Give me some dialogue from your day

[Darren Jeffrey]

Me to employee: morning pal how's it going

Employee: ah not so good think I have that STD

Me. You mean SAD right cause if not you better get to the docs

 

[threebikesmcginty]

You questioned a volvo driver? Have you no shame?

I've heard that Volvo drivers are handsome, witty, bright and articulate.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

...Me lost in Berlin.......Guten tag...wissen zie wo alexander platz ist...wir kommt mann da mit die U Bahn bitte?

You wot mate...I'm from dagenham

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Hmph!

 

[postman]

The time is 10-04 the place is my lbs,i walk in i see the mech who has repaired my super lovely beautiful Spesh Sectuer Elite,i hand him a bag,it contains not one or two but six sticky sugary donoughts,it is my way of saying thank you for doing my repair.Cost of said repair £8,six donoughts it is the least i could do,he over ruled the previous diagnosis of chain and cassette replacement.How wonderful,he saved me a mint of money.

 

[gbb]

Not dialogue, but a poster in a local pub window: "Now serving home cooked food 7 days a week, Monday to Sunday"

What happens if you're hungry on the 8th day of the week?

Like yours, mine's a notice outside a pub on the way home...
It reads...
'Next Psychic meeting, here, 29th of blah blah'.

If they were that good...

 

[alans]

You questioned a volvo driver? Have you no shame?

burn the heretic

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Beth Jeans Houghton : Do we have a winner of the dancing competition?
Man on sound stage : Yes, this man here
Beth Jeans Houghton : Hello, what's your name?
MossCommuter : MossCommuter
Beth Jeans Houghton : Hello MossCommuter
MossCommuter : Hi

Dunno who Beth J H is, but I thought MC was a lady must be your avatar ...

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Dunno who Beth J H is, but I thought MC was a lady must be your avatar ...

If it's who I think it is I believe she has 'hooves of destiny' installed.

 

[Stringy Bob]

Watching kids TV-with the kids I hasten to add-and there was a programme with one male and one female presenter.

Male presenter to his colleague-Do you mind if I play a little game on your triangle.

 

[marafi]

Watching my session videos with a client.
Mum-Stop watching youtube videos and get on with your work and studying.
Me- Mum I'm watching my counselling sessions not youtube videos!
Mum- who are you talking to then if your watching a video?
Me- Mum its me with my client now please let me finish!
Mum- Come and hover the house when your done.

Honstely so much for me studying on my free day! How charming.

 

[Arch]

NT: So, if we're going to the car boot tomorrow, how do we get there, given that we normally ride along the river?
Me: Oh, its alright, we'll use Bishopthorpe Road.
NT: ok, how do we get there?
Me: We go over Lendal Bridge and turn left as normal and then along.... oh, no, Skeldergate is flooded . No, we go up Coppergate, and right to go over Ouse Bridge and turn lef... oh, no, that's Skeldergate again . No, we go up Coppergate, but we turn left down into Tower Street.... On, no, that's flooded too....

<thinks>

<sigh>

We take the inner ring road, and the FIshergate one way system, and then we go over Skeldergate Bridge, and THEN we're on Bishy Road...

NT: Would it be easier to take the car round the A64?

 

[gbb]

'Err, i think that was me '

As everyone collected outside by the fire marshalling points and the alarms were blaring.
4 inch core bit, drilling a real hard concrete block wall up in a void above an office, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR went the drill, then through the din, i heard another noise in the background ......... oh cr@p.... dust in the smoke detector i hadnt thought about.

 

[gbb]

Kitchen cupboard by the sink has an air brick, it'd always been cold in that corner, the wife has always got on at me to seal it up, I've always rebuffed it own safety grounds...or something.
Having just had a mouse infestation, we think they got in through the air brick, so I've finally (grudgingly) sealed it up.
One hour later, the wife says..
'Told you it'd be warmer in here'
'It was never cold, you wimp' I replied
'Yes it was, I've always told you so'
'It wasn't that cold anyway'

Then she hit me with the killer blow....smugly...
'What would you know, you never spent more than one minute at the sink anyway'

Bugger.....

 

[BigonaBianchi]

me asking the woman at the berlin city boat tour ticket desk where the bus stop is..

Wissen zie wo die bushalterstelle ist?

Ich bin' schiffe' nicht bus

Aber do siehtes nicht wie einer shiffe aus

Na ja...aber bus!

you said it girl...