Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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swee'pea99
Legendary Member
(Following an earlier 'discussion')...
Youngest (resentful glower): I'm going out for a coffee
Me: Fine...
(after pursuing her into the hall): I don't need you to tell me when you're going out, I'd just appreciate it if you'd let us know if you're going to be out all night.
Youngest (resentful glower): I'm going out for a coffee
Me: Fine...
(after pursuing her into the hall): I don't need you to tell me when you're going out, I'd just appreciate it if you'd let us know if you're going to be out all night.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Not even sure what a "grooming product" is. Is it just soap and a toothbrush or am I missing out on something?
marknotgeorge
Hol den Vorschlaghammer!
- Location
- Derby.
Discussing plans for my friend Paul's birthday with my friend Dougal...
Me: The plan is to go to their [Paul & gf Sarah's] narrowboat, find a small town and impress them with our city ways.
D: We're going to die, aren't we?
Me: The plan is to go to their [Paul & gf Sarah's] narrowboat, find a small town and impress them with our city ways.
D: We're going to die, aren't we?
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Attachments
Not me but my sons partner. She sent me a pic of her little lad sitting looking miserable with tear streaked cheeks.
Caption : Free to a good home !
I called her a horrible woman and asked what she had done to make him so sad.
She replied:
Made him go to bed. He has been a little bugger all day long. I put him to bed and I got in the bath. 10 mins later he came in the bathroom and I told him to go back to bed. His reply was ''No am being an arse''
30 months old ! Far too wise.
Caption : Free to a good home !
I called her a horrible woman and asked what she had done to make him so sad.
She replied:
Made him go to bed. He has been a little bugger all day long. I put him to bed and I got in the bath. 10 mins later he came in the bathroom and I told him to go back to bed. His reply was ''No am being an arse''
30 months old ! Far too wise.
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
A supervisor is getting impatient, a machine isn't working...
''What about this, how about trying that, I think it's this...' he hurriedly sprouted, he's already decided what I the problem is, but he's just guessing TBH.
'It's one of two things, we just have to try a couple things to isolate which one' I replied
'I am a bit impatient at times' he admitted.
'It's not going to be quick, gonna swap these bits out and see what happens, it's not always a two minute fix, this is going to take half an hour'
Put your trust in us my friend and slow down....
''What about this, how about trying that, I think it's this...' he hurriedly sprouted, he's already decided what I the problem is, but he's just guessing TBH.
'It's one of two things, we just have to try a couple things to isolate which one' I replied
'I am a bit impatient at times' he admitted.
'It's not going to be quick, gonna swap these bits out and see what happens, it's not always a two minute fix, this is going to take half an hour'
Put your trust in us my friend and slow down....
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
I'm playing Top trumps, pet dog version with my granddaughters. Hollies (11) is out. Aimee and myself have see sawed back and forth for an eternity, one amassing loads of cards then the other.
'OK, let's count cards and whoever has got most wins..yeah ?'
'OK
' she replied.
There's only 20 cards total, I start counting mine...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ,9, 10...and quickly flick them round, '11, 12' , up to 20'
She looks up
, I carry on...
'29, 30, 31...'
She frowns thoughtfully, her face changing as her thought process does..
'MUUUUM, GRANDADS CHEATING !!!!!'
Hollie, who'd already lost....'Grandad !!!'
'OK, let's count cards and whoever has got most wins..yeah ?'
'OK
' she replied.There's only 20 cards total, I start counting mine...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ,9, 10...and quickly flick them round, '11, 12' , up to 20'
She looks up
, I carry on...'29, 30, 31...'
She frowns thoughtfully, her face changing as her thought process does..
'MUUUUM, GRANDADS CHEATING !!!!!'
Hollie, who'd already lost....'Grandad !!!'
Whilst cycling over to see No1 daughter this afternoon I was hailed by my granddaughter and a couple of her friends, 5 and 8 yrs old, playing on the swings by her house. One of the lads had an egg sized lump on his forehead.
Me 'Smashing bruise Ollie. Great colours! (5yrs old) How did ya get that?'
Ollie 'I was doing a wheelie off the kerb on my scooter and it flipped up and I fell off backwards and hit my head'
Me 'So how come the bruise is on the front of your head?'
Ollie 'Dunno, but it didn't hurt anyway!'
Me 'Scooter OK?'
Ollie 'Yeah, but dad said I can't do wheelies on it till I'm bigger'
Apparently he'd had to go to hospital to get it checked out due to the size of the lump...
Me 'Smashing bruise Ollie. Great colours! (5yrs old) How did ya get that?'
Ollie 'I was doing a wheelie off the kerb on my scooter and it flipped up and I fell off backwards and hit my head'
Me 'So how come the bruise is on the front of your head?'
Ollie 'Dunno, but it didn't hurt anyway!'
Me 'Scooter OK?'
Ollie 'Yeah, but dad said I can't do wheelies on it till I'm bigger'
Apparently he'd had to go to hospital to get it checked out due to the size of the lump...
Shortandcrisp
Über Member
Listening to the wife over lunch. Names have been changed.
" You remember Ruth who was with Ron Hayward? She wasn't married to him. Her surname was already Hayward so they didn't bother getting married.
She was married to Paul before ( whose name was Hayward), but she left him to shack up with Ron. And then she left him as well"
Me: "Are, I see, so she went back to Paul."
The wife: "No, Ruth went back to her mother's. Paul married someone else called Ruth!"
" You remember Ruth who was with Ron Hayward? She wasn't married to him. Her surname was already Hayward so they didn't bother getting married.
She was married to Paul before ( whose name was Hayward), but she left him to shack up with Ron. And then she left him as well"
Me: "Are, I see, so she went back to Paul."
The wife: "No, Ruth went back to her mother's. Paul married someone else called Ruth!"
gbb
Squire
- Location
- Peterborough
Me to BMW driver...
'You wanna put the phone down'
I'd driven a 2 mile straight section of fairly straight quiet back road...BMW driver I can see is catching me up so he/she is fairly exceeding the speed limit, though not going mad. I reach a T junction and female BMW driver is now waiting behind me, intently talking into her phone, clamped to her ear. I negotiate the junction which incidently needs some care, over a bridge and immediately turn left. Dodgy junction, followed immediately by another junction on a humpback bridge, followed immediately by another left junction...a busy spot that needs attention. BMW driver has now caught me up again, slewed a bit trying to negotiate the left turn, phone still clamped to her ear.
Enough I thought...as you're on the phone, I'm looking at the spot the floral tributes were left where a woman cyclist was killed a couple years ago, and you're all over the road ( a slight exaggeration but not in control).... I put my hazards on and slow to a stop, climb out the car and tell her, ...'you wanna....'
Her hands went up in apology, I got in the car and carried on.
I'm not perfect and have in the past transgressed, but there comes a time when you should learn, especially when it's a known dangerous spot.
Surely a modern Beemer has the ability to hands free ?, crikey, even my Astra has.
Edited to add...no aggression shown to the woman driver, just a firm few words.
'You wanna put the phone down'
I'd driven a 2 mile straight section of fairly straight quiet back road...BMW driver I can see is catching me up so he/she is fairly exceeding the speed limit, though not going mad. I reach a T junction and female BMW driver is now waiting behind me, intently talking into her phone, clamped to her ear. I negotiate the junction which incidently needs some care, over a bridge and immediately turn left. Dodgy junction, followed immediately by another junction on a humpback bridge, followed immediately by another left junction...a busy spot that needs attention. BMW driver has now caught me up again, slewed a bit trying to negotiate the left turn, phone still clamped to her ear.
Enough I thought...as you're on the phone, I'm looking at the spot the floral tributes were left where a woman cyclist was killed a couple years ago, and you're all over the road ( a slight exaggeration but not in control).... I put my hazards on and slow to a stop, climb out the car and tell her, ...'you wanna....'
Her hands went up in apology, I got in the car and carried on.
I'm not perfect and have in the past transgressed, but there comes a time when you should learn, especially when it's a known dangerous spot.
Surely a modern Beemer has the ability to hands free ?, crikey, even my Astra has.
Edited to add...no aggression shown to the woman driver, just a firm few words.
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