Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Arch]

You're too loud and too common and you're spoiling my evening

I want to beat you until you are very very dead

I often think that - well, the beating bit, the trigger varies....

While I'm in a ranty mood, an observation addressed to various households across the city:

When we ask you to flatten cardboard boxes, how is it that some of you manage to 'flatten' something like a pizza box, and in the process, make it less flat than it was before? (for some reason, they think rolling it up is good idea)

Oh, and <sings in Noel Coward voice> "Don't fill your catfood tins with foil, Mrs Worthington..."

(coz we have to separate foil (ali) from food tins (steel))

 

[flatflr]

I am a customer I am going to spend money here, do not walk pass me and deliberately not make eye conact with me you fricken idiot.

I felt that a while ago and went and found the store manager and told him so. I ended up going somewhere else, and got a better deal

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

You LIKED Margaret Thatcher?.

Seriously, are you retarded or something?

 

[TheDoctor]

Well, that's going to make me feel so much better!

 

[Biscuit]

Please don't pop round with that and waste another 4 hours of my life. I can fix it over the phone.

 

[EltonFrog]

To Mad Doug Biker.


...and you are?

 

[TVC]

Well done, you've hired another 18 year old no hoper who stays up all night smoking weed, and spends all day handing out a bad attitude. There are plenty of guys in their 20s and 30s out there with a real want to work, and some experience of grafting and getting on with people, but you would have to pay them 20p an hour more.

And also, thanks for making him my problem.

Well done, you finally decided to sack him. When it comes to recruiting his replacement, please bear in mind you are a terrible judge of character.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

To Mad Doug Biker.


...and you are?

To CarlP ...... and your problem is what exactly?

 

[EltonFrog]

To CarlP ...... and your problem is what exactly?

and you are?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

and you are?

Douglas Third. Why do you ask?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

C'mon Carl, spit it out, what do you want to know? What do you not understand/get about me?

 

[Lanzecki]

No, the server will never become faster.

Every day for 1.5 years - Every single damned day - you've rung me or called me into your office and sworn, and yelled, and kicked furniture, and made it my fault that you work late (which is a lie as you leave 5 minutes after me), that your children don't see you, that you treat your family like s***.

The problem is the software. It's written using old methods, in an old language, and it doesn't work right. It is a compromise from the start.
But the author won't change it as they're making thousands a day from it and don't give a toss. They told you that to your face. But you don't care because you hired me as a whipping boy to take the blame instead.

You've only been nice because I can do the accountant job as well as IT. When the new lady starts in accounts you'll talk too me like s*** again.

I'm looking for another job. Shut your foul little mouth.

Insurance brokers by any chance?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Insurance brokers by any chance?

Double glazing manufacturer.

 

[Lanzecki]

OK, So it's not just me then. I read that post you made and had to double check that I'm not posting in my sleep

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Are you aware I could legitimately report you to our Safety reps as an OH&S violation, given that you're a real fire risk? Please consider using an amount of aftershave/perfume that could not be considered an exercise in marinating yourself. If your body odour's really that bad, then wash more often. Alternatively, just go out the back and light up a cigarette, and I'll try not to flinch when the 'boom' sounds.