The Limerick Thread

[roubaixtuesday]

A hirsute young man, name of Ming
Said "I do wish to me you would bring...
...A fair buxom wench
And a brand new torque wrench
To tighten my bolts 'till they ping "

 

[Ming the Merciless]

A hirsute young man, name of Ming
Said "I do wish to me you would bring...
...A fair buxom wench
And a brand new torque wrench
To tighten my bolts 'till they ping "

On the night that is known as Roubaixtuesday
The cyclists set out full of glee
Adventures were had and miles were gone,
And fun was had by all 'til dawn.
Riding into the sunset with a hearty "Huzzah!"

 

[roubaixtuesday]

On the night that is known as Roubaixtuesday
The cyclists set out full of glee
Adventures were had and miles were gone,
And fun was had by all 'til dawn.
Riding into the sunset with a hearty "Huzzah!"

If your limerick doesn't scan
Or rhyme
It
Doesn't
Make any difference so don't worry.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

If your limerick doesn't scan
Or rhyme
It
Doesn't
Make any difference so don't worry.

There once was a person so grand,
Their words were like poetry's brand.
But alas, their limerick failed to scan,
Hence their poetic ambitions to outman.

 

[Dave7]

You need a Lpool/Merseyside connection for this. Feel free to ask for translation.

There was a young girl called our Mary
Who sold goosgogs down at the dairy.
I said 'what are they wack'
She said 'I don't know Mack.....they're like gear little plums only hairy'.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

A very unusual chef is Trish
She's prepared many a weird dish
Her apple sauce
has carrots of course
But I don't know what she's done with that fish

 

[classic33]

You’ve conquered the aging disease
That brings lesser men to their knees
You’re a vigorous man
And you’ve proved you still can
Blow your candles with only one wheeze.

 

[classic33]

There once was a girl named Irene
Who lived on distilled kerosene
But she started absorbing
A new hydrocarbon
And since then has never benzene.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

A young lad named Harry the Kane
Said "please don't hand me the blame"
The nubile young lass
Enticed me from class
By making me sniff her alkanes

 

[KnittyNorah]

There was a young lady of Hitching
Sat scratching herself in the kitchen

The rest is too rude....

Oh don’t be a prude

You're just jealous - and that's why you're bitching.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

You're just jealous - and that's why you're bitching.

Knitty Nora who liked to bitch,
Was always spinning bobbins rich,
Though she'd often moan,
Her yarns never let her alone,
Making her feel a creative witch!

 

[roubaixtuesday]

The moans of Knitty Nora
Rang out of her bedroom door (er)
“Quiet your cries - I’ll be blamed!”
Her lover exclaimed
But she screamed even as he implored her

[let me know if too risque and I'll delete!]

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

A pregnant young wife from Geneva
Said “The father is Zeus the deceiver.
I know it sounds odd,
But the Randy old god
Ravaged me disguised as a beaver.

Another pinched one.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

The randy young God named Achilles
Was a bit of a one for the fillies
The priapic explorer
Impregnated Flora
With just one of his half dozen willies

 

[classic33]

Dave7 still uses a cast iron skillet,
To cook his prize "chili with millet".
It's perfectly seasoned:
No sticking of cheese and
It won't burn his cornbread (or will it?)