Give me some dialogue from your day

[jayonabike]

Me - Did you see on the news about that bloke who had a hand transplant?
Mate - A hand job on the NHS?

 

[Matthew_T]

One of our general engineers / fitters (called Matt) has been given his own little office, one of the other engineers said to me -

Engineer - "We ought to put a little sign up for him..."
Me - 'You don't have to be Matt to work here but it helps?'
Engineer - "buh?"

Are you offering me a job? I would hope I have an office being a Civil Engineer. I dont need a sign though, I could probably find it okay.

 

[Matthew_T]

Me cycling along the prom in the glorious sun on my MTB. I notice two cyclists ahead of me so ring my bell a few times to make sure they know I am there. I notice two peds walking towards us so decide to pass the cyclists before we get to them.

Me: *Ding, ding, ding*
Woman moves over to left.
Woman then speeds up as I approach causing me to have to sprint past her.
Me as I pass: Thank you.
Woman: I wasnt going to let you pass.
Me: Oh, haha.

I am not entirely sure why she said that she wouldnt let me pass. They were both doing about 15mph and I had to do 20mph to pass them before the peds. It was a bit close.

 

[Matthew_T]

It was a joke?

I couldnt tell. She sounded serious.

 

[Noodley]

Just now, watching a movie on TV.

Mrs N: what's his name again? Danny De Vito?
Me: no, he's a wee short fat bloke...Robert de Niro is it not?
Mrs N: aye, that's him, Al Pacino

And she was correct.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Are you offering me a job? I would hope I have an office being a Civil Engineer. I dont need a sign though, I could probably find it okay.

This is machine engineering

 

[Spinney]

Warfarin nurse: Just a sharp little scratch!

I preferred it when they used to say 'You'll just feel a little prick'...

(maybe some bloke got offended and they had to stop?)


EDIT: (some time later) - interesting that so far it's only women that seem to find this amusing!

 

[Psycolist]

It's amazing how often this has happened over the years I've been working on machinery....
I have the covers off a 8ft high weighing machine and am peering inside, watching the way fruit is exiting and making sure its not giving under weights to the packing machines.
I've been watching for a few minutes, and one of the operators comes sauntering up and say..
'Theres something wrong with that machine'
I reply...'I know, that's why I'm here'
He says..'it keeps giving under weights'
I reply...' I know, that's why I'm here'
He says...'it's been doing it a lot'
Me to myself..grrrrrrr


Why do people do that, state the obvious, bother you while you're busy with inane useless comments....grrrr

I'm an idiot when it comes to computers and couldnt reply to just the last line of your entry, which is wot I wanted to do, but just that sentence struck such a farmiliar tone, it describes my working life exactly, all day and every day !

 

[GrasB]

So my nephew comes running into the kitchen as I'm changing the bandage on my wife's arm. He pauses, shouts "hello" & runs out again. My wife & I then hear -

Nephew: Mummy, did Uncle get Aunty as a present?
Sis in Law: No, why did you say that?
Nephew: Because Uncle is unwrapping Aunty
SIL: (visual representation of the sentence)
Father in law: *sigh* probably just having her arm re-dressed.

 

[swee'pea99]

...just the last line of your entry, which is wot I wanted to do, but just that sentence struck such a farmiliar tone, it describes my working life exactly, all day and every day !

It reminded me of my in-laws in that kind of teeth-grinding inanity, except their version is her habit of echoing what he says, a second after he says it:

Him: We had to take it back
Her: We had to take it back
Him: And the bloke in the shop said we've had a lot of these coming back
Her: Lot of these coming back
Him: But they didn't have any in, so we have to go back next week to get a replacement
Her: To get a replacement.

This can go on for minutes at a time. It makes me want to SCREAM! (But I don't, of course.)

 

[Archie_tect]

...makes me want to scream.

 

[swee'pea99]

You're here all week, right?

 

[Archie_tect]

You're here all week, right?

...all week.
Sorry I'll stop now.
I said,....

 

[Andrew_Culture]

We have an 18 year old apprentice who works here when not at sixth form. He just turned up at 2pm and walked into my office,

Me - "Hi, nice to see you, how are you?"

Him -"I'm really really tired..."

Me - "Oh? Late night?"

Him - "No, it's just that this is the time I normally get out of bed..."

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

We have an 18 year old apprentice who works here when not at sixth form. He just turned up at 2pm and walked into my office,

Me - "Hi, nice to see you, how are you?"

Him -"I'm really really tired..."

Me - "Oh? Late night?"

Him - "No, it's just that this is the time I normally get out of bed..."

perhaps you need to suggest night shift working to him!