True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Unlike Chris Rea, I am a bit of a slapper but much prefer to finger or pick at it.
Rea likes a nice easy slide.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Chris Rea is thinking of doing a Tour, supported by a couple of bands.
To be honest, he's a tad worried, it may be one step beyond, as it will mean going down to Georgia, you know, lookin' for a soul to steal.
His Agent thinks it's madness working with the Charlie Daniels band.
To be honest, he's a tad worried, it may be one step beyond, as it will mean going down to Georgia, you know, lookin' for a soul to steal.
His Agent thinks it's madness working with the Charlie Daniels band.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea started his career working for Paul Daniels and using the TURDIS to make stuff disappear.
Sadly Rea was sacked after making Debbie McGees clothing disappear, whereupon he threw his naked body across her to hide her modesty and keep her from getting a chill. At least that's what he told the tribunal.
Sadly Rea was sacked after making Debbie McGees clothing disappear, whereupon he threw his naked body across her to hide her modesty and keep her from getting a chill. At least that's what he told the tribunal.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Don’t we all
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
During the Falklands War of 1982, Chris Rea proposed a scheme to the UK government that he would retaliate by using the TURSIS to invade Argentiana with an army formed by the members of Haircut 100 and Tenpole Tudor.
The idea was rejected through the fear that inflicting such talentless eejuts on the Argentinians would be considered a war crime by the UN, regardless of how much they might deserve it.
The idea was rejected through the fear that inflicting such talentless eejuts on the Argentinians would be considered a war crime by the UN, regardless of how much they might deserve it.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea’s unsung work in WW2 to make Adolf Hitler suffer a full and complete nervous and mental breakdown, has recently come to light in another leaked document, in his guise of General-Major Kristoff Von Rea, did he tell Adolf that a small moustache just as wide as his nose was the height of fashion, he went back to early 1939 so he could keep interfering with the development of the Messerschmitt Me 262 jet aircraft, his personal recommendations direct to Hitler held up development to an unbelievable degree, however Hitler eventually ordered that German engineers got on with building them, but allied bombers caused huge damage to the various factories, so Chris told Adolf they need to build a bombproof factory, why not hollow out a mountain to build them in, which is what Adolf did, the work required was huge, he also told Adolf to turn it into a fighter bomber knowIng that strapping 2 bombs under it would wreck aerodynamics & the top speed, this lead to a huge row between Adolf and the test pilot, then when they had eventually managed to build some aircraft it dawned on the factory bosses there was no runway to send the aircraft on their way, so in best Baldrick fashion Kristoff Von Rea told Adolf I have a cunning plan Mein Fuhrer, why not put a runway on top of the mountain, Hitler thought this was a genius idea, and ordered a runway be built on top of the mountain, then Chris suggested building a type of funicular railway/ramp contraption to get the planes up to the runway, Hitler never realised that even when all this work was done, the planes, whilst able to take off, couldn’t land there in the event of a fault as it wasn’t long enough to land on, and only just long enough to allow take off, what with all the hold ups the new mountain factory couldn’t produce aircraft fast enough, so Chris suggested another site, and they could build huge concrete tunnels, by using huge gravel heaps as a mould, then moving the gravel forward, and doing the same again, by the time this new site was finished the war in Europe was over, so nothing got built there, some Me 262’s did get built but nowhere near enough to really make a difference, when Chris went back to see Winston Churchill for a debrief with a full report, Winston Churchill didn’t stop laughing for nearly 10 days, at how gullible Hitler was, in his final coup de grace, Chris Rea bravely went back to Berlin April 30th 1945, he went to the Fuhrer bunker, and when his private secretary told Adolf that General-Major Kristoff Von Rea was here with a cunning plan to turn the tide of the war, Hitler just got his gun and shot himself, as in the words of Popeye, he’d stood all he can stands and he Can’t stands no more
Last edited:
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea and the TURDIS are to appear in the next series of George Clarke's Amazing Spaces.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Chris Rea considers Adam West to have been the only true Batman
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Its official. We have broken ChatGPT!
You're right! Chris Rea's time machine is humorously called the "TURDIS." It's a play on words, referencing the "TARDIS" from Doctor Who. The TURDIS appears in his music videos and reflects his quirky sense of humor.
You're right! Chris Rea's time machine is humorously called the "TURDIS." It's a play on words, referencing the "TARDIS" from Doctor Who. The TURDIS appears in his music videos and reflects his quirky sense of humor.
grldtnr
Über Member
If we bust it ,can we carry on,
Suggest a title 'Carry on Turdis'. Sort of remake of carry on at your convenience......
Drags' is a dead cert for Bernard Bresslaw, seeing as big Bernie is dead, mind you Drags' isn't looking too chipper himself.
Should we cast Accy Cyclist, as he hasn't responded much to this thread, although we've tried to drag him in......
Suggest a title 'Carry on Turdis'. Sort of remake of carry on at your convenience......
Drags' is a dead cert for Bernard Bresslaw, seeing as big Bernie is dead, mind you Drags' isn't looking too chipper himself.
Should we cast Accy Cyclist, as he hasn't responded much to this thread, although we've tried to drag him in......
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
I could see Accy in the Sid James role.
