Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Joey Shabadoo]

Yes!!! Ya beauty! Ya dancer! This is bloody brilliant! 5 bloody years I've been doing my nut in without anybody noticing and finally, finally I win Salesman of the Year. GIRUY you soor-faced trollopes that did nothing but bitch and whine, I've won! I'm Top Dog, Numero Uno, the best in the company.

Of course I just blushed and said "Um thanks" instead

 

[152l2]

Yes, i am sure you used to be fit and brilliant at all sports. Now you are just obese, boring and lazy. We both have to share this small office so please stop "chain eating" crisps in my ear. I am sure that your average of 8 packs a day is not good for you or your dibetes. Only five packs to go as you are now on your third since i started writing this !!!!! GRRRRRR

 

[GrumpyGregry]

No. If you want that other team on "your" floor in the new building you pick the people from your current teams that get to work in the basement instead to make room for your new bezzie mates, and you tell 'em, and tell 'em why, not me.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

You left your laptop on the train. The one we gave you to replace the one you dropped and smashed. Which was a replacement for the one you packed as hold baggage and which 'disappeared' when you flew back from some regional airport in sub-Saharan Africa. That one? Left on a train? Yes? How is that my problem?

 

[Lanzecki]

You left your laptop on the train. The one we gave you to replace the one you dropped and smashed. Which was a replacement for the one you packed as hold baggage and which 'disappeared' when you flew back from some regional airport in sub-Saharan Africa. That one? Left on a train? Yes? How is that my problem?

Remind me of the time I was contracting for a company replacing the clients laptops. A user get's his new laptop at 4:30. I see him at 5pm slip going out of the building. 10 mins later "Can I have another?"

 

[Melonfish]

If you can't be bothered to manage your mailbox i'm not going to increase it. nuff said.
if your bin gets full do you empty it or ask your landlord for a bigger bin?

stop being a lazy sob and sort out your e-mail, you DO have time you just won't make it.

 

[pplpilot]

27 sq meters?? How the feck did you arrive at 27? The room measures 1.9m sq x 2.2m floor to ceiling, in my head that's only what 17'ish without taking the full width window aperture and door into consideration, then there's the room the bath takes up so being generous there is about 12 at an estimate, 27! call yourself a tiler! who taught you your trade, Its a small bathroom not a fecking tardis, get out of my house...

 

[Arch]

If you can't be bothered to manage your mailbox i'm not going to increase it. nuff said.
if your bin gets full do you empty it or ask your landlord for a bigger bin?

You'd be surprised (or maybe you wouldn't) how often we get requests for an additional recycling box for more space, from a household whose recycling box is actually half full of the non-recyclable crap we've left behind week after week.

 

[Melonfish]

"Yes" is not an acceptable answer when asked; "is this account for remedy X or Remedy Y"
if you answer with "yes" to a multiple choice question i will instead imagine i've just asked you if you are in fact simple.
this is my coping mechanism, the other alternative is to strangle you with your own entrails and use your laptop as a tombstone, here lies the user gone and thankfully forgotten.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

If you can't be bothered to manage your mailbox i'm not going to increase it. nuff said.
if your bin gets full do you empty it or ask your landlord for a bigger bin?

stop being a lazy sob and sort out your e-mail, you DO have time you just won't make it.

I am far too important and thus far too busy chopping down trees to waste time sharpening my axe.

 

[Speicher]

If that is your attitude, then this is my attitude.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

You really are so tedious, I see you still haven't worked out why nobody bothers with you anymore. Cutting and pasting 'witty' quotes from the internet shows no original thought.

 

[surfdude]

can i give them a little squeeze

 

[welsh dragon]

can i give them a little squeeze

 

[152l2]

Did you brush your teeth this morning? I dont think you did. So glad you are now sitting next to me for the next 8 hours.