- Location
- Glasgow
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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Night Train
Maker of Things
- Location
- Greater Manchester
Coming out of Aldi with Tiddles I clashed pedals with an electric bike being wheeled towards me by a slightly doddery older bloke.
Him: Your's shouldn't try to take mine on, mine is bigger yours.
Me: Ahh, but according to 'er indoors, it's not the size that matters, it's what you can do with it!
(Mounts Tiddles and pedals off into the 'monsoon'.)
Him: Your's shouldn't try to take mine on, mine is bigger yours.
Me: Ahh, but according to 'er indoors, it's not the size that matters, it's what you can do with it!
(Mounts Tiddles and pedals off into the 'monsoon'.)
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
Me: Well, when they (the internal customer) asks for stuff and you think they are taking the pish say 'No'
Her: When you say 'say No' what do you mean exactly?
Me: I mean say 'No', 'No we can't do that right now' or 'No that isn't a service we offer' or 'No we can't deliver in those time scales.'
Her: Yes I see, but what form of words should I use?
Me: Try starting with 'No'.
Her: Really, though? That's quite blunt.
Me: Yes. Really. 'No.'
Her: Are you sure?
Me: I'm sure. Just say 'No'.
Her: I don't think I can.
Me: Step into my office.
Her: When you say 'say No' what do you mean exactly?
Me: I mean say 'No', 'No we can't do that right now' or 'No that isn't a service we offer' or 'No we can't deliver in those time scales.'
Her: Yes I see, but what form of words should I use?
Me: Try starting with 'No'.
Her: Really, though? That's quite blunt.
Me: Yes. Really. 'No.'
Her: Are you sure?
Me: I'm sure. Just say 'No'.
Her: I don't think I can.
Me: Step into my office.
MossCommuter
Guru
- Location
- Salford
MossCommuter: sudo apt-get dist-upgrade
Ubuntu Linux : 0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 206 to remove and 0 not upgraded. You are about to do something potentially harmful. To continue, type the phrase "Yes, do as I say!"
MossCommuter: "Yes, do as I say!"
...
MossCommuter: "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"
Ubuntu Linux : 0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 206 to remove and 0 not upgraded. You are about to do something potentially harmful. To continue, type the phrase "Yes, do as I say!"
MossCommuter: "Yes, do as I say!"
...
MossCommuter: "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
Woman on the coffee machine in cafe shouts over her shoulder: "can someone wash my jugs please?"
GrasB
Veteran
- Location
- Nr Cambridge
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
Van Driver pulling up alongside as we work in Fossgate: 'Scuse me love, how do I get to High Petergate from here?
Me:
Hang on. 
Um..... Right.... Ok. Yes. You need to go down here to the City walls, through the archway, turn left onto the inner ring. Follow it all the way round to Gillygate - that's a T-junction, where you have the York St John Uni on your right. Turn left, up Gillygate, at the top, turn left through the walls again and you're in Petergate.
<later>
Different Van Driver pulling up alongside as we work in Walmgate (about 500 yards further on): 'Scuse me love, how do I get to Swinegate Lane from here?
Me:
Hang on. Um..... Right.... Ok. Yes. You need to go down here to the City walls, through the archway, turn left onto the inner ring. Follow it all the way round to Gillygate - that's a T-junction, where you have the York St John Uni on your right. Turn left, up Gillygate, at the top, go straight on, then over the next cross roads, then you see Betty's ahead of you, turn left up Stonegate, and Swingate is off there, but I don't know which end of it you need.
In both cases, they were a few minutes walk from where they wanted to be, but thanks to the one way system and York's convoluted little streets, they had to drive round half of the inner city circumference! It's very hard to give directions to drivers when I'm used to being able to walk up one-ways, or cycle through bollards. Even our little work truck can get through some routes that cars can't, because she's narrow enough to get between bollards.
The best was when we were working at the bottom of Claremont Terrace, and a woman pulled up and asked how to get to Castlegate. After a lot of and I had to draw her a map, of a route that involved crossing the river twice!
Me:
Hang on. Um..... Right.... Ok. Yes. You need to go down here to the City walls, through the archway, turn left onto the inner ring. Follow it all the way round to Gillygate - that's a T-junction, where you have the York St John Uni on your right. Turn left, up Gillygate, at the top, turn left through the walls again and you're in Petergate.<later>
Different Van Driver pulling up alongside as we work in Walmgate (about 500 yards further on): 'Scuse me love, how do I get to Swinegate Lane from here?
Me:
Hang on. Um..... Right.... Ok. Yes. You need to go down here to the City walls, through the archway, turn left onto the inner ring. Follow it all the way round to Gillygate - that's a T-junction, where you have the York St John Uni on your right. Turn left, up Gillygate, at the top, go straight on, then over the next cross roads, then you see Betty's ahead of you, turn left up Stonegate, and Swingate is off there, but I don't know which end of it you need.In both cases, they were a few minutes walk from where they wanted to be, but thanks to the one way system and York's convoluted little streets, they had to drive round half of the inner city circumference! It's very hard to give directions to drivers when I'm used to being able to walk up one-ways, or cycle through bollards. Even our little work truck can get through some routes that cars can't, because she's narrow enough to get between bollards.
The best was when we were working at the bottom of Claremont Terrace, and a woman pulled up and asked how to get to Castlegate. After a lot of
and I had to draw her a map, of a route that involved crossing the river twice!
cookiemonster
Squire
- Location
- Hong Kong
BF to me - you know, when I'm with you my IQ drops a few percentage points.
BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
erm...diet coke...lemonade with lime and three bags of crisps please...
£9
W T F !!!!!!!
£9
W T F !!!!!!!
BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
there was only 2 of us mate...
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
Taxi driver pulled up beside me while we're rolling along, very charming and polite:
"Ere mate, your back light is difficult to see behind your mudguard... The one of your helmet is fine though,"
"Thank you, that's very useful to know."
(I don't have any mudguards)
"Ere mate, your back light is difficult to see behind your mudguard... The one of your helmet is fine though,"
"Thank you, that's very useful to know."
(I don't have any mudguards)
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
Dad, what's the future?
It's everything after now, could be 5 seconds, 5 minutes, 5 years, 5 decades - it's everything that's in front of us.
Is the telly the future?
No, why?
Because it's in front of me.
It's everything after now, could be 5 seconds, 5 minutes, 5 years, 5 decades - it's everything that's in front of us.
Is the telly the future?
No, why?
Because it's in front of me.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Me....'Peg, here, here boy, c'mon'
Peg, our labrador, real name Jake, for some reason we took to calling him peg, for 'jake the peg'...with a dodgy leg
..he's got bad hips (but you wouldnt know it right now)
So i'm washing the car, he's out with me but off the lead, sniffing, searching, sniffing, weeing, sniffing. A garden gate opens nearby and he's in like a shot...the people came out all fussing over him, he's gladly accepting it, tail wagging..happy happy happy.
I love dogs...so easily pleased, so happy, so everything....shame he poops non stop
'
Peg, our labrador, real name Jake, for some reason we took to calling him peg, for 'jake the peg'...with a dodgy leg
..he's got bad hips (but you wouldnt know it right now)So i'm washing the car, he's out with me but off the lead, sniffing, searching, sniffing, weeing, sniffing. A garden gate opens nearby and he's in like a shot...the people came out all fussing over him, he's gladly accepting it, tail wagging..happy happy happy.
I love dogs...so easily pleased, so happy, so everything....shame he poops non stop
'
Sara_H
Guru
Our Lab poos more out than he eats. How does that work?
Me....'Peg, here, here boy, c'mon'
Peg, our labrador, real name Jake, for some reason we took to calling him peg, for 'jake the peg'...with a dodgy leg
So i'm washing the car, he's out with me but off the lead, sniffing, searching, sniffing, weeing, sniffing. A garden gate opens nearby and he's in like a shot...the people came out all fussing over him, he's gladly accepting it, tail wagging..happy happy happy.
I love dogs...so easily pleased, so happy, so everything....shame he poops non stop
'
