Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Marshmallow_Fluff]

I work with dogs. I groom them and make them look pretty for their owners.

If you cannot be bothered to brush your dogs, neither can I.
If your dog is a matted, stinking mess I am NOT going to even attempt to sort out the pelt, I am going to shave the whole mess off with a 3mm blade and you can pay me double for the service. Or I could just ring the RSPCA. Matting on a dog's coat hurts them, causes them physical pain so if you have a long coated dog, buy a brush and use it properly. If you don't know how to use your brush properly, ask your groomer as they will be only too glad to demonstrate and advise you in the proper care of your (generally very expensive) dog.

Thank you.
Had a rough day today

If only you could see my dog 24 hours after she's been bathed and brushed and perfumed and gift-wrapped..
(thankfully enough my boy is a gentleman! )

 

[Saluki]

If only you could see my dog 24 hours after she's been bathed and brushed and perfumed and gift-wrapped..
(thankfully enough my boy is a gentleman! )

The very reason that I have 'wash & go' dogs

 

[Marshmallow_Fluff]

The very reason that I have 'wash & go' dogs

"Wash and Go"? Tell me all about it!!!!!

 

[PaulB]

No, I won't raise my arms and allow you to run your hands all over my body because you harbour suspicions I may be attempting to destroy this aeroplane I am scheduled to board. What have I done to make you think I am suspicious? How do I know you aren't a wandering-handed-Walter who likes rubbing people up on the pretext he is carrying out essential 'security' work? And before you answer, brush your teeth!

 

[simon.r]

"The meeting has now been going on for 3 hours. We have discussed the point you are now rambling on about 3 times already. Please stop talking."

To the chair - "FFS, please get a grip and tell this person to stop talking so we stand a chance of getting home before 7pm."

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

"Wash and Go"? Tell me all about it!!!!!

I'd LOVE something like an Afghan, but the hair would be too much of a nightmare for me, so I prefer short haired dogs instead!

 

[simon.r]

I'd LOVE something like an Afghan, but the hair would be too much of a nightmare for me, so I prefer short haired dogs instead!

I wanted an Afghan, but only the cool kids were allowed them

 

[Night Train]

'Hadn't you considered that if I was actually well enough to chase up your mistake, and sort it out, and liaise between all the affected parties, to get the health care I need then I wouldn't actually need it?'

 

[Night Train]

I had similar happen a couple of years back when the cheeky sods came up the side of my house and peed up my car. I let my dogs out for a pee at the same time (a coincidence, I assure you). I have never seen blokes run with their bits out, still peeing, up a road before or since.

I caught a couple of yobs peeing on the front of my neighbour's house. I challenged them. They got in their car in that 'I can run you down' stance. I stood my ground, they back off and reversed away.

When I was living in London my then wife caught a drunk man peeing on the front of my car. She got a bucket of water an made him wash the front of the car.
I also got a dog walker to wash the wheels of my car when he lead his dog to pee on it.

 

[Arch]

'Hadn't you considered that if I was actually well enough to chase up your mistake, and sort it out, and liaise between all the affected parties, to get the health care I need then I wouldn't actually need it?'

 

[Arch]

"Ah. Not met you before. You're a pompous little git, aren't you?"

 

[Night Train]

"Look, all I want to do is give you the money and take the thing away with me. I don't need a detailed account of how you took it apart, what you cleaned it with and how you painted it before putting it back together again. Nor do I need to know about your interests, previous career, or lifestyle. You might be sad and lonely but I have a life! Just take the money and let me have what I bought!"

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

More people should look their own death in the face, get treated like shoot and used by people for years on end, and survive it having learned what life should really be all about.
Then go out and get that life.
Then there would be less sanctimonious, preaching, point scoring, cruel, nit-picking, jumped up little peanuts everywhere.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Stop driving round with foglights on. Especially in rain. It's not foggy. It does not make your penis look bigger. Perhaps that's what you're checking the length of constantly while driving round one handed?

 

[simon.r]

No thanks, I don't need you to spend 5 minutes giving me directions which rely on having knowledge of local landmarks and pubs that were knocked down 20 years ago. I have a map and a sat-nav and I am quietly confident I will be able to find your house.