Give me some dialogue from your day

[Andrew_Culture]

When I had clients in London the use of an interesting and varied vocabulary was something to be savoured and enjoyed during interactions with staff and the management, a couple of exchanges from my colleagues today prove that I need to refocus my vocal perspicacity.

On a colleague telling me they think they might have deleted their recycle bin in XP
Me - "Ah, created an ouroboros loop have we?"
Them - "..."

On reporting to a colleague that the person he wishes to speak to has called in sick
Me - "The person you require is on his Keatsean deathbed"
Them - "..."

On a user telling them they need access to something on the server
Me - "Okay, as a start point I need to reference the documentary 'War Games' featuring Matthew Broderick"
Them - "..."


Actually reading them back I'd think I was a proper weirdo if I met me!

 

[TVC]

Me: Cough,Cough,Bark,Bark,Rattle,Cough
Merlot Cat: Looks up, glares, closes eyes,goes back to sleep
Me: Cough,Cough,Bark,Bark,Rattle,Cough
Merlot Cat: Looks up, glares, closes eyes,goes back to sleep
Me: Cough,Cough,Bark,Bark,Rattle,Cough
Merlot Cat: Looks up, glares, closes eyes,goes back to sleep

Repeat ad nausium.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Is it wednesday?
Must remember to put the bins out tonight
Why?
Because they come thursday morning
Why did they come yesterday then?
fark.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Lady wife - "Next time can you clean your muddy boots before walking through the kitchen?!
Dullard moi - "I did sweep up afterwards."
Lady wife - "Jay-suss, what did it look like before?"
Dullard moi - "Passchendaele"
Lady wife - "..."

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Lady wife - "Next time can you clean your muddy boots before walking through the kitchen?!
Dullard moi - "I did sweep up afterwards."
Lady wife - "Jay-suss, what did it look like before?"
Dullard moi - "Passchendaele"
Lady wife - "..."

spent yesterday cleaning the kitchen floor, and cleaning my OH's boots whilst he is away from home... they still need a little more work - I can now see mud on them again and then they need to be re-proofed, but I have until tomorrow evening when he gets home again...

Before

After

 

[Andrew_Culture]

spent yesterday cleaning the kitchen floor, and cleaning my OH's boots whilst he is away from home... they still need a little more work - I can now see mud on them again and then they need to be re-proofed, but I have until tomorrow evening when he gets home again...

Before
View attachment 17317

After
View attachment 17318

That's some impressive cleaning!

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

That's some impressive cleaning!

shame the kitchen floor did not come up as well! I had actually forgotten they were originally blue! problem is I need to repeat that with 6 bikes now.... that's the state of the local roads around here...

 

[Andrew_Culture]

shame the kitchen floor did not come up as well! I had actually forgotten they were originally blue! problem is I need to repeat that with 6 bikes now.... that's the state of the local roads around here...

Same here, all this rain has turned the trench type rural roads into dirt tracks. Long rides invariably turn into involuntary cyclocross.

 

[jayonabike]

Mrs J. "blah blah something or other"
Me. "...."
Mrs J "your not listening to me are you?"
Me "eh?"

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Me: Cough,Cough,Bark,Bark,Rattle,Cough
Merlot Cat: Looks up, glares, closes eyes,goes back to sleep
Me: Cough,Cough,Bark,Bark,Rattle,Cough
Merlot Cat: Looks up, glares, closes eyes,goes back to sleep
Me: Cough,Cough,Bark,Bark,Rattle,Cough
Merlot Cat: Looks up, glares, closes eyes,goes back to sleep

Repeat ad nausium.

Have you tried sucking a fisherman's friend?

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Have you tried sucking a fisherman's friend?

Or Bulls' pistle?

 

[Chromatic]

Have you tried sucking a fisherman's friend?

Come on Fnaar, CC needs you!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

TVC, you could always get your tongue round one of Uncle Joe's balls - that'll clear things up.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

2 ladies in coffee shop...

"Where did the money go?"

"He spent it on going out every night, getting loads of tattoos and a motorbike, basically pissed it all up the wall, you know what blokes are like."

 

[Arch]

I'm working at the back of the hire van, sorting recycling into bags and boxes.

Landlady from annoying boarding house* appears beside me and says; "Are you collecting today?"

I look at her, and then look carefully into the back of the van, rapidly filling with recycling, consider for a moment and reply: "Er, yes".

"Oh! Only you're not in your normal yellow truck thing, so I thought you might just be giving out boxes. Can I bring ours out?"

<sigh> "Yes".

Of course, the unusual van doesn't explain why the boxes weren't already out on the kerbside before we got there as they should be, and normally are...

*It has a relatively transitory population, and they never bother to really work out what's recycling and what isn't. On average, they put out 6 boxes full, and leave behind 2 boxes of non-recyclable rubbish. Landlady once asked for more boxes, and we refused until they learn to use the ones they have!