Give me some dialogue from your day

[Cavalol]

This (unfortunately) is more from my daughter's day. Some poor fella tipped over in front of her, she rang an ambulance with as much information as she could muster (male, probably in his 80s, seems concussed but can speak) and was told the ambulance would take up to 2 hours.
5 minutes later some proper sad case rocks up and says 'Trouble here is he's the wrong colour'. When questioned what he was on about, he said that the ambulance would have turned up in 15 minutes if he'd been black or brown (his words, not my daughter's).

God alone knows how an emergency call answerer can tell what colour someone is from 'male, probably in his 80s, seems concussed but can speak'.

I fully expect this moron would of course refuse to be seen by an overseas NHS worker if he was in an accident

 

[Andy in Germany]

Working in the workshop last week, I had this conversation with a client:

Client: Where did you live before you moved here?
AinG: When I first moved to Germany, I lived in Landsberg am Lech.
Client: Oh, I know that town.
AinG: It's a nice town, isn't it?
Client: I didn't see the town much; I was in prison there...

 

[wiggydiggy]

Overheard in a Leeds beer garden:

"The reason they're finding more sewage in the rivers, is because their testing more"

Guess we should stop testing and the rivers will become clean then 🤷

 

[Emanresu]

"I'm your Conservative Candidate - could you get your dogs please"

Was just going out and the dogs like to ride in the back so opened the tailgate remotely, then let them out the door. Unfortunately there were a crowd of strangers coming up our quiet cul-de-sac with leaflets in hand and the dogs wanted to see them off. First apology issued.

The only door knockers here are the postman or Jehovah's witnesses. Never seen a candidate for almost a decade. Nice fellow and had to make a second apology we had already voted for a local independent. He'll get in though. A donkey with a blue rosette would win here.

 

[All uphill]

I'm just back from the supermarket; near the hospital I found myself waiting at the lights with a guy in his thirties.

I said, referring to our bikes:

" Best way to get about"

He said

"If all my patients did this, half of them wouldn't be my patients"

 

[Drago]

Me "have you not heard of the new law where you are supposed to give way to people crossing or waiting to cross at a junction?"

Driver "yes"

Me "then why did you try to run me over?"

Driver "but you didn't look"

Me "I did look, and thankfully saw a scrawny prat driving a **** heap trying to run me over."

I will admit I was a bit full or adrenaline and was trying to wind the scrany little turd up so he'd get out and have a go and I could wipe him around the landscape in the name of self defence, but he wasn't biting. But what kind of prat admits they know the law then breaks it anyway?

 

[Andy in Germany]

But what kind of prat admits they know the law then breaks it anyway?

A motorist.

 

[Drago]

A motorist.

Good point, well made.

 

[bruce1530]

Not really "Dialogue", but status update from a courier:

• Your parcel is expected to be delivered today, probably between 0700 and 13.30
• Your parcel is now at our national hub (Birmingham) and is expected to be delivered by 13.30 (I'm in Scotland)
• Your parcel will be delivered today by 17.30
• Your parcel will be delivered "By end of day".

According to the detailed tracking, it's still 300 miles away in Birmingham...

 

[ColinJ]

Pal: Grange-over-Sands is probably the kind of place that old people like us retire to.

ColinJ: I've noticed quite a few young people today...

Pal: They are probably just tourists!

ColinJ: I don't think that you have any evidence for your assertion...

(We walk down the road and stop at a shop to buy a postcard.)

ColinJ: Actually, you might be right!!!

 

[Chris S]

I've just had a sales call informing me that traditional loft insulation can cause condensation and rot.

 

[Hover Fly]

Pal: Grange-over-Sands is probably the kind of place that old people like us retire to.

ColinJ: I've noticed quite a few young people today...

Pal: They are probably just tourists!

ColinJ: I don't think that you have any evidence for your assertion...

(We walk down the road and stop at a shop to buy a postcard.)

ColinJ: Actually, you might be right!!!

View attachment 741835

Known locally as “God’s waiting room”.

 

[ColinJ]

I've just had a sales call informing me that traditional loft insulation can cause condensation and rot.

Traditional not, but spray foam insulation - YES!!!

I didn't understand that the roof condensation thing was such a big problem. Then today, my sister was driving me past this building...

View attachment 677624

She asked if I could guess what caused it...

Gas explosion?

Nope - dodgy roof insulation with expanding foam causing condensation which rotted the roof timbers!

YIKES!!!

 

[mistyoptic]

I've just had a sales call informing me that traditional loft insulation can cause condensation and rot.

I had that. “Did I know what insulation we had?”

I said I knew we were registered with Telephone Preference and then hung up…

 

[Moon bunny]

Pal: Grange-over-Sands is probably the kind of place that old people like us retire to.

ColinJ: I've noticed quite a few young people today...

Pal: They are probably just tourists!

ColinJ: I don't think that you have any evidence for your assertion...

(We walk down the road and stop at a shop to buy a postcard.)

ColinJ: Actually, you might be right!!!

View attachment 741835

Although it should be noted that the best fish and chips cafe in the North west of England and therefore the world is in Grange.