Things you'd like to say, but can't

[ceepeebee]

to my colleague sat opposite me - yes, I am putting my headphones on so I can ignore you and concentrate. The sound of you eating with your mouth open makes me feel sick, previously to manageable levels, but now you've broken the crisps out? my god, I may have to leave the office.

 

[Speicher]

How many times do I need to say something before you can admit that I know what I am talking about? You think you know everything. On this occasion you did not. I was extremely polite in pointing out your error. You should know by now that I would not pretend to know things that I do not know.

Next time please credit me with the intelligence to know details about things, and that I am able to tell you that you worded it incorrectly. This inaccuracy was bound to upset some people. Now you have to do it all over again. Guess what - do it yourself!
I am not holding my breath for an apology from you, or an acknowledgement that you were wrong. Please do not ask me for any further advice, unless there is a very good chance that you will listen to what I am saying.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

I worked myself to death for 17 years, built all this from nothing with no budget while you patronised me, ripped me off for thousands and treated me as if I didn't know my own job.
Now you've dumped your debts (including those to me), replaced me, thrown me out and I have to start again.
Thanks for nothing you ignorant, self centred bastard.

 

[TheDoctor]

We had a leaving drink to celebrate your departure
We just didn't ruin it by inviting you

 

[ComedyPilot]

Take your job and shove it ....

 

[ComedyPilot]

Pull that Audi over, and discuss with me WHY you needed to overtake and drive AT me at 60mph!!!

 

[defy-one]

Pull that Audi over - should have bought a BMW!

Sent from my GT-I9100

 

[Nihal]

Hmmm........i really dont know what to say

 

[TheDoctor]

I really didn't mean you to hear that. I had no idea you were nearby.
It doesn't make it any less true, but you weren't supposed to hear me being quite so vehement about it.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Don't ask me a question and then look at my Mum for the answer, seriously, why am I even in the room?

 

[TVC]

Just because you can draw it on your super-duper CAD system, it doesn't mean we can actually make it in real life.

 

[Doseone]

Dad, my fingers are stuck in your neck flab.

 

[Rob500]

Overheard somebody whinging loudly in a shop about not being able to get some kind of salad. (Even though there was probably many others available).

Me: To myself. (Wish I'd said it).

"There's children lying in filth, dying of starvation and you're F****** whinging over a F****** lettuce. You stupid docile B******.

 

[asterix]

England were rubbish, Rooney got lucky and that was definitely over the line. The Italians will do the Job.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Just because you are old, it doesn't mean you can't try anything new, I mean, jeez, get a grip you pathetic old man!