Give me some dialogue from your day

[colly]

Not quite dialogue, but it turns out the colleague I've been calling Sid for the last 18 months is actually called Simon & and I only found out when his wife called and asked to speak to Simon, and I told her nobody called Simon works here...

Something very similar when I was around 19 or 20. We had a new office boy start, straight from school.
We were told he was arriving and as I happened to be the first one in I naturally said hello and asked what his name was. 'Bill' he told me.
As the office filled up I introduced him to the other office staff as Bill. Everyone called him Bill.

A year later, maybe more, we found out his name was Alan. Alan Beal.

He either was to shy to say anything or thought we were all a right lot of snotty b'stards.

 

[Arch]

Driving along, we're under cloud, but can see the edge of it.

NT: If we drive fast enough, we might get out from under this cloud...
Me: You can't be cirrus...

<groan>

 

[Andy_R]

Driving along, we're under cloud, but can see the edge of it.

NT: If we drive fast enough, we might get out from under this cloud...
Me: You can't be cirrus...

<groan>

I would just like to say....you two deserve each other....

 

[MossCommuter]

Overheard in Lidl in Britain in December!

'Grapes! £3.98... RIP OFF'

 

[gbb]

'You're a star'
Me to my son...
Christmas eve, 9pm, just gone for a bath...no hot water, ooer.
Checked the boiler in as much as i can, pilot is on, pump is running but the hot tank is now only mildly warm, the boilers not firing up.
'KEVIN.....HELPPPPPPP'
5 minutes later, i have my own boiler engineer walking in the door
Two minutes worth of checks, 'You're solenoids gone, i'll be back in 5 minutes'

Circa 9.30 pm, i have a working boiler.

The joys of having a son who's a gas engineer

 

[Shaun]

08:00 hrs - Boiler engineer No.3 (we'd had two previous call-outs in recent weeks, pump replaced, air drained from the system, etc.) - "Looks like air in the system [again]. We'll re-pressurise it, drain the air our of the radiators and pump and you should be good to go."

Two hours later, find water all over the bottom of the airing cupboard, call British Gas and arrange to get an engineer back.

15:00 hrs - Boiler engineer No.4 (who, incidentally, was also engineer No.2 a few weeks ago) - "I've drained the system, replaced the O-ring in the leaking seal at the back, and filled it back up again. You should be okay now, but if you have any problems just call the service desk - we're working tomorrow if you need us!".

As we were his last call, he toddled off home to build the bike that Father Christmas was bringing his 5 year old.

 

[Arch]

Oli: Auntie Sue? Do you know something about cheese?
Me: What about cheese, Oli?
Oli: It's got millions of tiny little mites in it!

This was pretty much his opening words to me as he arrived for Christmas. Last year, he opened with "Auntie Sue, sometimes in nature things die, but that's alright"

He's 5.

Later on, we discussed the difficulty of wrapping the whole world up for Christmas, leading onto the various ways in which the Earth is not like a football (which include colour, size, filling and lack of oceans on a football.)

 

[Shaun]

Kids are ace aren't they ...

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas

 

[Andy_R]

eeeeewowowowowowhaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

small boy this morning

Happy Christmas all.

 

[TVC]

Lullabelle: Is the bottle finished?
Me: Yes.
Lullabelle: Oh
Me: Mmm, it's not yet 10am and we've finished the first bottle of fizz.
Lullabelle: Oh
Me: I think we need to go out for a walk.

 

[Saluki]

Heard when hubby was calling his Dad this morning.

Ken: Hi Dad, Merry Christmas
Dad: Who is this?
Ken: Its me, your son
Dad: who?
Ken: Its Ken, Happy Christmas
Dad: what?
Ken: Have you got your hearing aid in?
Dad: What?
Ken: I'll call back later.

2 mins later, phone rings

Dad: Hello Son Merry Christmas
Ken: Hello Dad
Dad: Did you call, I didn't have my hearing aids in.

Phone conversations between hubby and his Dad are at top volume, I can hear his Dad on the phone from the other side of the room.

 

[gbb]

Sat at my daughters at lunchtime, just had roast beef and the trimmings...
Me to Will (who'd cooked dinner)...'seriously Will, i think that's the tenderest beef ive ever had' (it genuinely was)

I sensed a titter. i looked around, then to my wife...who was giving me the..

'Errr, except yours of course baby '

 

[gbb]

Sat in the living room, i'm watching a re-run of the Olympics time trial on Eurosport, the wife's doing her thing...
From nowhere, the wife chirped up.
'He's going to get a hunchback if he's not careful !!!' with that knowing look in her eye, i told you so kind of look.
Me......'Eh ?'
Wife...'Bradley Wiggins...look at the way he's hunched over that bike '

'You silly mare...'

 

[TVC]

Three year old niece walks into the room in the middle of a big family party with a dishcloth draped across her face and rubbing her nose through it.
Niece to everyone without prompting: "I'm trying to get a bogey out"