Give me some dialogue from your day

[swee'pea99]

Two (completely unconnected and separate) exchanges from a trip to Ikea:

Him: Is that all you're going to buy?
Her: No


Him: Have you seen what he's doing?
Her: I'm choosing to ignore him

 

[Lee_M]

"You spent how much on a new bike!!!?"

 

[Arch]

Ticket Inspector on train: Tickets please!
Me: Here you are
Him: Who are these for?
Me: Errrrrrr, me?
Him: Only, you've given me two.
Me: Sorry, is it too heavy for you?

Honestly, I've been doing that trip for 2 years now, and no ticket inspector has ever commented before when I hand them both parts of my return ticket. Indeed, I've had one or two ask to see both parts (on the outward trip, admittedly). It would only have taken a second to look at them and see that it was two parts of a return....

 

[jann71]

Shop lady: your barred!
(At 3 kids who pass me as I go into newsagents)
Shop lady: cheeky little *****
Shop lady: they tried to steal naughty mag (top shelf)
Me: lol
They must have been about 10-11year old.
Me: some ferry tickets please

 

[Rezillo]

Two (completely unconnected and separate) exchanges from a trip to Ikea:

Him: Is that all you're going to buy?
Her: No

Him: Have you seen what he's doing?
Her: I'm choosing to ignore him

Mr and Mrs Rezillo at Ikea, Thurrock, a couple of years ago, to get some cd storage units.

Me: That's a nice rack.

Mrs Rezillo: Best not say that too loudly round here.

 

[postman]

This is yesterdays dialogue,hello i wish to cancel my phone contract with you,when it finishes in November,i think i have to give you 30 days notice.
Why
I don't like the Blackberry Curve i have,it's rubbish.
Are you looking somewhwere else.
Yes,Carphone Wharehouse.
What at
Samsung
Just a moment
Would you be happy with it at this price with this,that and this.
Are you serious
YES
Well that is £3 a month cheaper than my present contract.
Yes
I'll take it.
It will be delivered tomorrow,(i am waiting in for it now).

 

[postman]

It's 17-08 and i am still in waiting for these phones.

 

[laurence]

doctor: are you ok?
me: (vomitting into the toilet)
doc: guess not.
me: vomit
doc: does this happen every time you have a blood test?
me: vomit
doctor: closes the toilet door and walks away, leaving me there.

 

[cookiemonster]

Me to client on phone - Our postcode is EC1V
Caller - Can you repeat that
me - Echo Charlie 1 Victor
Caller - Who's charlie?

 

[colly]

Our Lab poos more out than he eats. How does that work?

SNAP !

Same with my dog. I should have called him Perpetual Motion.

 

[laurence]

very little comes out of a Royal Python - maybe one poo a month.

talking of which (the snake, not the poo) he's currently asleep around my as i sit on the sofa. it is incredibly relaxing as his breathing rate drops to a few times a minute and i can feel him. his body will also be the same temperature as me where he is against my skin. feels odd as you can't really 'feel' him, just the weight of his body against mine. hard to describe.

anyway... as he can sleep for weeks at a time, i should wake him up at some point, but he looks so cute.

 

[GrasB]

[QUOTE 2093709, member: 9609"]So does my car - it gets about 45mpg that works out at 63g of fuel / km, but apparently emits 175g of CO2 / km[/quote]
Where do you think those 2 oxygen molecules come from... the fuel or the air

Also a molecule of oxygen is about 1/3 heaver than carbon.

 

[GrasB]

Reiver, Expanding on what Adrian said 1.0g of fuel properly burnt produces 1.45g of water & 3.14g of carbon dioxide. So for your 63g of fuel in you should be getting 198g of CO2, if the fuel was pure & perfectly burnt.

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Ooh, that's scary..... I Iike it!

(A friend of my sister talking about an animation on the screens at the bowling alley this evening.)

 

[gbb]

very little comes out of a Royal Python - maybe one poo a month.

talking of which (the snake, not the poo) he's currently asleep around my as i sit on the sofa. it is incredibly relaxing as his breathing rate drops to a few times a minute and i can feel him. his body will also be the same temperature as me where he is against my skin. feels odd as you can't really 'feel' him, just the weight of his body against mine. hard to describe.

anyway... as he can sleep for weeks at a time, i should wake him up at some point, but he looks so cute.

I know exactly what you mean...a friend had a circa 16ft Burmese Python, georgeous thing. Its like having a dead weight on you, like a heavy cushion. But Christ, see it move at its approximately monthly feed....like an explosion of movement. He used to put a rat corpse on a stick and gingerly place it in the snakes cage. The snake would show interest, and go from stock still concentration to instant lunge for the rat at phenomenal speed, so much so, it made you jump however much you tried to anticipate it.
The had a Jack Russell, both had the run of the house in the evening. They used to lay there...watching each other...suspiciously.