The Limerick Thread

[12boy]

The little green men from Mars
Like to take their big dumps in bars
Right there in the crapper
They put on a wrapper
And that's where we get cheap cigars

 

[KiterStu]

There was a young vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were lengthy but stable
By the light of the moon with a long silver spoon
She could drink herself under the table

 

[All uphill]

Stu's limerick made us quite sick
He is such a vulgar young d*ck
If he does it again
Or more likely when
He'll just be taking the mick

 

[roubaixtuesday]

There once was a young lad named Stu
Who consumed a white hot vindaloo
On hitting his bowel
His innards did growl
Then ruptured and showered out poo

 

[TheDoctor]

There was a young man from Cork
Who got limericks
And haikus confused.

 

[Drago]

There was an old dandy called Accy,
Who smoke a quite fragrant mexican baccy,
He rolled up a smoke,
And took a deep toke,
Then passed at the left to his lackey.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

If Drago were your given name
You’re destined for glory and fame
The silver stage beckons
‘cos everyone reckons
You’re an ideal pantomime dame

 

[Drago]

There was a young man called Roubaix,
Who was blessed with 20 inch eye,
Took an hour to blink,
Even longer to wink,
But a patch he refused just to buy.

 

[Drago]

There was a young man named Threevok,
The illegitimate son of commander Spock,
Star fleet he did join,
Took captain Kirks coin,
But he couldn't stop watching the clock.

 

[Drago]

There was an old man named Uphill,
Who didn't have lungs but had gills,
The chicks he did fright,
He was alone every night,
Because the sight made them all rather ill.

 

[Drago]

There was an old man called the Dodtor,
And he wanted to be a good proctor...
...ologist at the hossy,
But he was far too bossy,
And his nurse was a chick so he mocked her.

 

[Drago]

There was a young lad called 12 boy,
Who was a BBC presenters secret toy,
But he reached pube-er-tee,
No longer fitted on their knee,
And his deep broken voice did annoy.

 

[JohnHughes307]

My favourite - the additional internal rhymes while keeping perfect scanscion is genius...

There was a young fellow from Uffingham
Who stood on a bridge down in Buckingham
Watching the stunts
Of the c*nts in the punts
And the tricks of the pr*cks who were f*ckin 'em

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Drago’s legendary member
Is stiff from July to November
The rest of the season
It’s floppy and even…


…occasionally inverts in December

 

[Reynard]

There was a young woman called Bright
Who could travel much faster than light
She went out one day
In a relative way
And came back the previous night.