Post a lie about the poster above.

[Rocky]

Steph went to the doctor today and rasped, "There seems to be a few spoons and forks stuck in my throat."

The doctor laughed "It's not that serious but.................you'll need to have utensils taken out."

 

[All uphill]

Rocky was advised to go to the optician about his jokes.

The optician examined and explained that there was a problem. Something to do with "cornea "

 

[rogerzilla]

All uphill was struck off as an optician after they found out all his eye charts were blurred.

 

[Rocky]

Rog went to the optician for an eye test. The Optician asked him what he could see.

Rog said: "I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theatres and closed pubs."

That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!

 

[All uphill]

When he joined the Navy Rocky was lent some optics so he could keep watch for enemy vessels.

One day the captain said " Bin oculars!"

So Rocky threw them in the rubbish.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Roger still can't understand why his daughters, Steak Bake and Kebab, complain about their names.

Stephec named his after his favourite foods too.

Apparently, Pot Noodle, Fish Finger, Toblerone and Spam, are planning to change their names by Deed Poll at the first available opportunity.

Have I found the magic sentence that kills the thread?

I thought it would be Doug who posted the killer line.

Maybe you are all out riding your bikes. I hope so

I'm up north and the Wi - Fi is shoot, sorry, I'll have to try harder!

Rocky went on a pub crawl in Portsmouth and can't get the seamen smell out of his trousers.

Yeah, but you weren't complaining at the time! 😆

Rog went to the optician for an eye test. The Optician asked him what he could see.

Rog said: "I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theatres and closed pubs."

That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!

I just told that joke and nobody got it 🙄☺️

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

When he joined the Navy Rocky was lent some optics so he could keep watch for enemy vessels.

One day the captain said " Bin oculars!"

So Rocky threw them in the rubbish.

AU is so short sighted that when he went to go and get new glasses, he was told

'This is a Pub'

 

[rogerzilla]

Mad Doug doesn't know he's in The Matrix. We're just here to keep his brain functioning while the machines use him as a big fat Duracell.

 

[Rocky]

I just told that joke and nobody got it 🙄☺️

Telling jokes is all about the...............















...................the.......






......the timing.

 

[Rocky]

Doug knows that all of my jokes are old and in my case 'the old ones are the worst ones'....................and it's probably time for Wol to put me back on the naughty step.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Mad Doug doesn't know he's in The Matrix. We're just here to keep his brain functioning while the machines use him as a big fat Duracell.

MY Brain??

Jeezo, I feel sorry for you all! 😆

 

[Rocky]

MY Brain??

Jeezo, I feel sorry for you all! 😆

I read it as Doug's Brian.........and wanted to know who this Brian was and why we should keep him functioning.

 

[rogerzilla]

Rocky's Brian and so is his wife.

 

[All uphill]

Roger got in trouble when he said I promise to love my partner from this day forth unless I get a better offer.

 

[Rocky]

Talking of offers, Uppers works for a health insurance company. He's devised a cheap policy for anyone who promises not to eat shellfish.

He calls it their No Clams Bonus.