The Limerick Thread

[slowmotion]

In 2018, @theclaud slapped my wrist when she spotted that the second line didn't scan.

There was a young girl from Zeballos
Who used a stick of dynamite as a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And the rest of her body in Dallas

 

[Tom B]

Dave, so you know for next time,
Lines one, two and five should all rhyme,
And line three,
Should end similarly to me,
'else it's just not Cricket, sunshine!


*Not mine

 

[classic33]

There was a young man from Frome,
who had a scraggly beard on his dome,
when he went to Woking,
they said, "are you joking"?
he said, "well I was going to use a comb".

 

[classic33]

There was once a man from Peru,
Who dreamt he was eating a shoe
He woke through the night,
with a terrible fright,
and dreamt he was eating a shoe.


Hello! My name is Massa,
I used to live at Ferrari casa.
Well, I still do,
but my days are so few
That I may as well apply for NASA.

 

[Chromatic]

My favourite:

There once was a man from Dundee
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked did it hurt?
He said 'not very much,
it can do it again if it likes'

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

There was a keen cyclist in Australia
Who trapped his thumb* in the derailleur
The screams that he gave
Woke the dead from the grave
As efforts to free him ended in failure

* other body parts are available

And another pinched one.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

I once knew a very thin bloke -
His girlfriend the dead did awoke
When she first saw him naked
She screamed "He's not faked"
"HIS KNOB IS THE SHAPE OF A SPOKE!!!"

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

There was a young fellow called Billy
Who behaved in a manner most silly.
He played with a knife
At the risk of his life
And cut off the end of his Willy.

 

[Moon bunny]

There was a young lady called Maisie,
Who wanted to live like a daisy,
She lay in a field,
And never would yield,
To folk who called her just lazy.

 

[Moon bunny]

Doug the biker insane,
Decided to strip on a train,
With a shake of his locks,
He threw off his socks,
Thank god his trousers remain.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

This limerick I write will not scan,
For a metrical form it just can't,
But its thought is quite clear,
As I forgot to adhere,
To the rules of the rhyming by-stand.

 

[Drago]

There was a young man named Enus,
[Redacted by mods]

 

[roubaixtuesday]

A young man named Drago once said
"Lithe Wench, get thee to my bed!"
The smirk of the lady,
Said "you're hung like a baby"
As she turned on her heel and fled

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

There was a young man named Drago
Whose Y fronts were the cause of the plagueo
His washing machine
Had long since been
And the laundry had said fork off go

 

[Drago]

There was a young man two five two six,
Who's limericks made me feel sick,
He sat down to write,
His knickers felt tight,
Which assuredly gave him his kicks.