Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Dora]

shops: will you please put your flamin' credit card machine thingies through at the end of the day, not weeks and weeks later!!

 

[Arjimlad]

Does your husband know you drive like that with kids in the car ?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

You want an X5? Hahahahahahaha!!

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Optician: You need new frames cos we can't get lenses for these any more.
Me: Stop ****ing *********ing me you rip off **holes!!

 

[Arjimlad]

When you come in for an in-depth legal discussion about what is a fairly complex case, with a lot of paperwork for me to read, I would appreciate it if you did not chew gum, as the sound of your open-mouthed masticating, whilst I am trying to think and read at the same time is very distracting.

 

[Speicher]

I do not accept your apology. It was just a load of excuses. Like last time, and the time before and the time before that.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Beam me up scotty and make it quick

 

[al78]

I want to kill you!!
Some humans are the biggest vermin on the planet, everyone knows that.

FYPFY.

 

[alicat]

If you are going to pull out from a layby without looking, please could you indicate first so that I don't have to do an emergency stop at 70mph.

 

[Archie_tect]

"Red lorry, yellow lorry....."

 

[swee'pea99]

I know it's a 40 limit, but please don't sit in the fast lane at 39, mile after mile. That particular breed of self-righteous bloody-mindedness is not just cretinous, it's dangerous.

 

[hotmetal]

No, Ms Account Handler, we haven't learnt anything today. You have. You have hopefully learnt that listening to the technical people instead of bitching about them to the MD because you don't like the advice will actually help you achieve your objectives far better. If you could just cast your mind back to the start of this project, you will recall that I said it should be done that way from the start, and had you listened instead of deeming technical people "subordinates" we wouldn't be facing the problems we now are. Remind me: what are your qualifications exactly?

 

[007fair]

I know I can't touch them but I have to say they look great !

 

[CopperCyclist]

Why don't you just get a job?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Being a 75 year old granny is a piss poor excuse, carry your own cooker you old trout.