadian.

 

[Drago]

Christopher Columbus had seen the TURDIS parked up unattended in a dogging lay by, and curiosity led him to step inside.

Chris Rea is notoriously untidy and had left a load of maps on the console, and Columbus pinched what turned out to be the AAA road atlas of America.

Columbus used this map to "discover" America, and used the money he earned from the voyage to set himself up in business making light weight bicycle frame tubing.

 

[grldtnr]

Christopher Columbus had seen the TURDIS parked up unattended in a dogging lay by, and curiosity led him to step inside.

Chris Rea is notoriously untidy and had left a load of maps on the console, and Columbus pinched what turned out to be the AAA road atlas of America.

Columbus used this map to "discover" America, and used the money he earned from the voyage to set himself up in business making light weight bicycle frame tubing.

What kind of dog has Chris Rea got?
Is a big & 'Shaggy'.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea has never had an unexpected item in his bagging area.

 

[DRM]

After the Australopithecus incident Chris Rea decided he needed a holiday, so he set off in the Turdis for Jamaica in 1968, for sun, sand and sea, it was here during a chance meeting with Frederick Toots Hibbert that after a few rums and discussing music, that he let slip what he had just done, this provided the inspiration for Toots Hibbert to write the Maytels hit record Monkey Man

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea recently discovered his long lost Uncle in Uganda recently died and left him £5 million. Hes paie the 100k clearing deposit and is just awaiting the cash.

 

[grldtnr]

I am a Nigerian Prince, that's got into a tangle with a financial deal, ,please to give me Chris Rea Contact Details,and I can make him a deal that will be beneficial to both of us.
Be Assured there is an enormous amount of riches, being held by an American bank, ( Trump Orange bank industries Inc.corp )

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea has detected fraud in your bank account and asks you to transfer all your money to another account in his name for safe keeping.

 

[grldtnr]

That ok with you Dougal?

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea knocks on folks door pretending to be a reformed ex con selling dusters, but in reality he's casing the joint with a view to returning and building your house and stealing your porn stash.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chris Rea is the only human who can successfully perform the Vulcan Death Grip.

Unfortunately he got caught doing it at Durdle Door and is now banned from Dorset.