Post a lie about the poster above.

[Mad Doug Biker]

It was Doug's birthday yesterday, and he received £550 from all the cards he opened.

He really loves working in a post office.

The way my local post office is going, that might not be a lie!

 

[Rocky]

Talking of Post Offices, I thought I'd let everyone see a DM conversation Doug and I had earlier today.

Doug: "I gave the postman a big shock today - I went to the door without any clothes on."

Rocky: "Surely he has seen stuff like that before."

Doug: "Yes, but what really surprised him was that I knew where he lived."

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

It was Doug's birthday yesterday, and he received £550 from all the cards he opened.

He really loves working in a post office.

It's Rocky's birthday tomorrow and he'll have to be quick off the mark, before I start my shift!

 

[stephec]

'Just pop it in my slot,' one of many phrases that the restraining order prevents MDB from saying to his postman.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Yes, Stephec knows it is 'Special Delivery'.

 

[rogerzilla]

Mad Doug subscribes people he doesn't like to Franklin Mint and Bradford Exchange catalogues.

 

[Rocky]

It was close to Rog's wedding anniversary and his wife was leaving jewellery catalogues all over the house. So he took the hint and did what any astute husband would do.

He got her a magazine rack.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

It wasn't his birthday or his anniversary or any special occasion but Rocky just had to buy one of these racks for himself

 

[Rocky]

It wasn't his birthday or his anniversary or any special occasion but Rocky just had to buy one of these racks for himself
View attachment 703189

26 knows I've sent it back because my Sauvignon blanc had started to steam........

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

26 knows I've sent it back because my Sauvignon blanc had started to steam........

Rocky was going to suggest that it goes with a nice breast.


... Food, not... Oh, never mind.

 

[stephec]

MDB is more of a leg man, although considering some of the things he's gotten upto he doesn't really have one to stand on.

 

[Rocky]

Not many people know that Steph's surname is Spiggott and he once went to Doug's casting agency to apply for a role playing Tarzan. What many also don't know is that Steph only has one leg. Anyway, what follows is Doug and Steph's discussion:

Doug: Mr Spiggott – you are, I believe, auditioning for the part of Tarzan.
Steph Spiggott: Right.
Doug: Now Mr Spiggott, I couldn't help noticing – almost at once – that you are a one-legged person.
Steph: You noticed that?
Doug: I noticed that, Mr Spiggott. When you have been in the business as long as I have, you come to notice these little things almost instinctively.
........

Doug: Need I say with over much emphasis that it is in the leg division that you are deficient.
Steph: The leg division?
Doug: Yes, the leg division, Mr Spiggott. You are deficient in it to the tune of one. Your right leg, I like. I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said, "A lovely leg for the role". I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is – neither have you.

 

[rogerzilla]

Rocky's entire moral compass stems from the little bits at the end of "Tarzan - Lord of the Jungle" where cartoon Tarzan breaks the fourth wall and tells kids not to stab each other or take drugs.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Rz has, for the past 17½ years, been building a Rocket to take him to the sun.

Allaying the inevitable questions, he tells everyone he going to go at night, when it'll be cold.



...It's clear who didn't heed cartoon Tarzan's advice about not taking drugs!

 

[rogerzilla]

Mad Doug wants to cycle on the moon, because the hills are six times easier and there's no air resistance. He reckons he can manage a "10" in under 40 minutes.