Give me some dialogue from your day

[ColinJ]

Me, to my sister and niece, before they left: "Have you got my spare walking boots to take back to Devon?"

Sister: "Yes, I put them in the car."

Me, on phone 1 minute later: "Those walking boots don't want to leave... They must have sneaked out of the car when your back was turned, and are now hiding under a chair in my kitchen!"

 

[Speicher]

Me, to my sister and niece, before they left: "Have you got my spare walking boots to take back to Devon?"

Sister: "Yes, I put them in the car."

Me, on phone 1 minute later: "Those walking boots don't want to leave... They must have sneaked out of the car when your back was turned, and are now hiding under a chair in my kitchen!"

Did they take a different pair of walking boots, leaving you with the spare ones?

 

[ColinJ]

Did they take a different pair of walking boots, leaving you with the spare ones?

No - she had been thinking of her own boots!

Fortunately, they were only just down the road so they came back for the boots.

I have slowly built up a stash of clothes and bike spares/tools in Devon so I can now travel down with just one medium sized rucksack. The spare boots were for the stash.

 

[Chief Broom]

" Quack quack" i said in a loud urgent tone...i did consider saying "mind out ducks" but of course the twenty or so mallards waddling around on the single track wouldnt understand that...

 

[Andy in Germany]

Sometimes I love my client's humour. One turned up this week after a vanishing a few days.

AinG: So... what happened; were you sick?
Client: Um... not exactly... On the weekend, we got a few grams of marijuana (legal in Germany) and made cookies...
AinG: Ah, right... and that's why you were off sick?
Client: Um yeah... I mean... (cough) Something was wrong, man, like, It must have been um... the butter; yeah, the butter had turned, man. Gotta be careful with um... butter...

 

[rvw]

In the local bakery:

Me: I'll have a seeded sourdough, sliced, and can I also have 2 mince pies to take away?
Assistant: Yes, sure, but if you get three mince pies it's cheaper.
Me: (looks at sign saying Mince pies £3.25 in, £2.75 out, 3 for £9) ..... no they aren't!

 

[Profpointy]

In the local bakery:

Me: I'll have a seeded sourdough, sliced, and can I also have 2 mince pies to take away?
Assistant: Yes, sure, but if you get three mince pies it's cheaper.
Me: (looks at sign saying Mince pies £3.25 in, £2.75 out, 3 for £9) ..... no they aren't!

Isn't that one of those clever marketing tricks intended to manipulate people into buying 3 mince pies separately rather of as a deal, when someone only intended to buy two?

 

[Electric_Andy]

In the local bakery:

Me: I'll have a seeded sourdough, sliced, and can I also have 2 mince pies to take away?
Assistant: Yes, sure, but if you get three mince pies it's cheaper.
Me: (looks at sign saying Mince pies £3.25 in, £2.75 out, 3 for £9) ..... no they aren't!

It's what my Gran would have called "cheaper, after the rate". But yes, it is a marketing ploy to make us think that buying 3 for slightly more than 2 singles is a good deal, which it only is if you want 3 in the first place! And some people can't count

 

[rvw]

Isn't that one of those clever marketing tricks intended to manipulate people into buying 3 mince pies separately rather of as a deal, when someone only intended to buy two?

It was definitely a bit daft (and the assistant probably even less bright) as they had packaged the sets of three nicely in boxes. So as the only way they were cheaper was to eat in, they would not only be selling them cheaper but they would also have to take them out of the box and throw it away - which would be a cost.

At a guess, the intention was to have nice presentation boxes to take away, with a small (75p) uplift for the nice box as opposed to the usual dull brown one - which would be entirely fair, but the assistant got the wrong end of the stick.

 

[Chris S]

I asked the man in my local post office why he had about a dozen £20 notes pinned to the back wall. He said that they were all fakes.

 

[Gwylan]

" Quack quack" i said in a loud urgent tone...i did consider saying "mind out ducks" but of course the twenty or so mallards waddling around on the single track wouldnt understand that...

Probably the wrong dialect.

 

[Gwylan]

Sometimes I love my client's humour. One turned up this week after a vanishing a few days.

AinG: So... what happened; were you sick?
Client: Um... not exactly... On the weekend, we got a few grams of marijuana (legal in Germany) and made cookies...
AinG: Ah, right... and that's why you were off sick?
Client: Um yeah... I mean... (cough) Something was wrong, man, like, It must have been um... the butter; yeah, the butter had turned, man. Gotta be careful with um... butter...

Like girlfriend known as "nine"
I'd been out with her at a do, and she had 9 gins and tonics during the evening. She was poorly, of course.

Later she was confronted over the amount she drank.

No, she responded it wasn't the gin. The peanuts were off!

 

[gbb]

As I pulled into a parking spot NEXT to parent and child spots, a car behind pipped his hooter,,,
I got out and ambled to his car...what's up mate ?
Where's your children, that's a parent parking space ? ( he wasn't rude or aggressive, just verry slightly indignant )
Me...It's not a parent child parking space mate...its an EV space
Oh, I'm really sorry...
No problem (said with a smile and a wink)

All very relaxed and the way things should be done, it's so easy for people to get overly wound up in a few secondd

 

[Andy in Germany]

Very odd one today. We administer all the lost and abandoned bikes in Tübingen, and for this the city rents a warehouse to keep them in; this is a responsibility I'm taking over.

Today one of the city staff that occasionally delivers bikes was told, inaccurately, that we planned to use it to store 50 donated bikes that were arriving this morning, and for some reason he really got one on him. By the time he came to my boss and I, this person had worked himself into a fine froth and marched over our car park shouting as he did in the pseudo jovial manner of someone pretending to be polite while intending to give someone a b*ll*cking:

City employee (CE): "Now what's this I hear about you using our warehouse to store your bikes? That isn't your warehouse and we pay [lots] in rent every year to keep that, I'm not impressed to hear that you are using it for your bikes: we need that space free so we can put all our bikes in there and if we find it full of someone else's that's out of order and...
(This goes on for some time, until...)
Boss: I'm not sure why they told you that, we only use the warehouse for the abandoned and lost bikes or bikes the police give us; donated bikes stay here.
CE: But there were more bikes here last week, and they're all gone.
AinG (me): Yes, those were brought from [bike parking facility that belongs to the city]; they were abandoned. We've documented them and taken them to the warehouse.
CE: (Pause) Well that's all very well, but you can't go using our warehouse to store your bikes.
Boss: We know that, these donated bikes will be sold onto [Bike repairman] this week.
CE: Fine, but I'n telling you our warehouse is not for you to store donated bikes, it is only for bikes that were abandoned or lost, and I'm not at all happy with this.
Boss: With what? We only lost and abandoned bikes from the city are in the warehouse, as agreed.
CE: I'm not happy that you are using our warehouse for your bikes. It's not there for that, and we pay [lots] every year to have the space. You don't pay for it, the city does, and you have no business using it for your bikes...
AinG: Here's a plan of the warehouse and the bikes in there. Every bay has a date on it (bikes are kept for six months for owners to reclaim them) so we know when they'll be free for us to dispose of. That's all that is there: our bikes are here.
CE: That's all very well, but you can't go using our warehouse to store your bikes (and on, and on, while my boss and I look at each other wondering if this person is on the same planet...)

 

[Gwylan]

Very odd one today. We administer all the lost and abandoned bikes in Tübingen, and for this the city rents a warehouse to keep them in; this is a responsibility I'm taking over.

Today one of the city staff that occasionally delivers bikes was told, inaccurately, that we planned to use it to store 50 donated bikes that were arriving this morning, and for some reason he really got one on him. By the time he came to my boss and I, this person had worked himself into a fine froth and marched over our car park shouting as he did in the pseudo jovial manner of someone pretending to be polite while intending to give someone a b*ll*cking:

City employee (CE): "Now what's this I hear about you using our warehouse to store your bikes? That isn't your warehouse and we pay [lots] in rent every year to keep that, I'm not impressed to hear that you are using it for your bikes: we need that space free so we can put all our bikes in there and if we find it full of someone else's that's out of order and...
(This goes on for some time, until...)
Boss: I'm not sure why they told you that, we only use the warehouse for the abandoned and lost bikes or bikes the police give us; donated bikes stay here.
CE: But there were more bikes here last week, and they're all gone.
AinG (me): Yes, those were brought from [bike parking facility that belongs to the city]; they were abandoned. We've documented them and taken them to the warehouse.
CE: (Pause) Well that's all very well, but you can't go using our warehouse to store your bikes.
Boss: We know that, these donated bikes will be sold onto [Bike repairman] this week.
CE: Fine, but I'n telling you our warehouse is not for you to store donated bikes, it is only for bikes that were abandoned or lost, and I'm not at all happy with this.
Boss: With what? We only lost and abandoned bikes from the city are in the warehouse, as agreed.
CE: I'm not happy that you are using our warehouse for your bikes. It's not there for that, and we pay [lots] every year to have the space. You don't pay for it, the city does, and you have no business using it for your bikes...
AinG: Here's a plan of the warehouse and the bikes in there. Every bay has a date on it (bikes are kept for six months for owners to reclaim them) so we know when they'll be free for us to dispose of. That's all that is there: our bikes are here.
CE: That's all very well, but you can't go using our warehouse to store your bikes (and on, and on, while my boss and I look at each other wondering if this person is on the same planet...)

A good paddy trumps rational thought.