Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
I hop that doesnt happen to me this year.
"I wanted a Garmin Edge 200 and all I got were some zip ties"
I'd rather have zip ties, massively more useful!
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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I'd rather have zip ties, massively more useful!
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Knock on door:
Random, "Where is number 51?"
My wife, "It doesn't exist..."
(We live in a terrace house, we are 71, our neighbour is 49).
Random, "Where is number 51?"
My wife, "It doesn't exist..."
(We live in a terrace house, we are 71, our neighbour is 49).
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
Wouldn't have happened if they were Loakes.
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
don't talk cobblers
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
Me: (answering home landline phone) Hello
Her: Hi Greg, it's Nnnnnn (an expected lunch guest) what number do you live at?
Me: Number 6
Her: Not Number 14 then?
Me: No. Number 6. We used to live at Number 14.
Her: We're at Number 14.
Me: We're at Number 6.
Her: Are you sure?
Me: Yep, pretty much. (giggling)
Her: Only the people at Number 14 think you might live at number 8?
Me: No, we've never lived there
Her: And you're there now?
Me: Where?
Her: Your house
Me: Yep (giggling hysterically) we're here at Number 6
Her: Not number 8 then?
Me: (scarcely able to speak) No, Number SIX
Her: Okay we are on our way. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
Her: Hi Greg, it's Nnnnnn (an expected lunch guest) what number do you live at?
Me: Number 6
Her: Not Number 14 then?
Me: No. Number 6. We used to live at Number 14.
Her: We're at Number 14.
Me: We're at Number 6.
Her: Are you sure?
Me: Yep, pretty much. (giggling)
Her: Only the people at Number 14 think you might live at number 8?
Me: No, we've never lived there
Her: And you're there now?
Me: Where?
Her: Your house
Me: Yep (giggling hysterically) we're here at Number 6
Her: Not number 8 then?
Me: (scarcely able to speak) No, Number SIX
Her: Okay we are on our way. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
laurence
Veteran
- Location
- in the aeroplane over the sea
not so much dialogue as moment...
volunteering at the wetland centre today and the last event was a bird watching thing. my colleague decided we should head out through the reserve as the walk is at dusk. we get out and the lovely day ends with an unexpected rain shower. we head back as it eases, only to be caught as it larrups down about 10ft from a gate into the captive part of the reserve and i notice a red glow ahead...
the glow gets brighter, it's quite low to the ground and next to the wooden doorway/gate we have to go through. there are double doors as this forms part of the fox-proofing of this area, along with an electric fence, which is approximately where the glow is.
not entirely sure of the sequence of events, but the red glow exploded and a blinding white light shot out from that area just as the entire sky lit up.... the the most enormous bang shook everything.
i actually jumped and ducked at the same time.
we think the electric fence was the strike/discharge point for the lightning. amazingly, it still worked afterwards (one of the staff has checked it out) and there is no damage to be seen.
the one child who was in the group said "that was fun"... the 5 adults (me included) were not so sure.
volunteering at the wetland centre today and the last event was a bird watching thing. my colleague decided we should head out through the reserve as the walk is at dusk. we get out and the lovely day ends with an unexpected rain shower. we head back as it eases, only to be caught as it larrups down about 10ft from a gate into the captive part of the reserve and i notice a red glow ahead...
the glow gets brighter, it's quite low to the ground and next to the wooden doorway/gate we have to go through. there are double doors as this forms part of the fox-proofing of this area, along with an electric fence, which is approximately where the glow is.
not entirely sure of the sequence of events, but the red glow exploded and a blinding white light shot out from that area just as the entire sky lit up.... the the most enormous bang shook everything.
i actually jumped and ducked at the same time.
we think the electric fence was the strike/discharge point for the lightning. amazingly, it still worked afterwards (one of the staff has checked it out) and there is no damage to be seen.
the one child who was in the group said "that was fun"... the 5 adults (me included) were not so sure.
Nigel-YZ1
Guru
- Location
- Somewhere else... maybe soon.
Taxi pulls out from my right, bringing his left rear wheel area 12 inches from my bars, and slows so I nearly hit him. Then speeds off.
Startling the populace of the Kilnhurst/Swinton borders I yell "What's your problem then, idiot?".
Startling the populace of the Kilnhurst/Swinton borders I yell "What's your problem then, idiot?".
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
Overheard
Her1: Are you in the office tomorrow?
Her2: I wasn't planning to be no.
Her1: Why is that then?
Her2: I was going to work from home as I've still got quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do.
At which point I started coughing to alert them to my presence. Cue two very red faces.
Her1: Are you in the office tomorrow?
Her2: I wasn't planning to be no.
Her1: Why is that then?
Her2: I was going to work from home as I've still got quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do.
At which point I started coughing to alert them to my presence. Cue two very red faces.
Chromatic
Legendary Member
- Location
- Gloucestershire
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Wife sat next to me (we're watching TV but i'm away with the fairies)...
'They want to get that cleaned the clatty beggars'
Me...
'eh, what ?'
Wife...'Them on the TV, that cooker needs a good clean'
It was a news article about fuel poverty, showing a gas cooker being lit...she was right, it did need cleaning.
At almost exactly the same time, the dog came walking into the room....with a raw potato in his mouth ...
'You stupid mutt'
'They want to get that cleaned the clatty beggars'
Me...
'eh, what ?'Wife...'Them on the TV, that cooker needs a good clean'
It was a news article about fuel poverty, showing a gas cooker being lit...she was right, it did need cleaning.
At almost exactly the same time, the dog came walking into the room....with a raw potato in his mouth ...
'You stupid mutt'
phil_hg_uk
I am not a member, I am a free man !!!!!!
Whats wrong with that, I will be working from home tomorrow ....................... I have to finish boarding out the loft
Phone caller : Can you call round and give me a price for recovering my sofas ?
Me: Yes certainly what's the name and address ?
Phone caller: One thing ? Can you do it before Christmas ?
Me: Give you a quotation? Yes I think so but it won't be until the end of the week or maybe next Saturday.
Phone caller: No I mean the work, if the price is ok I mean.
Me: Of course not.
Phone caller: Why not ?
Me: Well there simply isn't enough time.
Phone caller: Well how long can it take ? It's only a couple of sofas.
Me: Longer than a week.
Phone caller: Can't you fit me in ?
Me: (getting a little miffed and wondering if this is a wind up) I have worked booked right out until Christmas Eve so, no, I can't fit you in, and why would I ? You haven't even got a price yet let alone picking any cover fabric.
Phone caller: Well come and give me a price anyway.
Me: Look I don't think it's worth my while calling before Christmas I have lots of work to get done but if you like I can call between Christmas and the new year.
Phone caller: Can you do it between Christmas and the new year ?
Me: NO.
Phone caller: Well when CAN you do it ?
Me: Look, even if you accept the price I wouldn't be able to start until at least Feb, probably the end of Feb.
Phone caller: Well you won't get much business carrying on like that. I can't wait that long.
Me: ........................................................................................................................................................................................
Phone caller: What ? Eh ?................................click.
Me: Yes certainly what's the name and address ?
Phone caller: One thing ? Can you do it before Christmas ?
Me: Give you a quotation? Yes I think so but it won't be until the end of the week or maybe next Saturday.
Phone caller: No I mean the work, if the price is ok I mean.
Me: Of course not.
Phone caller: Why not ?
Me: Well there simply isn't enough time.
Phone caller: Well how long can it take ? It's only a couple of sofas.
Me: Longer than a week.
Phone caller: Can't you fit me in ?
Me: (getting a little miffed and wondering if this is a wind up) I have worked booked right out until Christmas Eve so, no, I can't fit you in, and why would I ? You haven't even got a price yet let alone picking any cover fabric.
Phone caller: Well come and give me a price anyway.
Me: Look I don't think it's worth my while calling before Christmas I have lots of work to get done but if you like I can call between Christmas and the new year.
Phone caller: Can you do it between Christmas and the new year ?
Me: NO.
Phone caller: Well when CAN you do it ?
Me: Look, even if you accept the price I wouldn't be able to start until at least Feb, probably the end of Feb.
Phone caller: Well you won't get much business carrying on like that. I can't wait that long.
Me: ........................................................................................................................................................................................
Phone caller: What ? Eh ?................................click.
phil_hg_uk
I am not a member, I am a free man !!!!!!
I am waiting for the person to ring on xmas eve who wants me to supply them with a laptop or tablet that no one has in stock because they have all sold out for xmas, then they would like me to spend my xmas installing all their software on it while they have a nice xmas off ................. happens almost every year and every year the answer is the same 
