D
Deleted member 20519
Guest
There's a lot of evil in this thread 
Is it bad that I'm enjoying it?
Is it bad that I'm enjoying it?
Things you'd like to say, but can't
- Thread starter Stig-OT-Dump
- Start date
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subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
Dear HR I am leaving as your project directors have people management skills that ghengis khan would think poor.
when what i will say is
I regretfully tender my resignation
when what i will say is
I regretfully tender my resignation
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
Yes, I'd be delighted to meet up with the two of you for a meal.
I'll be round as soon as Satan buys my sledge.
Sorry, that might be a trifle obscure - let me spell it out.
NO.
FECKING.
WAY.
I'll be round as soon as Satan buys my sledge.
Sorry, that might be a trifle obscure - let me spell it out.
NO.
FECKING.
WAY.
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
Why did you cancel my ferry, you bunch of bellends?
I know I've got a refund, but that's hardly the point.
I'm going to have a bugger of a journey now.
I know I've got a refund, but that's hardly the point.
I'm going to have a bugger of a journey now.
- Location
- Next door to Mr Benn at No 54
Yes, I know you think I have a Phd in Crisis Management. However, it is obvious that you need some experience in crisis management.
Please accept this document confirming the following:
It is noted that you are therefore served with this notice that henceforth you will sort your own crises.
It is further noted that I will not offer any more assistance.
Additionally, it is noted that your criticism of my actions, accompanied with your immeasurable gift of twenty twenty hindsight has led to the party of the first part not wishing to have any communications with the party of the second part.
Have I made myself clear?
Please accept this document confirming the following:
It is noted that you are therefore served with this notice that henceforth you will sort your own crises.
It is further noted that I will not offer any more assistance.
Additionally, it is noted that your criticism of my actions, accompanied with your immeasurable gift of twenty twenty hindsight has led to the party of the first part not wishing to have any communications with the party of the second part.
Have I made myself clear?
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
To the shouty squawking party of cackling raucous mutton-dressed-as-lamb (and the women were no better) bunch of oxygen thieves I had the misfortune of sharing an indian restaurant with earlier this evening :-
I hope you all enjoyed your evening, because you have wrecked ours.
Oh, hang on.
Wrong thread.
This should have gone in 'Things you'd like to say and did'...
I hope you all enjoyed your evening, because you have wrecked ours.
Oh, hang on.
Wrong thread.
This should have gone in 'Things you'd like to say and did'...
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
Note, for future use and more impact, use Ross Noble's description of York Racegoers. "Mutton dressed as pig."
I'm very proud to recall that NT has the presence of mind to use this phrase to a bunch of racegoers who jumped the taxi queue in front of him when he arrived at York Station on crutches last summer.
Nigel-YZ1
Guru
- Location
- Somewhere else... maybe soon.
All my life I dreaded becoming like you. I never seemed to get anywhere in the areas I really wanted.
I had a good job, a nice place to live, but could not find what I really wanted in my life - someone to share that life with.
Every time I met you I thought I was looking at what I would soon be. You worked, you lived each day, but you had nothing more. I felt the pain for both of us. It was as if you'd given up on life and resigned yourself to never being more. There was no drive, no humour, only quiet resignation. The only other people in your life used you.
Then the cancer came. Doctors took 6 months to decide it wasn't just a lung infection, and stop just giving you antibiotics and start real treatment.
And on Saturday you died. It just seemed so quick, so easy and unfought.
I found what was missing. I just wish you'd found it too, and if yesterday was your time, at least you'd have gone having lead a life of more meaning. The way I'd have wanted to go.
Wherever you are now, I hope you're being dealt a better hand than you were for your 60 years here.
Rest in peace cousin.
I had a good job, a nice place to live, but could not find what I really wanted in my life - someone to share that life with.
Every time I met you I thought I was looking at what I would soon be. You worked, you lived each day, but you had nothing more. I felt the pain for both of us. It was as if you'd given up on life and resigned yourself to never being more. There was no drive, no humour, only quiet resignation. The only other people in your life used you.
Then the cancer came. Doctors took 6 months to decide it wasn't just a lung infection, and stop just giving you antibiotics and start real treatment.
And on Saturday you died. It just seemed so quick, so easy and unfought.
I found what was missing. I just wish you'd found it too, and if yesterday was your time, at least you'd have gone having lead a life of more meaning. The way I'd have wanted to go.
Wherever you are now, I hope you're being dealt a better hand than you were for your 60 years here.
Rest in peace cousin.
Nigel-YZ1
Guru
- Location
- Somewhere else... maybe soon.
No, the server will never become faster.
Every day for 1.5 years - Every single damned day - you've rung me or called me into your office and sworn, and yelled, and kicked furniture, and made it my fault that you work late (which is a lie as you leave 5 minutes after me), that your children don't see you, that you treat your family like shoot.
The problem is the software. It's written using old methods, in an old language, and it doesn't work right. It is a compromise from the start.
But the author won't change it as they're making thousands a day from it and don't give a toss. They told you that to your face. But you don't care because you hired me as a whipping boy to take the blame instead.
You've only been nice because I can do the accountant job as well as IT. When the new lady starts in accounts you'll talk too me like shoot again.
I'm looking for another job. Shut your foul little mouth.
Every day for 1.5 years - Every single damned day - you've rung me or called me into your office and sworn, and yelled, and kicked furniture, and made it my fault that you work late (which is a lie as you leave 5 minutes after me), that your children don't see you, that you treat your family like shoot.
The problem is the software. It's written using old methods, in an old language, and it doesn't work right. It is a compromise from the start.
But the author won't change it as they're making thousands a day from it and don't give a toss. They told you that to your face. But you don't care because you hired me as a whipping boy to take the blame instead.
You've only been nice because I can do the accountant job as well as IT. When the new lady starts in accounts you'll talk too me like shoot again.
I'm looking for another job. Shut your foul little mouth.
Moon bunny
Judging your grammar
- Location
- Basking in my own brilliance.
Oh! I did not know we were playing mental disorder top trumps! Severe depression eh? self diagnosed on the basis of a multiple choice test sheet, yet you could still manage to get into work, to the pub, to church... Then you find someone else has PTSD, and guess what? So have you! What a bizarre coincidence! Very strange how when, for instance, the door bangs shut, you jump, same as me, but just that fraction of a second later. Then there is that strange reaction you recently started to a certain shade of blue, you claim it gives you anxiety attacks (not that anyone could notice) but cannot say why, just as a few months ago I reacted to a certain shade of grey, the colour of "his" suit. Now the really strange thing is, although you are full of questions about the symptoms, you show a remarkable disinclination to go for any treatment other than to your GP for tablets. We are all beginning to wonder...
EltonFrog
Legendary Member
Dad, I love you, I have always loved you. Unconditionally. But actually you were a crap father, feckin useless if I'm being honest, and now you are nearly 80 I'm not in the least bit interested in reminiscing with you about yesteryear. Not. One. Bit. But on your 80th birthday I'll give you a big hug, I'll tell you I love you, 'cos I do, and we'll get pissed together, probably for the last time.
ComedyPilot
Secret Lemonade Drinker
- Location
- The Kingdom of Yorkshire
Saves me posting it, I suppose....but ditto
Hubby giving you grief again, eh ?
Well done, you've hired another 18 year old no hoper who stays up all night smoking weed, and spends all day handing out a bad attitude. There are plenty of guys in their 20s and 30s out there with a real want to work, and some experience of grafting and getting on with people, but you would have to pay them 20p an hour more.
And also, thanks for making him my problem.
And also, thanks for making him my problem.
