Give me some dialogue from your day

[BigonaBianchi]

Okay...so this map my ride app and me arn't exactly a match made in heaven.
Ar%%ggghh&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dellzeqq]

'I had to give Heidi Klum my Lillets'

 

[subaqua]

santa doesn't exist
you are lying daddy.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

"Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Something incomprehensible yelled at me from an orange Corsa earlier. The last few times have all been Corsas, why is this?

 

[phil_hg_uk]

"Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

Something incomprehensible yelled at me from an orange Corsa earlier. The last few times have all been Corsas, why is this?

Coz they are mostly driven by kkkkkkkkknnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooobbbbbbbbbssssssssss

 

[Arch]

[QUOTE 2159832, member: 45"]<sung>

Dance then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the dance settee[/quote]

For many years as a child, my Mum thought the hymn went:

"His first avowed in tent, to be a pilgrim"

She said she even knew what the tent looked like, having seen a picture of the Field of the Cloth of Gold - it was a round stripy tent with a pointy roof, in which pilgrims took vows.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Taking pictures on today's ride:
Ian: let me take this group picture, I'm a professional photographer, did you know?
Me: ok then, make my hair look nice, eh?
Ian: I said photographer not blooming magician!

 

[ianrauk]

Hello!
Hello this is Jimmy from the technical department of your broadband supplier
Jimmy you say?
Yes Jimmy from your technical department of your broadband supplier.
Ok, Jimmy, so who is our broadband supplier?
Yes I need to talk to you about your broadband.
So Jimmy, listen to me ok. Who is our broadband supplier?
Yes your broadband
Yes Jimmy, and who is our broadband supplier?
Virgin Media Broadband?
No it's not Jimmy, would you like to try another guess?
Click..................................................
Oh bye then Jimmy.

 

[slowwww]

I ordered a new front door from B&Q and paid for it to be delivered to home.

When asked when I would like delivery to be made, I asked for next Saturday, only to be told that they don't do Saturday delveries, and so arranged a delivery for the following week

Got back from a day out on Saturday evening and there's a note from B&Q advising that they attempted to make a delivery, but I wasn't in to receive it.

Phoned B&Q to explain what happened and to arrange a new delivery date

B&Q - "When would you like delivery to be made?"
Me - "Next Saturday, please"
B&Q - "Sorry, we don't do Saturday deliveries"
Me - WTF??!!!

 

[Sandra6]

overheard in the garden centre yesterday
mum - which plants do you want?
boy - those,( points)
mum - I don't like those
boy -why don't you choose?
mum - ok.
Smart boy!

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Me: the advice clearly says "at least 15 metres"
Him: Yes so we are looking for you to provide a buffer of 30 metres
Me: Surely if 30 metres was required it would say "30 metres" and not "at least 15 metres"
Him: 30 metres is at least 15 metres
Me: 15 metres is at least 15 metres
Him: I don't think you've quite grasped the point
Me: The point is, surely that the advice is explicit and requires a buffer of 15 point oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-one metres and you've no justification for asking for 30 metres.
Him: Well that is one way of looking at it but 'at least 15 metres' is open to a range of interpretation.
Me: Does "at least 15 metres" mean 1.5km, or 150 metres?"
Him: Well, obviously, no that would be excessive
Me: So "at least 15 metres" is a distance considerably less than 150 metres but considerably greater than 15 metres?
Him: That would be our contention yes
Me: But the written advice, in black and white, clearly and unequivocally says "at least 15m metres". They could have drafted it differently.
Him: Our view is "at least" allows for a considerable degree of interpretation

Some days my job makes me want to head butt a wall.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Not just setting off a few fireworks then.

If only. Scheduled Ancient Woodland in combination with Planning Law.

Take my advice and have nowt to do with it, personally or professionally.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

mathematically "at least 15" implies >=15. So 15 is fine, as is 30, 150 and 10,000.........

 

[laurence]

idiot boss: my database has lost all the search buttons when the virus hit. what is the one for looking at an individual's details called?

me: individual details

what a maroon

 

[TVC]

Answerphone message when I got home:

"Gwwweeer shalloooppp sha sha sha julluuummmaaa (Chuckle) <click>"

I think someone at a call centre is about ready to hand in their notice.