Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
Chris Rea was the “something nasty in the woodshed” Ada Doom saw in Cold Comfort Farm.
True Facts About Chris Rea
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
At least it didn’t appear in your garden!
grldtnr
Über Member
....also a renowned beer chugger, but strangely not ' Newkie Broon'
Hark ! What's that strange rumbling whooshing noise, then comes the after Auberge field dump, .....hope you have a hose pipe handy
grldtnr
Über Member
Actually ,that's very disturbing! Have we rent the space time continuum, or is it Chris for Rea....
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Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
Chris is currently meeting with Queen Victoria. He has deployed the lizard circuit to blend in.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
July 20th 1944, the Turdis appeared over Hitlers Wolfs Lair, he even managed to see the Herr Hitler go into the building for a meeting this was when the Turdis gave off a huge auberge field explosion that shook the building to it’s core, Hitler received minor injuries that were officially blamed on an assassination attempt, yet Chris has managed to make Hitler even more of a nervous wreck, and give him another three stomach ulcers, another victory for the Turdis!
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
In 1968 a drunken Chris Rea flew the TURDIS at speed under Tower Bridge in response to a bet from Richard Harris. The government, keen to cover up knowledgemof the mysterious craft, blamed it on a rebellious young RAF pilot in a Hawker Hunter.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
When working for the family ice cream business, Chris Rea regularly chilled the ice cream to below zero Kelvin, simply by being cool and looking at it.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Chris Rea taught Eddy Merckx how to ride a bike.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea's TURDIS was valued on the antiques roadshow at £285, although Rea said he'd never sell it.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Chris Rea has recently traveled back to late 1950’s Vietnam, where he has come up with a cunning plan to earn money to fund his time travels, he opened the Viet-Cong tactical clothing, & Army and Navy Stores, where he was the sole suppliers of black pyjama style clothing, cunningly placed on the Ho Chi Minh Trail, he also, with use of make up and his goatee beard, which made him look like Ho Chi Minh, made some advertising posters to be placed at strategic positions on the Ho Chi Minh Trail where he instructed recruits that they must buy their kit at his store, he was making money hand over fist selling his equipment, which he sold for nearly 11 years until until Ho Chi Minh himself put a stop to it, so on 18th December 1972 he flew the Turdis over Hanoi, to see if he could see what was going on there, and ask Ho if they could strike a deal to keep his shop open, this is when a massive auberge field explosion destroyed 2000 homes, leaving just a pile of rubble, in another twist of fate the US air force got the blame for it, and Chris decided to call it a draw and go home, due to another twist he didn’t realise that Ho Chi Minh actually died in 1969, so he couldn’t have done any negotiating anyway
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Chris Rea had been visiting WWII America as part of his history studies when a fault with the TURDIS grounded him.
Unable to get the correct components, Rea had to improvise using radio valves. This worked, but the TURDIS was was spitting Auberge Radiation all over the place and was very difficult to control.
Rea steered the craft over the New Mexico desert while he made the necessary calibrations when the flux capacitor gave one final massive crack of Auberge Radiation before settling down.
The mysteriously devastated site was named Trinity and Rea fans to this day take the annual pilgrimage along the road to hell to visit.
Unable to get the correct components, Rea had to improvise using radio valves. This worked, but the TURDIS was was spitting Auberge Radiation all over the place and was very difficult to control.
Rea steered the craft over the New Mexico desert while he made the necessary calibrations when the flux capacitor gave one final massive crack of Auberge Radiation before settling down.
The mysteriously devastated site was named Trinity and Rea fans to this day take the annual pilgrimage along the road to hell to visit.
