Give me some dialogue from your day

[Mad Doug Biker]

Rockaay, these were a:

Drumstick Caipriovska, which has... had Stoli Razberi Vodka, Stoli vanil vodka, syrup and lime, not to mention a 'Drumstick' lolly on the side (the best bit IMHO)

And an:

Um-Bongo, which had Stoli original, lychee liquer, apple juice and passoa (whatever that is).

I think I would have remembered (or possibly not) if I had drank them regularly as a kid!

 

[ColinJ]

I rode out to meet a friend at a local hilltop cafe this afternoon. The woman in the cafe was in the kitchen area at the back of the cafe when I arrived and spotted me standing in front of the counter. She took my order from the kitchen and said that she would bring it out to me. (I was planning to sit at a table in front of the cafe.)

I chatted to my pal, drank my coffee, and ate my scone and jam. Eventually, it was time to head for home. I got back on my bike and rode off up the road. 5 minutes later I realised that I had not been into the cafe to settle my bill. I u-turned and went back.

Cafe woman: Hello again!

ColinJ: Hi. I forgot to pay my bill.

Woman: What, for the coffee and scone?

CJ: Yes, you were busy in the kitchen so you told me to pay later when you were back at the till.

Woman: Oh, yes, that's very honest of you - I forgot!

CJ: Aren't ALL of your customers honest?

Woman: NO!!!

 

[Lullabelle]

I drank gin and orange in my childhood

That would explain a lot

 

[Turdus philomelos]

'a taste from your childhood'.

Have ye no tried a Crazy Vimto? Definitely a flavour from childhood.

Two young girls pretend playing outside their parents brand new villa in North Berwick.

Young girl to friend, "you pretend to be the abandoned baby".
My John into my left ear, "in ma day she would have said, you be the wee b****rd".

 

[Andy_R]

Female colleague "Stop playing with your balls"
Me "I'm not playing. It's therapy"
I have a set of therapy gel balls to get my hand working properly again after I broke my wrist.

 

[Scoosh]

I have a set of therapy gel balls to get my hand working properly again after I broke my wrist.

Aye, right ...

 

[gbb]

First car boot visited in 2years...some dialogue...
My wife has just read the paper on the way there...
'That didn't take long..kept me quiet for a while'
Without taking my eyes off the road I replied...
'I'll get you a bigger one next time'
Wife...

Later, im walking past a stall, i see some bottles of Stihl oil, i pick one up....its 2 stroke, but i want chain oil for the bike. I look up to ask him....someone else stood beside me asks the guy..
'Got any chainsaw oil mate ?'
'Yup, last one' as he hands it over.

oh....shoulda been quicker.

 

[Lullabelle]

Today everyone was talking about the Leics football match on Saturday

My boss, a female: did you see that opera bloke?
Other colleagues: yes he was really good wasn't he
My boss: did you know he was blind, I didn't
Me other female colleague: no I didn't but he is only a bit blind though
My male colleague: yes I knew and he is completely blind
Me:

 

[Dave 123]

Tim- Hmmm, I don't trust that Kenya
Me- What?
Tim- Kenya, all this nuclear stuff
Me- North Korea Tim.....
Tim- Erm,..... Oh.

Luckily he isn't a world leader with a finger on a button!

 

[ufkacbln]

Not quite "dialogue" more graffiti!

We scan patients using radioactive tracers that are excreted in the urine.

To reduce contamination, we have signs asking male patients to sit down whilst they use the loo


Today someone wrote across the sign:

No thanks... I was given a penis for a reason

 

[gbb]

Me...to the salesman who's just clinched a sale for a double bed..£1000...and a dining table and chairs...£750...
'I only thought we were shopping for a couple cans of paint '
Salesman...
Me...
'No...i'm serious'

 

[captain nemo1701]

Sitting in an ASL when a motorcyclist pulls alongside me.
Another cyclist does an RLJ and hops onto the nearby pavement. Biker leans over to me.
‘FXXXing cyclists, always jumping lights and riding on pavements’
I lean over to him so that he can hear me with his visor up:
‘When you get home, Google Highway Code rule 178. You just breached it’

 

[ufkacbln]

Took the Christiania down to the local tip to get rid of some rubbish

As I was waiting in the queue, this bloke comes up an starts telling me I should be wearing a helmet

Let him finish, and asked him if he had counted the wheels (3) and pointed out that tricycles were exempt

He looked bemused and asked "Really?"

"Absolutely" I replied, "Same as with motorbikes, trikes don't need helmets"

"Didn't realise that" he says and walks off

 

[AndyRM]

In the morning:

"I tried that banana bread recipe you gave me."

"Oh aye, did you like it?"

"Not really if I'm honest."

(My recipe is killer, and I know it...)

"That's odd, never had any complaints before. Did you follow the recipe and get all the spices in?"

"Well... I put two more bananas in because they needed used up, and didn't have any baking soda..."

"Right..."

"... and because it's bread I started off baking it in my bread maker before finishing it off in the oven. It tasted quite good, but the consistency was really odd!"

"I think I might know why..."

 

[AndyRM]

In the afternoon:

"Andy, what's your favourite part of Spain?"

"I've only been to Barcelona, which would be hard to beat because of the architecture. Gaudi is a favourite of mine."

"I didn't know he made buildings!"

"...Eh?"

"Yeah, you know, the Indian guy?"

"Gandhi. You're thinking about Gandhi..."