Give me some dialogue from your day

[EltonFrog]

On Saturday, I'm minding my own business, pondering the intricacies of the cheap metal catch of the Black and Decker wheeled tool box in B&Q when a lady approached me and says,

"Do you know where they keep the bicycle pumps?"

"Next door in Halfords" says I.

"oh" says she, "I'll go there then", she continued on her way as if I had inconvenienced her somehow.

Most Odd.

 

[annedonnelly]

On Saturday, I'm minding my own business, pondering the intricacies of the cheap metal catch of the Black and Decker wheeled tool box in B&Q when a lady approached me and says,

"Do you know where they keep the bicycle pumps?"

"Next door in Halfords" says I.

"oh" says she, "I'll go there then", she continued on her way as if I had inconvenienced her somehow.

Most Odd.

A guy I worked with often got mistaken for a member of staff in M&S with customers asking where things were, etc. He'd only gone in to buy his lunch

 

[bruce1530]

A guy I worked with often got mistaken for a member of staff in M&S with customers asking where things were, etc. He'd only gone in to buy his lunch

My in-laws were heading to a wedding somewhere near Oban - so quite smartly dressed. Driving north alongside Loch Lomond, they decided they needed a "comfort break" and stopped at a smal hotel. No intention of buying anything, just slipped into the lobby and headed for the toilets.

Father-in-law, of course, was out first, so stood in the lobby, wearing jacket and tie, waiting for his wife.

A bus party of old ladies emerged from the dining room, heading back to their bus. Every one of them stopped at my Father--in-law, shook his hand and said "Thank you, that was a lovely meal"

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Several times over the years (ahem, decades) whilst popping into a supermarket to grab a sarnie, in my "business attire" I have been asked "Where do you keep the......?"

Always try and help, but to be honest, every one of them would probably have found what they were looking for more efficiently, without my "assistance".

 

[Speicher]

I made the mistake once of going into a fish and chip shop while I was carrying a small briefcase.

The man behind the counter starting shouting things like, "We are not buying anything from you, we don't deal with cold callers, you can leave now!"

I thought he was shouting at someone behind me, and I politely asked for a small cod and chips. He looked stunned, other staff were laughing, and when I looked around, there was no one behind me.

 

[Windle]

I made the mistake once of going into a fish and chip shop while I was carrying a small briefcase.

The man behind the counter starting shouting things like, "We are not buying anything from you, we don't deal with cold callers, you can leave now!"

I thought he was shouting at someone behind me, and I politely asked for a small cod and chips. He looked stunned, other staff were laughing, and when I looked around, there was no one behind me.

I would have instructed him to misplace his fish and chips where the sun don't shine and gone somewhere else.

 

[Speicher]

I would have instructed him to misplace his fish and chips where the sun don't shine and gone somewhere else.

It is a very good fish and chip shop, and I thought he must be shouting at someone behind me. It was not until after I placed my order, that I realised there was no one behind me. I think I was on my Lunch break, and was going to my eat my meal in the park,

 

[All uphill]

I'm in Harwich to catch the ferry.

In the town I overheard two young women:

"E ain't worf it!"
"Yeh, but I want to have his babeez!"

Does life imitate art? Sounded so much like a soap opera to me.

 

[Chris S]

I made the mistake once of going into a fish and chip shop while I was carrying a small briefcase.

The man behind the counter starting shouting things like, "We are not buying anything from you, we don't deal with cold callers, you can leave now!"

I thought he was shouting at someone behind me, and I politely asked for a small cod and chips. He looked stunned, other staff were laughing, and when I looked around, there was no one behind me.

The same sort of thing happened to me when I walked into a shop carrying a document folder.

 

[ColinJ]

I was walking up a staircase at Birmingham New St station today. Ahead of me, a woman was desperately struggling with the biggest suitcase that I have ever seen.

ColinJ: Do you need help with that suitcase?

Woman (gasping for breath): Huh, oh, YES PLEASE!

I took hold of the handle in my left hand and... failed to budge the case!

She then also took hold of the handle. Between us we just managed to drag the case up to the top.

ColinJ (gasping for breath): Strewth, no wonder you were struggling - that really IS heavy!

Woman (gasping for breath): TOO damn heavy!!!

She wheeled the case across the concourse as I stood there wondering what the heck was in the case that weighed so much? The limbless torso of her most recent victim perhaps...?

 

[ColinJ]

I was out on a ride near Crediton today testing my new 32C tyres. Things didn't feel right - too much rolling resistance and the rear tyre felt like it was going flat... I stopped to investigate on a narrow lane. It turned out that the problem was due to a silly mistake by me - I had pumped up the tyres before the ride but had got distracted before I had finished. I had left the rear Presta valve untightened and air must have been leaking out. I started pumping the tyre back up but was interrupted by a car coming towards me. It slowed down and the driver wound down his window. I prepared myself for a torrent of abuse about 'blocking the road' ...

Driver: Hello. Is everything okay?

ColinJ: Er, yes - my tyre is just a bit soft so it needs more pressure.

Driver: Do you have everything that you need?

ColinJ: Yes, I DO, but thank you very much for asking!

Driver: Well, enjoy your ride then.

Nice people round these parts!!

 

[Chris S]

I was walking up a staircase at Birmingham New St station today. Ahead of me, a woman was desperately struggling with the biggest suitcase that I have ever seen.

ColinJ: Do you need help with that suitcase?

Woman (gasping for breath): Huh, oh, YES PLEASE!

I took hold of the handle in my left hand and... failed to budge the case!

She then also took hold of the handle. Between us we just managed to drag the case up to the top.

ColinJ (gasping for breath): Strewth, no wonder you were struggling - that really IS heavy!

Woman (gasping for breath): TOO damn heavy!!!

She wheeled the case across the concourse as I stood there wondering what the heck was in the case that weighed so much? The limbless torso of her most recent victim perhaps...?

I'm amazed by the number of people I've seen do that. They don't seem to realize that there are lifts on every platform.

 

[Profpointy]

I was walking up a staircase at Birmingham New St station today. Ahead of me, a woman was desperately struggling with the biggest suitcase that I have ever seen.

ColinJ: Do you need help with that suitcase?

Woman (gasping for breath): Huh, oh, YES PLEASE!

I took hold of the handle in my left hand and... failed to budge the case!

She then also took hold of the handle. Between us we just managed to drag the case up to the top.

ColinJ (gasping for breath): Strewth, no wonder you were struggling - that really IS heavy!

Woman (gasping for breath): TOO damn heavy!!!

She wheeled the case across the concourse as I stood there wondering what the heck was in the case that weighed so much? The limbless torso of her most recent victim perhaps...?

She was probably a sales representative for anvils

 

[ColinJ]

She was probably a sales representative for anvils

I was seriously shocked by how heavy the case was - I would guess 60+ kg. (Hence the torso comment!! )

 

[Andy in Germany]

I'm amazed by the number of people I've seen do that. They don't seem to realize that there are lifts on every platform.

They're too desperate to get out of New Street to waste time looking.