Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
From last week, sitting at my work, after we'd been fettling the pedal powered smoothie maker:
Me: We could be like Wallace and Gromit. You'd be Wallace, of course.
Night Train: No, you couldn't be Gromit...
Me: Why not?
Night Train: It's a non-speaking part....
Me: <trying to be speechless with indignation, but failing>
My Colleague, who'd heard all this: I notice he didn't say "Because he's a dog...."
Hilarity ensued all round
Me: We could be like Wallace and Gromit. You'd be Wallace, of course.
Night Train: No, you couldn't be Gromit...
Me: Why not?
Night Train: It's a non-speaking part....
Me: <trying to be speechless with indignation, but failing>
My Colleague, who'd heard all this: I notice he didn't say "Because he's a dog...."
Hilarity ensued all round
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
To give you a little background...
I've been working for 3 hours on a mchine that kept tripping out. I found three pieces of damaged cable, all potentially causing the problem. One piece required me to make a new loom, feed it through the bowels of the machine, make drawings of its connections and disconnect various components to get it all in.
Turned the machine back on.....yay, it didnt trip
They'd gone for dinner when i was putting it all back together, so 20 minutes after i'd turned it back on, i went to get mine.
10 minutes later, the workshop door opened....
'Its gone again'
I did get there in the end
I've been working for 3 hours on a mchine that kept tripping out. I found three pieces of damaged cable, all potentially causing the problem. One piece required me to make a new loom, feed it through the bowels of the machine, make drawings of its connections and disconnect various components to get it all in.
Turned the machine back on.....yay, it didnt trip
They'd gone for dinner when i was putting it all back together, so 20 minutes after i'd turned it back on, i went to get mine.
10 minutes later, the workshop door opened....
'Its gone again'
I did get there in the end
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
"It's labyrinthitis Mr Drago. Take three of these tablets a day until you feel slightly less poop"
Sitting outside a cafe sharing a bacon butty with the dog...
Woman1: ...Anyway, they took her in because her stomach was all swollen, blockage in the bowel they said but they didn't know why. Well she was in and out and then it exploded........well, fourteen days after she got it....gone... ruptured bowel....
Me, quietly to the dog: You can have the tomato now, I suddenly don't feel like it.
Dog: Pricks up ears, cocks head, stands up.
Woman2: Remember Eve, married the dance teacher. Well he asked her out years ago and she said no because he didn't dance, so he took it up. Well, he was a nice bloke but you know how dance teachers can be. Well, he went in to see the doctor and ....(she lowers her voice to normal and I can't hear)......straight to the Oncologist, a few days later, gone, so sudden, just like that.
Woman1: They never scanned her. The first Doctor was Spanish and thought it might be indigestion but the hospital had her three days and never did a scan. If they'd done a scan they might have found it. The second one did a runner. They complained and he left. If they'd scanned her.... Chester it was.
Me, walking back to the car with the dog: You don't know how lucky you are being a dog. You only understand words like bacon.
Dog: Pricks up ears and cocks head.
Me: No, I haven't got any, you've already eaten it.
Woman1: ...Anyway, they took her in because her stomach was all swollen, blockage in the bowel they said but they didn't know why. Well she was in and out and then it exploded........well, fourteen days after she got it....gone... ruptured bowel....
Me, quietly to the dog: You can have the tomato now, I suddenly don't feel like it.
Dog: Pricks up ears, cocks head, stands up.
Woman2: Remember Eve, married the dance teacher. Well he asked her out years ago and she said no because he didn't dance, so he took it up. Well, he was a nice bloke but you know how dance teachers can be. Well, he went in to see the doctor and ....(she lowers her voice to normal and I can't hear)......straight to the Oncologist, a few days later, gone, so sudden, just like that.
Woman1: They never scanned her. The first Doctor was Spanish and thought it might be indigestion but the hospital had her three days and never did a scan. If they'd done a scan they might have found it. The second one did a runner. They complained and he left. If they'd scanned her.... Chester it was.
Me, walking back to the car with the dog: You don't know how lucky you are being a dog. You only understand words like bacon.
Dog: Pricks up ears and cocks head.
Me: No, I haven't got any, you've already eaten it.
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
I can personally vouch for the POV that they are not and 3BM is correct2063496 said:
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
unlike.
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Young engineer pointing at a machine panel he needs to get painted grey - "Andrew, you might know... how many shades of grey are there?"
Me - "Fifty, or so I've heard"
Young engineer - "Huh?"
Older engineer stood nearby starts sniggering and going red.
Me - "Fifty, or so I've heard"
Young engineer - "Huh?"
Older engineer stood nearby starts sniggering and going red.
Distant bloke on a bike approaching on the local leisure path, followed by an even more distant dot of a dog..........
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson! Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Slowly the birds begin singing again, curtains stop twitching, people on the path stop looking alarmed and begin talking again....
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson! Hanson!
Hanson!
Hanson!
Slowly the birds begin singing again, curtains stop twitching, people on the path stop looking alarmed and begin talking again....
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Sat in the workshop talking to Lucas, the Polish line leader. Nice chap, he could talk a glass eye to sleep at a thousand paces, but he's always smiling, always enthusiastic.
I'm telling him about Simone, the Portugese machine minder. He's surly, lazy, not interested, always looking for the easy get out. He'd tried to use me as an excuse to let his girlfriend have an easy job. 'Apparently' a labeller i fixed wasnt working, so he let his girlfriend apply the labels by hand (a very easy job you can sit down while doing)...but the labeller IS working. He's trying to pull a fast one..
After relating this to him, i looked at Lucas and said..'Bloody foreigners'
He looked at me....
'I know' he said.
I'm telling him about Simone, the Portugese machine minder. He's surly, lazy, not interested, always looking for the easy get out. He'd tried to use me as an excuse to let his girlfriend have an easy job. 'Apparently' a labeller i fixed wasnt working, so he let his girlfriend apply the labels by hand (a very easy job you can sit down while doing)...but the labeller IS working. He's trying to pull a fast one..
After relating this to him, i looked at Lucas and said..'Bloody foreigners'
He looked at me....
'I know' he said.
- Location
- Glasgow
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Whenever my wife complains to me about one or both daughters I say 'I blame the parents'.
GrasB
Veteran
- Location
- Nr Cambridge
... as an Alfa Romeo driver. The only reliability issues with mine has been of my own making.
