Things you'd like to say, but can't

[ianrauk]

Shall I squeeze it's head for you Madam?

 

[slowwww]

By all means continue to ignore my requests [for 3 months] for you to come in and rectify the error you made in installation when, rather than doing it properly (and as specified), you 'bodged' it assuming that I'd never notice it because it was behind a (removable) panel.

You said you were too busy to return to do it, mentioning all the new work you're taking on. Well, you might just find that you've got more time on your hands than you thought as I've spoken to a couple of these future clients and told them what a shower of sh!te you are.

 

[Arch]

So, you arrived for work 22 minutes late, and said "sorry, the kitchen clock is 5 minutes slow". How do you account for the other 17 minutes?

 

[ColinJ]

So, you arrived for work 22 minutes late, and said "sorry, the kitchen clock is 5 minutes slow". How do you account for the other 17 minutes?

Missed the bus/train which left 4 minutes before he/she got there?

 

[TVC]

If you are so proud of Yorkshire, and think that there is something about the place that makes it better than anywhere else, how come you don't live there?

I grew up in Yorkshire, but I don't bang on about it like it's a bloody badge of honour that makes me better than anyone else.

 

[alicat]

If you are so proud of Yorkshire, and think that there is something about the place that makes it better than anywhere else, how come you don't live there?

Because Yorkshire is a good place to come from.

 

[TVC]

Because Yorkshire is a good place to leave.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

You should never ask a man if he is from Yorkshire.

If he is, he'll already have told you.

If he isn't, well, why embarrass the chap further?

 

[jhawk]

You can't seriously be that bloody stupid! (She did ask, "How do you say "Happy Birthday" in Europe?"...

 

[Spinney]

You can't seriously be that bloody stupid! (She did ask, "How do you say "Happy Birthday" in Europe?"...

Not all of Europe speaks English!
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag
feliz cumpleaños
buon compleanno
gratulerer med dagen
gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag
...

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Not all of Europe speaks English!
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag
feliz cumpleaños
buon compleanno
gratulerer med dagen
gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag
...

Yes, but 'Europe' is a bit of a loose term, she would need to be more specific!

 

[welsh dragon]

I thought you just shouted louder Happy birthday.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I thought you just shouted louder Happy birthday.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

And if they still don't get it, start singing 'Happy Birthday' loudly and probably rather badly.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

And if they still don't get it, start singing 'Happy Birthday' loudly and probably rather badly.

...... At which point you realise that they are in fact British tourists who have been wondering if it has all been some sort of quaint local custom.